As a man that has not gotten off in bed a few times before šš this is sad to read. It happens sometimes and it's annoying and frustrating if your partners tired, one or both of you have early work days but it's not a big deal. Man's deserves no pussy.
So letās dig into that a bit. 3 years of not seeing her parents. 3 years ago a pandemic that affected the whole world began. So going off that info, she did not compromise there because of him. She got dealt the same shit hand any of us did -no fault of her husband. It wasnāt his command that led to countries being locked down travel and visitations.
So no, I donāt think thatās a fair comparison regarding whose making compromises for the sake of the relationship unless he specifically kept her from her parents for years. And as stated, if she wants to spend 6 months with her parents and he is willing to have them move in to their 1 bdr apartment for 3, then she can go back with them to China for the remaining 3 months
I feel this. Basically I think that when your spouse has a friend its always good to also get to know them. Two become one when you get married and if the opposite sex friend can't handle a spouse also being friends there is simply no room for that friendship. It's toxic for a spouse to have a friend who won't be your friend.
Do these text explicitly state that they are cheating/their spouses are unaware. There is a possibility that this is an arrangement that your parents have, which would be why you perceive that your dad has not yet “figured it out.”
Please, please donāt be so in need of a relationship and love that you put up with this from someone.
I get hangry all the time. But I am an adult so if/when I get hangry I handle it by grabbing something to eat as a snack. Also I apologize like a real human being when I drop the ball enough to get snappy at anyone. And I use the word snappy here for a reason because being curt is one thing but having a full tantrum is another. You had to walk him to the bathroom! Like heās five!!
Take a moment to think about the emotional roller coaster this guy is taking you on, having to cater to his moods and needs and taking the fall for everything. Itās toxic as hell and it took me years of therapy to deal with something similar.
Dump the guy, spend your money on some therapy instead of him, and after that find a dude who appreciates some delicious Italian food when itās put in front of him.
I have a very different perspective than most people when it comes to gender disappointment because Iām transgender, so I hope you hear me with an open mind when I say this.
There is a chance that neither of your daughters will stay daughters. There is a chance that if you had a son, your son could still become your daughter. You could end up with two non-binary kids. And even outside of that – names are changed all the time. They might not keep the names you give them at birth, even if they are trans or not. They could change their name for ANY reason.
Your children are their own people, not property. Try to focus less on āpassing down a nameā (which I understand can feel important) and instead pass down wisdom, good values, and love. Everything else can be changed – but being raised by a loving dad is a one-time experience.
If you can't recognize an immature but curious “out loud” thought, I'm sorry but you do not have thick skin. Quite the opposite infact.
However, I will admit, as a bloke, I struggle grasping the concept of being “sensitive”. Women will tell me something is insensitive and I'm just like, well what other way can I frame it? Just a straight to the point honest question / statement.
Back to the issue at hand though, I'm pretty sure it would cross your mind at some point too? “I wonder how my vagina will feel when we next have sex”
Makes you sound a bit hypocritical when framed this way. A curious mind is not an asshole, just curious. Let us be curious god damn it.
I'm bi – it's not a free pass to cheat. If I'm in a monogamous relationship with my partner I'm not kissing anyone else, male or female. It's not “less cheating” if it's someone of the same gender. You're not being unreasonable.
If you guys are in an open relationship that's different but even then you guys are allowed to set boundaries – some of mine in the past have been no mutual friends, no coworkers, open communication, etc.
Ask her the position she was in, what was being massaged and see if the event is repeatable. You could both have a lot of fun from this recent discovery.
Since youāve decided to keep it, you need to tell him. He and his fiancee deserve to know before committing to a lifetime together. I would say something along the lines of, āHey, I got pregnant during our time together, and Iāve decided to keep it. I don't expect anything from you, but Iād like to talk asap.ā
Guurrllā¦this man is using you and you should break up with him. If there was any hope it would be if he was trying to better himself and move forward, but heās not doing that. Any further hope you might have should have flown right out of the window once he called you a selfish b**** and told you to kill yourself.
Trust your gut which is telling you things arenāt right and DTMFA.
Breaking the cycle means letting it go. Sending anything to him will give him satisfaction. You will not get closure, the last word or a gotcha last word.
You should get some professional help to help you deal with letting go and breaking the cycle.
Do not respond and when he shows up next time tell your H to slam the door in his face. No texts, emails, or calls.
This totally sounds like a control move. How nice do you want to be about bringing it up?
The nice way would be to bring up all the additional work this gift forces on you–especially that long drive.
Less nice would be to say that someone hasn't given you a gift when they refuse to let it go on their end. They're buying a car and letting you use it, not giving you one.
You can't do anything. Your parents have to decide to cut the umbilical cord and let your brother fail if that's necessary.
I agree because if something fishy happened, I doubt he would show you so casually.
You OWE it to him to break up. Why does he not deserve someone who WANTS him?
He went to an important work party and held an after party without a single thought of you. Red flags high in the air girl.
As a man that has not gotten off in bed a few times before šš this is sad to read. It happens sometimes and it's annoying and frustrating if your partners tired, one or both of you have early work days but it's not a big deal. Man's deserves no pussy.
Sorry to say chief but it may be time to break it off
Does he normally provide input/opinions on what he'd like to do?
So letās dig into that a bit. 3 years of not seeing her parents. 3 years ago a pandemic that affected the whole world began. So going off that info, she did not compromise there because of him. She got dealt the same shit hand any of us did -no fault of her husband. It wasnāt his command that led to countries being locked down travel and visitations.
So no, I donāt think thatās a fair comparison regarding whose making compromises for the sake of the relationship unless he specifically kept her from her parents for years. And as stated, if she wants to spend 6 months with her parents and he is willing to have them move in to their 1 bdr apartment for 3, then she can go back with them to China for the remaining 3 months
I meant to work on your maturity before you date. Itās an essential component. Both of you are seriously lacking in maturity. Good luck.
I feel this. Basically I think that when your spouse has a friend its always good to also get to know them. Two become one when you get married and if the opposite sex friend can't handle a spouse also being friends there is simply no room for that friendship. It's toxic for a spouse to have a friend who won't be your friend.
See if she's open to being your friend?
Do these text explicitly state that they are cheating/their spouses are unaware. There is a possibility that this is an arrangement that your parents have, which would be why you perceive that your dad has not yet “figured it out.”
This isn't iCarly
Please, please donāt be so in need of a relationship and love that you put up with this from someone.
I get hangry all the time. But I am an adult so if/when I get hangry I handle it by grabbing something to eat as a snack. Also I apologize like a real human being when I drop the ball enough to get snappy at anyone. And I use the word snappy here for a reason because being curt is one thing but having a full tantrum is another. You had to walk him to the bathroom! Like heās five!!
Take a moment to think about the emotional roller coaster this guy is taking you on, having to cater to his moods and needs and taking the fall for everything. Itās toxic as hell and it took me years of therapy to deal with something similar.
Dump the guy, spend your money on some therapy instead of him, and after that find a dude who appreciates some delicious Italian food when itās put in front of him.
Go to debt counseling
I have a very different perspective than most people when it comes to gender disappointment because Iām transgender, so I hope you hear me with an open mind when I say this.
There is a chance that neither of your daughters will stay daughters. There is a chance that if you had a son, your son could still become your daughter. You could end up with two non-binary kids. And even outside of that – names are changed all the time. They might not keep the names you give them at birth, even if they are trans or not. They could change their name for ANY reason.
Your children are their own people, not property. Try to focus less on āpassing down a nameā (which I understand can feel important) and instead pass down wisdom, good values, and love. Everything else can be changed – but being raised by a loving dad is a one-time experience.
If you can't recognize an immature but curious “out loud” thought, I'm sorry but you do not have thick skin. Quite the opposite infact.
However, I will admit, as a bloke, I struggle grasping the concept of being “sensitive”. Women will tell me something is insensitive and I'm just like, well what other way can I frame it? Just a straight to the point honest question / statement.
Back to the issue at hand though, I'm pretty sure it would cross your mind at some point too? “I wonder how my vagina will feel when we next have sex”
Makes you sound a bit hypocritical when framed this way. A curious mind is not an asshole, just curious. Let us be curious god damn it.
I'm bi – it's not a free pass to cheat. If I'm in a monogamous relationship with my partner I'm not kissing anyone else, male or female. It's not “less cheating” if it's someone of the same gender. You're not being unreasonable.
If you guys are in an open relationship that's different but even then you guys are allowed to set boundaries – some of mine in the past have been no mutual friends, no coworkers, open communication, etc.
Ask her the position she was in, what was being massaged and see if the event is repeatable. You could both have a lot of fun from this recent discovery.
Since youāve decided to keep it, you need to tell him. He and his fiancee deserve to know before committing to a lifetime together. I would say something along the lines of, āHey, I got pregnant during our time together, and Iāve decided to keep it. I don't expect anything from you, but Iād like to talk asap.ā
Guurrllā¦this man is using you and you should break up with him. If there was any hope it would be if he was trying to better himself and move forward, but heās not doing that. Any further hope you might have should have flown right out of the window once he called you a selfish b**** and told you to kill yourself.
Trust your gut which is telling you things arenāt right and DTMFA.
Do not~
Breaking the cycle means letting it go. Sending anything to him will give him satisfaction. You will not get closure, the last word or a gotcha last word.
You should get some professional help to help you deal with letting go and breaking the cycle.
Do not respond and when he shows up next time tell your H to slam the door in his face. No texts, emails, or calls.
This totally sounds like a control move. How nice do you want to be about bringing it up?
The nice way would be to bring up all the additional work this gift forces on you–especially that long drive.
Less nice would be to say that someone hasn't given you a gift when they refuse to let it go on their end. They're buying a car and letting you use it, not giving you one.