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I didn't have the read the whole thing (although I did) to know that is not the person OP needs to be marrying. If the fiance had that little respect for anything Jewish which OP is, then OP should kick them to the curb.
so happy to help, makes me feel like it was not all for nothing if i can help people learn from my experiences.
wish you all the best and a bright future, alone or together
I’ve been trying to go, I had an appointment scheduled but he wouldn’t let me go when he found out the price
I'm just not comfortable, especially since my situation is unconventional.
I'd say its a reasonable thing to address.
It's his comments are distasteful. Why does it always need to be said? Why can you not just say thank you! appreciate it! (the standard response).
If you need to provide a reason as to why you're so good at something, why can you not just say, thank you, I worked nude on myself to be a better person.
Why does it always need to be attributed to his ex? It's like nails on a chalkboard for you every time.
you're cringe. i feel bad for the guy
No I don’t trust him, and I told him. But he insists I will be safe in a hotel. And then after I told him I don’t want to spend the weekend there he said maybe I could come for a day then. Meet in the morning, have something to eat, do some activities and then I leave. But I told him that means I’ll be driving 4 hours. And he said I was being unreasonable and looking for excuses to not meet up. Then I suggested we meet halfway and he told me about his job, so I told him about my job too (I actually have to work on the weekend but I won’t) and he said missing 1 weekend of work isn’t serious and he’ll pay me the money I’ll lose. So I told him it’s not about the money, I don’t mind not getting paid this weekend. So he said I’m just making excuses. That’s why I’m thinking maybe I’m being unreasonable? But in my head what I’m saying makes sense.
People are assuming that this isn't something he suddenly realized and that he knew he was bo when they started dating
thank u sm!! i really appreciate it 🙂 i’ll try and think it over and possibly message in the morning
But the biggest buttplug you can find. Tell him if he wants you to do it, he needs to as well, and you got him the one you thought he needed because he’s such a huge asshole.
Slow your roll. His parents have ever reason under the Sun to be suspicious of you.
I do have concerns about the age gap here, so if he is the soulmate you claim him to be, there’s no rush. Build a foundation as friends and gain the trust of his family over time. Truly you’re both acting like lovestruck teenagers here. One of you has slightly more of an excuse to behave that way and it’s not you.
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You are confused ..
Stop remembering the moments that felt good or hopping for him being something that he's not..
If you don't feel loved, if you don't feel respected, if you are miserable with him.. only you can make yourself happy.
If he's blaming you, guilt tripping you making you feel bad about yourself it shows you that he doesn't love you. If he feels the same as you (blame shifting) then agree with him to move separate ways.
“I only cheated on you ONE TIME for god’s sake!” is the biggest pile of crap I’ve ever heard. You do you, man, but a lot of us think that’s bullshit and she has to go. ?♂️
Or he is
You could try asking him who he was with when you tried the poly thing. If he doesn't admit it, you just have to be honest. Because he broke a very basic rule you guys had. Some people consider that a major breach of trust, sometimes even cheating.
You guys should be able to be honest with each other.
This is the best advice here. This woman sounds like a disaster to deal with.
Honestly, I think the parents are being really selfish. They know their kids are married, and they know it's going to make life more complicated. But they made the decision anyway.
OP and his wife didn't get to make those decisions before marriage because they didn't exist. But his father and his MIL did know the consequence that it would make their lives more complicated and if there was a break up of either couple would be messy and they took it, so they are the ones to online with that consequence. So no I don't think they get to make any demands.
They want to be together fine, but OP has a right to his feelings.
I hear a few things here.
First, it’s okay to not want to hear about someone’s sexual history. Set a boundary for yourself. “I know you’ve had sexual experiences before us, but I don’t want to hear it. Please don’t tell me about your past sexual experiences.” That’s okay. Some people love to talk old flirts. Others can’t bear it. Just speak your truth if you don’t want to hear it.
Second, it sounds like you feel bad about him having previous sexual experiences that are not with you. Which comes off as possessive of his intimacy, like it can only be yours. What do you mean by we wouldn’t have had to face any of this? Sexual intimacy is something that people get to decide for themselves. Assuming his sexual relationships were consensual, and you were not dating (or in an open relationship), his past is his alone.
That's why I want her to understand before it's too late and she dumps me
Hey can you update us when y’all get divorced? There is no way in hell this is gonna last after you guys had threesome with not just a stranger no but your wife’s BEST FRIEND. This is the dumbest thing that I’ve read today. Lmao good luck
Fidgeting may be annoying, I can see that. But her attack seems a very strong response.
I don’t equate the offense and punishment as being proportional.
More at play here.
No, not at all, I don't mind people enjoying things that I don't. Same goes for OPs girlfriend really, I doubt what she enjoys would be up my street and I wouldn't denigrate her either. But that does seem to be what she's doing to OP.
If it’s a crime then she should bring it to the police and get them in trouble
Did you communicate that you would like to spend the time together? Have you spoken to him about your expectations for these trips?
Yeah sounds like negging
You won’t do what he wants so he physically hurts you? AND he wants you to give up friends? Let him go. Seems like a no brainer to me.
Ok, we’ll go with ho then ?? seriously it’s like you have zero shame.
This is abuse. And your kids are definitely picking up on it too. Your only options really are to stay and put up with the abuse or leave. You’ve been very defensive in your replies and I’m wondering what advice you expected. Contact local DV services and ask their advice on what steps to take. I hope you find your way out.