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  1. “We agreed to not sleep with anyone until we got a divorce just in case we worked it out”

    There’s your answer. If you both in fact went into this separation both agreeing to this rule, then yes, she cheated.

    Doesn’t really matter if she’s trying to wave it away with technicalities, this doesn’t seem like something you would be willing to overlook or work through. I have a feeling she’s trying to walk it back because she’s still undecided on what she wants and doesn’t want to face consequences.

  2. Do you want him to propose? It sounds like you (rightfully) think it’s to early.

    Your actions depend on what you would do with a proposal. If you want it then just wait. If not you can either ask him directly that you saw it, ask outright why he has it and be ready to turn him down or alternatively you could instigate a casual conversation that you think a proposal should not happen before eg moving in together or X years together or something like that.

  3. He was trying to be nice and polite by not answering. You pushed. He told the truth. And then you attacked him for it. Charmer. Can't see why he's not interested at all.

  4. Stop apologizing!! He’s cheating on you and has cheated on before. You said in a comment he still want to be your best friend even he you all divorced. Of course so he can continue to use you. Girl, prioritize yourself!! Go to therapy for you. Learn to love your yourself and make yourself number one.

  5. yes but i am still uncomfortable with it. thanks for your sharing, i think my partner and i just have a different view of things, i might just try to make things work or leave if i continue to feel uncomfortable and unhappy.

  6. I underatand your point but making things official won't prevent either of us from leaving at any point. Relationships end and so do marriages. I think I had longer FWB situationship and than a lot of people (with kids) have dated their partners.

  7. Tell her it’s time to get a job. If she wants to be treated like an adult, she should stop living like a spoilt princess.

  8. Do not make a decision about moving overseas with him this early. Not in 6 months. Not even in a year. This is a HUGE thing to do and will radically alter your life. If it goes bad it can ruin your life. Go slow. Be careful. Take a whole lot of time with this.

  9. Yes I agree it's no use to suffer endless complaints…but I just used to walk away. Literally, leave the room if my husband started complaining. He knew what my advice would be so it was no use repeating it. I told him that was hus journey over and over and eventually he stopped trying to share. Other changes made him recover.

  10. This!!

    It’s right up there with a girl telling some guy her BF’s name and then he says the wrong name back or twists it to sound dumb. It’s a high school level douche move to get a girl to think it’s funny to disrespect her BF. Your GF played along to get a free drink. I doubt if positions were reversed, she’d be so understanding.

  11. A cease-and-desist letter to wife and mom for bothering you!!

    Wife has an issue of a single female owning a home next to her and her pearl clutching mom to come over and scold you is way over the line!!

  12. I asked her to not have male friends, because I really think that women and men can’t be friends

    My personal opinion? This is where you fucked up.

    Who you consider a friend should not be decided by their genitalia. Are bisexual people in relationships not allowed to have friends at all?

    But it was 100% reasonable to not want her to be friends with some dude she was seeing before you that she met on Tinder. Like… yeah dude, completely understandable. Until you went all “no friends with penises allowed!”

  13. I see what you are saying, and no I don’t NEED to. But we’ve had issues with this before where I lied and then admitted it because I knew she knew the truth (like drinking alcohol and saying I didn’t) so I would atleast expect and appreciate the same from her..

  14. But finding each other in the future and her response was to ask to hang out? She didn't seem to take it as a departure, moving-on letter.

  15. Just make sure you don't give her any reason to be insecure afterwards.

    This will probably be a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Take it and just be careful.

    Some more tips:

    Don't cuddle or be affectionate with the other woman afterwards

    May want to use some viagra if you got it, the nervousness and attention to our suggestions may be distracting and be nude for you to stay… very hot.

    Don't kiss unless wife gives you the okay

    If your wife is bi, play with her while she plays with her friend

    If you do well enough and your wife walks away from this as a positive experience, you may get more threesomes in the future.

  16. No one is saying that the bf shouldn't get proper care and support. People are warning OP about her thinking that she's magically special and he's not showing a lack of empathy only to her. Those are important things to keep in mind especially considering they have a child coming. The abortion comment was out of line but the concerns weren't. As a care worker shouldn't you be able to draw a line and plainly state the impacts of it so that people's expectations are clear and they can more accurately support the person?

  17. And you've literally broken down her timeline by the minute in your post. It's one thing to check a partner's location now and again, it's another to obsess over each increment and text timestamp – that's the part that strikes me as exhausting and controlling.

  18. we're both tight with 26F and her entire family.

    And this, my friends, is how shitty partners justify their shitty behaviour.

    They'll romanticise their emotional affair, put the affair partner on a pedestal and refuse to cut contact.

    Nice.

    And friends? Wow, aspiring pieces of guano.

    Imagine being the wife in this situation – at least 5 people around you are just lying trash and you have zero idea.

    You dine with them, welcome them into your home and this is how they all repay you.

  19. I'd leave it at no thank you. She doesn't owe. him an explanation and having a boyfriend leaves the window open. Maybe he'll think, oh well, if they break up maybe I'll have a chance etc.

    That book The Gift of Fear explains it well. A firm no once and then if they persist, it's on them and they are showing themselves to be a troubling/unsafe person.

  20. some credit card companies automatically share the new number with certain companies if you have automatic payments set up

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