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43 thoughts on “Adalline

  1. Yeah he promised me it was nothing more but I just don’t have trust for him anymore. The intimacy of dances is what I don’t like him doing alone and that’s what infuriates me as well. He knows our boundaries.

  2. “You have boyfriend dick” why you didn't run for the hills when she said this to you is beyond me. Your gf is for the streets my guy.

  3. No I actually feel that it’s none of my business tbh and to stay out. I also don’t want the friend that told me to get name dropped. I mentioned this to my best friend and she feels something should be said and we’ve had a v big difference of opinion on this

  4. You know all those stories in which someone suggests a theresome and it destroys their relationship? This is exactly how they start. If you want to fuck someone else or share her because you're unhappy with your sex life or you think it needs “spice”, she's most likely to take it as she's not enough. There's no coming back from something that hurtful.

    You don't invite people into your bedroom to “fix” your relationship. You should only suggest this if your strong, happy, and there is *mutual interest *.

  5. Mosr important is you do not continue trying for a baby while she is drinking 1.5l of spirits per day. Foetal alcohol syndrome is a very real likelihood. The effects will be lifelong for any child and depending on your country likely to have the child removed at birth is a pregnancy makes it to a online birth. Get her help for depression, drinking or other mental health issues. Then she needs to occupy her time with a job, any job. It's hot to stop supporting financially, but insist on paying anything directly to the creditor so it does not end up on alcohol.

  6. Oh and open dialogue. Talk, further down the line. Resentment is not a good emotion to carry and it will just fester if you don’t sit down and talk. That’s all I’ve got ?

  7. Well I shouldn’t be reading his messages but I think if I find something that is borderline cheating the crime of reading messages kinda goes out the window.. I just don’t know what to do now.. :c

  8. His reasons are perfectly valid. They are only 'excuses' to you because they don't fit YOUR plan.

    Here is your simple answer:

    Your bf does not want to move-in/ live! with you.

    A guy that says he doesn't want to move-in after 6 years because he is light-sleeper is looking for 'reasons' because “I don't want to.” is hot to directly tell someone.

    I suspect that if you hadn't moved closer to him your relationship would have casually died out.

    Time to start looking for someone who wants to progress in a relationship.

    He won't be there for SEVERAL YEARS and even the, maybe not with you.

    Sorry, but you both have different goals.

  9. You weren’t too honest. You’re just not compatible. The thing is with a crush, you don’t really know who they are. Now you found out she’s someone with boundaries you just simply don’t find reasonable. But they’re her boundaries. Not compatible.

  10. It's also not normal to avoid your spouse because they're angry. If my girlfriend is angry my first instinct isn't to basically freeze up and stop trying to attract her attention, it's to ask what's wrong and help her de-escalate, because being angry for long periods of time isn't healthy.

    One thing to point out, is that you're saying that he'd never lash out at you in your OP, but I'd like to point something out:

    He’s never lashed out at me, and I trust that he wouldn’t, but disagreements turn to arguments very quickly. I just keep my mouth shut and wait for him to cool off.

    Emphasis mine. He's already lashing out at you verbally if he's escalating disagreements into arguments to the point where disagreeing with him means you have to shut your mouth and wait for him to cool off. He's already “winning” disagreements by turning up the volume on them with shouting.

  11. I know it’s futile to help him in anyway, but how can I stop him instead, like forcefully stop him? He can’t keep doing this.

  12. Ignore the coworker in the room right now: you have no idea what a relationship with her would be like, or how it would progress and it might last a week and then fizzle out.

    How is your relationship with your girlfriend? If there were no outside forces, would you be happy? Yes, ignore the family ties and the friend pool.

    Are you happy? Are your issues together still on the compromise is ok side? If not, break up. If everything else being equal, you'd stay stogether, then stay together.

    There will always be other people, but I'd what you have is good, then why start all over again, to get to somewhere that took you 4 years?

    Also, you dated your girlfriend because she showed interest in you, not because you like her. It sounds like exactly the same thing with this new girl. You need to work on your insecurity, or when the next woman flirts with you, it'll happen again

  13. It's normal for abused/assaulted people to blame themselves. Have compassion for yourself. What would you tell a friend who went through the same thing? Give yourself that same compassion.

    Also, learn from this. Pin point the red flags and avoid guys who exhibit them. Most importantly, always trust yourself. If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't. Your intuition is always in response to something and always has your best interests at heart.

    Learning to trust yourself can sometimes takes lots of learning. Keep working on it. It's important.

  14. What is her financial situation? It's hard to judge without knowing how important this may or may not be to her bottom line.

    At first it seems petty for her to suggest, but I guess I could see this if she's very poor. Is that the case? Maybe she's just barely getting by, and not able to afford anything other than the bare minimum, so that little swing in gas money is a lot more important to her?

    If that's not the case though, I'd worry about this. In a marriage where you try to keep finances separate, there are going to be constant times where things aren't perfectly equal. If you can't see clear to let a lot of those slide, this will start to feel more like some kind of business partnership rather than a relationship. “You ate 4 of the 6 mozarella sticks at dinner, so you have to pay 93 cents more.” Or “you bought the more expensive brand of coffee beans this week. It's not fair to split that cost when I'm ok with the cheap coffee, so you owe me $1.23.”

    And then the “nicer” partner is going to end up being walked all over, since they'll probably ignore many of the times they paid more, but the partner who is laser focused on cost is going to constantly ask for extra payments.

  15. Is she willing to go to couples counseling? Sounds like she needs IC also. Are you sure she’s not cheating again?

    For me, bud walk at this pint. Enough already with her issues.

  16. Yup. She's going to take months to heal, could have PPD, and him expecting her to wake up after delivering a child and go back to doing the dishes is just …idk. He's not really sounding like he's giving her a fair shot.

    Pregnancy hormones and being exhausted are definitely valid excuses for asking a partner to help out more than they used to, even AFTER the baby's born.

    I find it really odd that his limit is when she's “carrying” the baby like it won't be physically demanding on her for like a year

  17. This is easily the most logical, emotionally intelligent comment I have ever read on Reddit. Thank you so much.

    I was worried about catching more lies, which is what caused today's argument – so if I look at this logically, he's frustrated because he feels he ruined the trust in our relationship. In his emotions, he took it out on me, saying he's on the spot and I'm going to just keep doing this — then admitting he knows it's his fault. When he said “people get over things at different paces” I thought he was being rude, but I think he was trying to validate that I'm still upset, because he's not the snarky type. We've both been wrong in the whole ordeal, me asking for too much info and him for lying. We both have work to do and feelings to feel.

    You're a miracle worker… haha.

  18. She watched the mandalorian without you!?!? Red flag city!!!

    Seriously though, that group of “friends” sounds like a mess, I’m sorry that whoever is messing with you guys doesn’t have a life. Suggest the mandalorian.

  19. Op, I wish I could give you a hug. Sadly your brother is right. You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm if they’d rather stay out in the storm. You have to put yourself first.

    Maybe someday your sister will come to her senses, but don’t wait on that, and don’t let her expect that you will when & if she comes crawling back after leaving him and wanting free childcare.

  20. I wouldn’t even think about having children with him or let any child around him. You have to report him as much as this will hurt you and end your relationship. At this point think about the safety of these girls! The sexual exploitation they go through. The pain. The shame. The permanent damage… No one child should looked at with lust and sexual desires. This guy is a monster whether you want to believe it or not. And you would be a bigger monster for not reporting him out of “love”. That’s how many children endure abused in while the one that should be protecting them look the other way

  21. If he’s not firmly and totally shutting her down then he is encouraging her, she should know by now that her actions are completely inappropriate and unacceptable if she wants to maintain a relationship with him. They are both in the wrong here but the burden falls on him since he is the one in a relationship and he is failing to respect you.

  22. I think it's fair to mention that my university isn't in the us and it's not really the best. Last year, one male student harrassed quite a lot of the people he was working with and, despite talking to the academics staff, nothing happened until a girl spoke out and went to the police. The university was quick to deny that they ever knew nothing of this story. So in my case they might do little to nothing.

  23. Huh? Used sales are as is. We have no idea what that person did to the clutch in a few days. Maybe they don't know how to drive standard and ruined the clutch? You can ruin one in ten minutes. Three days with the car is a long time

  24. You stayed around probably way longer than you should have because you constantly make excuses or maybe you’re just afraid of change,but anything is better than the life you’re living right now.


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