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  1. Dude, they can sue you for back child support if they want too. This is stupid on so many levels. I don’t think you are stupid, but this is a stupid idea.

  2. Hello /u/drinkbottle75,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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  3. Dump him and walk away . He is totally into her and not you, he could have changed plans for you but chose the excuse that they were made before you , he didn't want to change plans and he won't change anything about his life for you. They are living together and keeping it low key! Walk away from him and tell him that you aren't playing sloppy seconds to anyone especially with him living with someone that he's in-love with

  4. Hello /u/Revolutionary-Sun344,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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    request advice in real situations involving two or more people

    We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:

    [##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:

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  5. AITA is also 2/3 women as of last report I saw – and surprise surprise they constantly bend over backwards to find ways to call the guy the asshole. My fave is when someone posts the same story but with the sexes reversed – and they get completely opposite answers when the guy does it vs the woman…

  6. Well yeah, that’s prejudice, and the father is feeling it. That’s never been in question, I’m just explaining where that prejudice came from; racism.

    Your fragility is showing.

  7. Wait. The guy in the open marriage goes to church with a gf?

    Or the guy who sleeps on her couch and she had sex with goes to church with his gf?

  8. Very VERY few people are naturally good at playing with toddlers. If he even wants a chance at being in this kids life later, he should be showing up now. That child shouldn't have to earn daddy's attention or entertain him.

  9. So, typical dude logic:

    “I go along with this, possibly avoid a fight, my family still gets in on the deal, and hop it turns out. Or I blow the whistle and risk us both job hunting, either be auze I get cut out or because she wants me to for moral reasons….yeah, option 1 works”

  10. He might say he doesn't want a divorce for many reasons outside of wanting to preserve the relationship. My ex-husband fought tooth and nail against divorce. I found out later that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with not wanting to lose financial freedom's.

  11. Omg, me too, I got to season 2 and I just couldn't carry on watching. The violence, the sex… everything was too much. My husband loves gore horror movies, I can't stand them- logically I know its fictional but for some reason some violent images haunt me and I tend to dream about them- and get flash backs to the scenes i find most disturbing- they really linger in my mind for a long time, I can remeber scenes from movies I watched as child that disbed me, I can still get flash backs today. I'd just be honest about the fact that these scenes are really upsetting and disturbing to you- i told my husband this and he hasn't had a problem watching anything else and if there's something we are watching together and he know something is coming up that will be disturbing he warns me and gives me the option to fast forward or close my eyes till its over but I don't ask him to watch chick flicks and he doesn't ask me to watch gore. It works for us.

  12. It’s not shallow to not be attracted to someone who’s fat or obese, it’s called preferences, we all have them. You show how butter you are needlessly attacking OP.

  13. It's funny how you just pull identities out of your hat to justify your arguments. Hope one day you can see past your own indignation to actually engage with someone else.

  14. He’s devaluing you so you’ll feel inferior and stay with him, an inferior product… until he finds a younger model.

    I mean… That’s how he values his women right?!? He already informed you that you’ve lost your value to him and you’ll continue to devolve.

    It’s how men trick you into thinking they’re a prize to be win and you’re just a consolation prize if they can’t get something prettier. It’s a mind game creepy men play.

  15. Look. You are your own person, and you need to worry about yourself. You said in your post you miss your independence and you can tell you’re not happy in the relationship after 1 weekend of hanging out with friends.

    The breakup needs to happen, and as another commenter said, the longer you wait the worst it will be. I know it sucks, it really really sucks. And even if you don’t have feelings for her, it’ll still hurt you too. I ended a nearly 3-year long relationship because I had absolutely no love for the man I was with anymore. The freedom you will feel after that breakup with be unmatched. Trust me. Liberate yourself. It’s the best for you and the best for her. The sooner you breakup, the sooner she can move on. They say to get over a relationship takes half the time of the relationship. If you’ve been together for 11 months, it’ll take her 5.5 months to get over you. Keep waiting and it will take longer.

    As for HOW to do it? Well, I would love to tell you it’s better to do it in person but I don’t know if you want to drive 2 hours to dump her. In person, tell her the feelings aren’t there for you and you need to split, you aren’t happy in the relationship. Don’t make excuses like it’s a break or you need time or space because she’ll be hopeful you’ll get back together. If her college has resources for therapy or counciling, refer her to those. Block her after. I mean it. Give her a few hours for questions of closure but after that she’s done. If she can’t contact you it’s for the best. Don’t let her hold onto that hope that you two will “work out if she tries harder”.

    Over text/call? Explain to her that you don’t have feelings and the pressure is a lot for you and not what you currently want in life. She is young. She will be okay. Let her ask questions. Let her have her closure. Do not let her contact you again.

  16. Thanks for your kind words. I wish I could just be like, “going to block her and never think about her again”. I've tried blocking her but I end up regretting it and unlocking her within a few hours.

    I just want to be happy.

  17. An engagement ring is a gift. You're the one buying it, so you're the one who should decide how much to spend on it. I think my engagement ring cost $600 or something, I don't know. My husband spent what he could afford at the time, but more importantly he spent time and put thought into picking out a ring he knew I would love. I think her properties are messed up, and personally I don't think someone who is worried about the cost of her ring is mature enough to get married.

  18. He needs therapy and he needs to be willing to change. Frankly it’s an absolute deal breaker for me. The bottom line with a hoarder is that the default is to on-line in chaos, anything you try to change means you’re (from the hoarders perspective) harming them. How about watching hoarders together and seeing if you can get him on board. If you can’t you need to leave and sell the house before it loses all its value.

  19. You shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. You need to work through a lot of stuff in therapy.

  20. If it was just a stupid suggestion, then why did he have all his reasons and arguments thought out? His 'research' done to convince you? He's obviously been thinking about it for some time and now he's trying to shield himself from the consequences.

    Anyway, sounds like therapy would be a good idea, as you'll never trust him unless he shows you the work he's willing to do to regain your trust. At the very least, you'll have the whole picture when it comes to deciding whether you want to stay or go. Good luck, OP!

  21. Lady, I’m sorry for your situation but I would spend my life walking around on eggshells for anyone or thing. I hope you can get yourself into a better situation

  22. Or could be that whoever op cheated on is acting like its nothing.. And op who is actually the cheater is posing as the cheatee to understand more. pushes bowl of popcorn towards you

  23. Thank you for the response. I agree, he's not perfect, but neither am I. There's been enough good in our relationship that I feel like I'd still like to put in the effort and I'm hopeful we can move past this.

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