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1. Your partner told you she’s uncomfortable with your relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Your only valid response is to stop being friends with Kate.

   If it comes down to it so be it. The situation is weird to me because Kate is in fact, her BEST FRIEND. she'll always be around us, wether either of us like it or not.

   This is specifically why I insist she should be told about this. I'm not going to ghost someone for what seem to be the entirety of my potential future with Lucy every freaking day or multiple times in a week on end. It's unreasonable to me.

   Just tell her why we can't be friends then so the weird silent moments and passive ghosting can stop.

   If it was a random person, then yeah I don't have to deal with them but the bff hangs around her a lot and we met meet a lot. It would be better if she knew instead it's me constantly and Kate asking me what's up and I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders and act dumb! And I have to do this repeatedly meanwhile is also standing there acting dumb.

   How is that reasonable?

   Because let’s be honest, if you felt she was too close to a male friend you would be uncomfortable too.

   Of course I would, but if that male was my best friend then there would be some initiative I would take in ending that friendship considering I would be the same person who would bring the same guy I told my girl to avoid into her life by association or just company.

   I wouldn't tell my girl to avoid a dude then constantly show up with him repeatedly. It's counter intuitive/productive.

   It doesn’t matter if you think she should admit she’s being insecure. It doesn’t matter if you think your right.

   It's not about me being right. It's about you not being honest with your feelings with someone you are in romantic relationship with.

   Trust and honesty is vital for a relationship. It's okay to not tell or admit it to others but it's shouldn't be that way with a romantic and potential life partner.

   I don't care about being right but rather that she keep her honest feelings hidden from me. Even when I can see it.

   Deception even in the sense of self preservation is still deception and it makes me uneasy.

   By you fighting for this friendship it makes her feel as if it’s more important to you than her feelings. Which is a worse way to treat your partner than to mildly upset a girl who is not your girlfriend.

   Im not necessarily fighting for it. Like I said I agreed to the initial plan of avoiding her and actively tried to make it happen even despite my disagreement with it.

   It's only because this weird dramatic situations I was trying to avoid actually came to pass.

   If Kate just accepted my avoidance and kept it moving that would be the end of that. It's her constant questioning, akward gazes and reference to my behaviour that I find annoying and I can't tell her anything because this whole plan revolves around her being in the dark as to why I'm acting this way.

   It's also weird that someone would do that to their best friend. If your so damn close just have a conversation about this and tell your bff what's up rather than have them constantly questioning and feeling shitty about being ghosted meanwhile the entire time you know why they are being ghosted and you keep silent.

   Ethically that's not how friends should treat each other and it makes me question her sense of morals and ethics.

   I know I sound preachy a bit? but it makes me look at her different.

   I don’t give a fuck who I have to upset for my partner. They are who I choose.

   Why you have to upset someone for the sake of your partner naturally matters. Even love in excess that is blind to implications is unhealthy. That's all I'll say about that.

   Your partner should also love you enough to not put you in certain situations.

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