I’m not sure you understand that being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be completely enmeshed in each other’s lives 24/7.
It also doesn’t mean you have to comply with every request to ComMUNIcatE.
It is 100% reasonable have firm boundaries around when you are available to communicate with other people, regardless of whether you are dating, married or whatever.
For example: I don’t chat with friends or family during my work hours, my sleeping hours, when I’m eating, taking a walk, showering, or driving. Or cooking, or grocery shopping, or taking a dump. If someone calls at 7 am or 10 pm looking for a conversation, I’m not going to engage. Just because we have these handy devices within reach 24/7 doesn’t create an obligation to respond to the “communication” demands of everyone on their whims and arbitrary schedules.
If I’m spending time with friends, I’m with the friends. If I’m with family, I’m with family. If I’m on a date, I’m with that person. I might respond to an occasional text but that better not be an expectation. And Im not going to get dragged into an argument about it if I don’t respond in someone’s arbitrary timeline.
And if someone can’t sleep because im out with friends, they need to deal with their anxiety in a healthy manner that doesn’t involve me soothing their insecurity.
I don’t want to feel like this and you saying this honestly makes me feel even worse for myself. I HATE that I’m even this way. I usually encourage her to go out with friends and coworkers.
Why not? You say that as though those behaviours can't happen while someone meets someone else.
I’m not sure you understand that being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be completely enmeshed in each other’s lives 24/7.
It also doesn’t mean you have to comply with every request to ComMUNIcatE.
It is 100% reasonable have firm boundaries around when you are available to communicate with other people, regardless of whether you are dating, married or whatever.
For example: I don’t chat with friends or family during my work hours, my sleeping hours, when I’m eating, taking a walk, showering, or driving. Or cooking, or grocery shopping, or taking a dump. If someone calls at 7 am or 10 pm looking for a conversation, I’m not going to engage. Just because we have these handy devices within reach 24/7 doesn’t create an obligation to respond to the “communication” demands of everyone on their whims and arbitrary schedules.
If I’m spending time with friends, I’m with the friends. If I’m with family, I’m with family. If I’m on a date, I’m with that person. I might respond to an occasional text but that better not be an expectation. And Im not going to get dragged into an argument about it if I don’t respond in someone’s arbitrary timeline.
And if someone can’t sleep because im out with friends, they need to deal with their anxiety in a healthy manner that doesn’t involve me soothing their insecurity.
He cheated on you…stop making excuses and open your eyes
Go and hookup with someone else and then say the same thing to her
I don’t want to feel like this and you saying this honestly makes me feel even worse for myself. I HATE that I’m even this way. I usually encourage her to go out with friends and coworkers.