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23 thoughts on “18perfecttits

  1. My best friend is my ex-fiancé. I have known her since we were both 14 (we're 29). She is the godmother to my niece. We have many inside jokes, and make sure to try and see each other at least once a week for a catch up. We go on holidays together.

    Life happened. We didn't work out. And I get it can be difficult to remain friends with an ex. Heck, it took a lot of work for us too. But, we are important to each other, even if we are no longer in love with one another.

    We both date. We have our own love lives. And telling someone that she is my ex-fiancé brings baggage. We wouldn't sacrifice our friendship for anyone. And there are times were we will spend time alone together. If someone cannot deal with her being my friend, that is okay. I don't expect them to. But I also wouldn't accept them trying to change our dynamic.

  2. She also had me take a 'love language' quiz. And apparently her way of expressing love is through words. I've tried it so hard, but i just feels forced and phony sometimes.

    From another response.

    Is her love language words of affirmation?

    I'm wondering if she equates showing emotion with being loud and angry? When you say she yells in private do mean she yells at you?

  3. Well, you’ve got the phone and computer passwords. Seems like a good reason to check it out.

    It’s also a red flag in itself that he’s accused you of cheating twice in a week.

  4. Your university most probably has a career guidance counsellor or a student mentor of some kind.

    It would be a good idea to talk to someone like that and see if you can get a sense of what you want to study and what you want to do with your life.

  5. The person who said that said it as a joke because OP said they are keeping the baby because she’s religious while ironically having sex outside of marriage with a man she doesn’t even like

  6. Basically when people are posting about gay rights on Insta he doesn’t care or post about it. He cares about things that affect him, he isn’t a political person. Her believes everyone should be equal but doesn’t go out of his way to support the LGBT

  7. Soooo what's his problem then ? Why is he on a tirade about Jacob ? Why is he trying to get Jacob benched, why is he just being generally awful.

  8. Stop being subtle.

    Tell him to grow the fuck up, his actions may have been fun the first time, but now he is ruining your relationship, and your enjoyment of your favourite game.

    And be prepared to hammer this home, as in next time he does it, go out without him, or if you are out, just leave and go home.

  9. She is in a locker room with multiply people. She is not cheating. Seeing someone else hard in a not sexual way is not cheating. Who cares?

    Do you watch porn?.if you do you see other women hot too…

    Do you trust your wife? If you so why do you care?

  10. Do you have to get married in a church? Maybe find another venue that’s a little less “her side and my side?” My BIL and SIL got married in the middle of a ballroom with all the guests sitting in a circle. They didn’t have attendants because they didn’t really want the hassle, he had been married before and she had been in a million wedding and wasn’t interested in the drama! They walked down the aisle together rather than having parents escort them. Good luck with the wedding.

  11. You decided to go exclusive. That means you closed the relationship to most people. You then cheated. You probably can’t salvage this one. Maybe next time a serious conversation where you spell out your needs, and where your partner stands in the relationship, before cheating will help.

  12. Nothing here reads like you're being supportive

    He does something you find weird that affected literally nothing in your day, and you hop onto Reddit hoping strangers mention he's on the spectrum or something, and even mentioned in another comment youre concerned for 'it being a problem down the line'

    Just kind of sounds like nothing happened, and you're hoping it's a sign of a bigger problem for some reason

  13. You know he's controlling. You don't need us to tell you.

    Move you and the baby in with your parents or something while you untangle this.

  14. I am a 68 year old guy. I have been married 45 faithful, monogamous and very happy years. I have a good handle on what makes a marriage work. Through experience and age, I also have a good idea what sinks a marriage, if reconciliation is possible, and if so, what it may take to give it a chance, understanding more fail than succeed.

    First off, recognize your wife broke the marital vows she made to you and to God “to forsake all others”. It does not matter if it is an opposite sex relationship or same sex. At a minimum, she had an emotional affair if she has not already had a physical affair and is gas lighting you. It is obvious that Ashley sensed something with your wife that made her vulnerable. Most likely, she and her husband are sexual predators and are drawn to opportunity like a shark to blood. Ashley prompted your wife to discuss the possibility of a 3-way as a means of trying to lure you in a way that may have enticed you to approve of her having sex with Ashley to then work up to watching the next time, leading to a 3 way the 3rd time. When it was believed you may consider it, saying if you did approve, you would need to be present, they strung you along again saying her husband would only allow you to be present if he was as well. I believe that this was the goal all along and that they wanted to make it about watching the girls have sex and then a full out partner switch and again, you were being gas lit all along.

    All Redditors will tell you that unless you both are fully committed to sharing and are excited to do so, once you allow another into your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. You are obviously monogamous and really want nothing to do with sharing your wife with anybody. If you have any possibility of wanting to save your marriage, you need to put your foot down immediately and hard.

    First, you need to sit her down and tell her you will never be intimate with another person as long as you are married to her, and that if she ever again, has an emotional or physical affair, or brings up sharing in any form, you will immediately apply for divorce. You need to ensure how deeply this has hurt you, and you and that trust has been severely damaged and may be difficult at best in attempts to restore it since she lied to you by omission and broke her vows without ever discussing with you prior.

    Second, she said that she would cease all contact with Ashley if you wish it. Tell her you had hoped she would have made that decision on her own to go complete non-contact with Ashley and her husband forever, but since she has not already done so, it needs to be done now if she has any desire to reconcile. Have her call Ashley on speaker phone in your presence and make Ashley aware it was a horrible mistake to even consider this, that you are going to work on saving what is left of your marriage and never want to have contact of any sort with her or her husband ever again as they are too bad of an influence to be friends or even acquaintances.

    Next, tell her you are going to see a lawyer to draw up 2 documents. One will be a divorce document listing infidelity as the cause. The second document will be a post-nuptial agreement with a very strong moral clause. It will clearly define both emotional and physical infidelity and proof required of such for purpose of divorce. It must apply to both to be viewed fair and legal by the courts. It will state that in the event of infidelity leading to divorce the betrayed is awarded all marital assets, child custody and support, and either receives alimony or does not pay it based on the given situation. In essence , the wayward walks away with nothing. Tell her once they are written, you will provide her a copy of each along with your wedding band. You will go away for 3 days or so to give her time to think about what she wants and which document she chooses to sign. Let her know not choosing either will be a choice for divorce, so think it carefully while you are gone and she gets a feeling of life without you. If she chooses divorce, she was already lost to you. However, since she said she will cut off Ashley, she wants to remain married to you and will reluctantly choose the post-nuptial. Given the severe consequences for cheating, signing it is a major deterrent and signifies her commitment to a faithful marriage. This can be used to help re-earn trust.

    Next, she must engage in individual counseling to determine the cause of her series of bad decisions and what course of action must be taken to prevent a future occurrence. If the I. C. feel marriage counseling would be helpful and deems her ready to do so, that should be on the table.

    You must have open access to any of her media immediately open request if desired. You don't need to watch her every move, buy knowing you can have access at any time will again act as a deterrent.

    You may think of other consequences for her to endure as a result of her infidelity, but that is up to you. Reconciliation has the potential to work, but only if she understands and is truly remorseful for the pain caused you, and is contrite in willing to do whatever it takes to make up for her bad choices as penance and to enable you to heal. She must also understand that almost all the hot work it will take to reconcile is on her and be fully willing to see it through to the end.

    Given all of this, you must then sit down and agree on mutual, very firm boundaries and consequences for breaching them. Two broad based boundaries that have contributed to our long and faithful relationship are:

    If you would not do it directly in front of your spouse or without their knowing approval… don't do it. Do not allow yourself to be in a situation or environment in which the slightest opportunity to violate #1 has the inadvertent potential to occur.

    In your situation, your wife clearly violated both of these boundaries. Discuss these with her and detail exactly how she violated each. Then agree to these guiding principles for the future. I feel strongly this situation can have a happy ending. Please keep us informed. And should you wish to chat or just need a private ear, I am available and rooting for you two.

  15. I know that. Her father died in his sleep due to heart problems, should I not be concerned about her health? Should I pretend everything is fine. I don't think this is an unnecessary problem and it's invading my feelings towards it

  16. In spite of all you wonderful folks of the UK explaining this to that person, she’s still trying to insist it’s not a deep level of disrespect in the UK, when in fact, it is, when in this context. ?‍♀️

  17. This is alarming behavior. You can’t agree to this unless he lets you in, and explains what he means and why.

  18. You hooked up with someone in a relationship.

    Unless you want this situation to continue of him using you every time him and his bf have an argument, you need to stop this.

    You’re the one that’s going to get hurt. Have some self respect and look after yourself. This person is a cheat. You deserve better.

  19. He clearly doesn't want to. If he cared about her comfort he would've found a way to be more gentle the first time it happened. This man wants to be sexually aggressive and the fact OP calls him out on it irritates him. So he's trying to weigh her down to the point she just takes it and lets him do what he wants.


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