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Oh my god, just end this sham of a relationship! Seriously. You have never met him and you don't have any plans to ever live! together, so of COURSE you don't feel connected to him! Why would you?! He is a pen-pal with whom you have zero future. Stop wasting your prime years.
As for your fear of never meeting anyone else. You sure as hell won't meet anyone being tied to a computer screen. You should be afraid of staying WITH this guy. Being a 40 year old with nothing to show for romance except a computer guy you barely like should be your greatest fear.
Yeah, don’t do that.
If you find her attractive, tell her so.
When she asks you to change your body, tell her no. “I like my body. Please don’t criticize my weight; it makes me feel bad.”