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Why would you want to be gf/bf with such an idiot. Consider this a blessing and move on.
I can't imagine a weaker minded individual.
I wouldn’t bring it up. Just go with their flow. If you get an invite to something, great. If you don’t, it’s fine too. I know someone who thought she would be a bridesmaid and tried to discuss it with the bride when her feelings got hurt. The response was even more hurtful. It just ruined their friendship.
It sounds a little bit like she might have some narcissistic traits. A lot of people have big egos when it comes to their work. They want to be seen and heard 24/7 and perceive their teammates as competition. She's new and probably feels very vulnerable because of this, so she's trying to elbow her way into everything. I don't know how closely you work with her, but I'm guessing she may target you specifically because she either sees you as the most “threatening” person on the team (but that's hot to say without knowing your team dynamic) or she feels like it's easiest to “pick on you”. You described yourself as shy and quiet, so she probably thinks you're the easiest target because you won't fight back.
When dealing with people you don't know, you should always remember that they don't care about your needs. They care about theirs. This chick is new on the job, she's probably intimidated by everything and she doesn't have anybody to support her. If you confront her about how much of a dick she's being, or worse, run to your supervisors, what's going to happen? Is finding out that she's already being antagonized in a new team going to make her want to integrate?
So what to do? Keep HER needs in mind. This is probably going to be very uncomfortable for you as an introvert, but I would recommend you to make an effort to get along with her, preferably when there's other people around. Include her. Invite her to join you at lunch or have a coffee break together. Ask her about how she's doing and integrate her into your conversations with your colleagues. Show her she's part of the team now too and she doesn't have to talk over anybody else, she's also being heard. Maybe even “enlist” a couple of colleagues you have good relationships with. Offer her your help. She's either going to relax or snap at you. If she chills out, good. If not, then there's witnesses and you can confront her about her behavior first and THEN run to your boss.
You said he's stealing a game.
u r relieve bcos u know u wanted to break up with him and it’s not working but didn’t know how ?
I would honestly advise you to leave. It's better that she goes through this alone than to go through it with someone so resentful and unsupportive. You seem to hate your life with her now. This isn't her life, it's the life you two have together. Get out and let her handle it alone so at least she knows where things stand. It's better to know the truth than to be blindsided by you throwing it in her face later.
Walk away now. You already know it isn’t going to go anywhere. Cut your losses and just leave.
Your parents are child abusers.
Good for you manifesting somebody. It just takes a little time sometimes practice with it. Go to YouTube and look for manifesting and Neville Goddard. You got the right idea though.
no.. i'm more upset she doesn't want to in the first place, it shows me where her values are..
Your mom wants you there… so you stay.
Stop “talking” to the abusive jerk she is dating.
TAKE YOUR MOM FOR A WALK NEXT TIME HE IS AN ASSHOLE. DON'T GIVE THE PERSON WITH THE BAD BEHAVIOR TIME AND ATTENTION.
You should be talking to her about how badly she is letting him treat her friends and how he is trying to isolate her.
That’s what Im planning to do, I hope she gets my pov..
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1) Your soon to be ex sounds like your mother. It's wrong for her to want you to cut off ties on the family that aren't a-holes. From what you described, cut your loses and walk 2) Go a pair and cut ties with your mom, don't invite her to your next wedding or even speak to her.
I stopped at the first sentence please why does this happen. I’m 18 and I’m still wondering how teenagers can see an older person flirting with and “dating” them as anything buy predatory. I feel so bad for these people and I really hope OP can see through this one day.
Absolutely, unless you're saying something rude or intrusive, or contacting someone who doesn't really want to be in contact with you.
You're 18, you don't ever need to see your dad again if you don't want to. He and your ex boyfriend have effectively been using you as cover for their relationship, which possibly could be the whole 2 years you were together..
Tell your mum and your ex's parents what you know. They can contact the authorities and take it from there. Please stay safe.
If a guy is going to get thrown off because you happen to violate that dumb rule, he’s not worth it. Be you, converse naturally, stop policing your behavior to appear otherwise
Rip off that bandaid friend. Just do it. It's scary before you do it but it will be so much better once you do it.
This comment makes me feel like I need you to narrate and explain all the happenings of my day to day life lmao. But really OP… I’m worried about you, that you are even questioning if this is normal. Take a look around you and look at other people you know and try to imagine them having this type of argument with their significant others. This might help you see how ridiculous it is and how manipulative he is.
Hey, if you ever specifically need an internet mom, r/momforaminute is one of the kindest subs on Reddit 🙂
She is with you though?
I get the feeling, but whose arms is she sleeping in?
Why hello there Sugar Daddy.
This woman sure has you whipped. Be sure to wrap your pecker because the best way for her to secure her future is to have your baby – especially since it looks like you’re loaded. You’ve been played real hot Daddy, wise up and realise if someone needs to be financially supported 3 months into a relationship then they’re only going to be staying because you’re providing the good life, with none of the nude work.
“Confided in me enough to express her concern”
I bet she shed a tear or two as well. ?
She wants to be sure of her future finances? Tell her to get a job.
May as well buy a Thai bride at this point.
Apologize for being a complete idiot. You need to mean it and say you realized how stupid and immature it was to ask that not to mention insensitive. That in the future you won't ask dumb questions like that. And again you need to mean it all.
Info:do you talk to your gf about her brother and about what you feel he is doing to y’all’s relationship
Maturity is difficult- at some point, you mature because you choose to, not because your body ages. I’ll consider this, thanks.
You have a small child, suck it up. Start doing more around the house (your SHARED house, with your wife and child) and do more childcare so she can have a rest. Focus on supporting your partner and parenting – the rest will follow. Sexual intimacy decreases after birth quite some time with lots of people. You're a parent now. Grow up.
This is such bullshit. Your natural healthy way of flirting with your girlfriends roommate? She deserves better. You’re a grown man who is essentially saying that you can’t control your flirting. And you wanted to evaluate your flirting skills? She should run.
So if my maths right thats a 17 year old dating a 12 year old…. tf?
waaaaah ?
“Owns a local pharmacy”… fake af
You and your family care for your sister since she was born and from your post, it sounds like you have been doing that wonderfully. I'm certain that if she could, your sister will be thanking you all the time. Although family is family, it takes a lot to give a person the amount of care I'm sure you have.
You are a wonderful brother, don't forget that no matter the struggles.
You are not doing anything wrong. Don't listen to anybody who says otherwise.
Sort of? You see with smaller stuff I really think I should be free to be honest about things, if I can't that is a red flag. For example if I am supposed to go with them help to choose clothes I can just tell them they look good like a robot, but that is not the point. If I am actually engaged it means I will inevitably tell them they don't look good in some clothes, again if I can't do it without them having meltdown I will take as sign to run away.
As for feelings that I recognise/thoughts that are hyperbolic, inappropriate or just wrong I try to keep them to myself. If they are stupid thoughts I will get over them soon enough, if I can't do it it means I need to address them regardless of result. In your case you should have shared how you feel, but not in the way you have done it.
Now for me your complaint is just petty, she has fallen asleep even though it was appropriate to situation. It can happen to people, it has happened to me before. You should have just told her you wanted her to make you feel special on your birthday. Even better it's a conversation you should have had before this day and you could discuss your expectations then. You might find it strange, but it isn't from my standpoint. I really do not put much significance to my birthday or other such dates. Now it's fine if someone has their expectations about me, but it's really something I prefer to ask them beforehand. Including what things would they consider being good gift for them.
Communicate with her how you feel and how you would like for things to be going forward, do not get stuck on the past, it's just silly. Of course, if you have proper talk in advance and then your partner completely ignores them, then that is a red flag and you should leave.
to be with
That's not what the first comment said, nor I. We both said “to meet.”
Well directly should work. You're doing something very complicated that required both of you to do. You can't play the secretary while he wants to play on a Ps5. Either he start carrying his weight or tell him you will match his energy and put as much effort into it as he is.
But they are doing the most changing that you can change outside of dying. So the premise, main argument, and conclusion go out the window
Why don't you just put a GPS tracker on his car and then randomly pop up at his location? Or text him on Sat and ask where he's at and just drop in? If he has a I phone turn his location on and track his shit.
Oh, that aint bad then ?
she wants kids […], because she […] can’t be alone.
Please do not put kids in the world because a young woman just out of her teens have mental health issues. I had kids at 30 and I kind of wish I would have taken more time to sort my own shit out and mature further. Kids are not a fix for your own shortcomings, hangups or trauma. Having kids pushes all your buttons while being sleeps deprived and in a bad mood. And if she doesn't want to deal with parents just wait until she sees all the conflict grandkids create in dysfunctional families.
RIP rick and morty
Please OP, do NOT get married to this guy. He seems to be looking for a maid, not an equal partner.
Leave the guy and find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
This sub wants to blame porn for everything. People would blame porn for the Hindenburg if they could.
Open relationships only work if you both consistently communicate and are both open and on board, if you don’t close the relationship back up until you are both ready you are most likely going to lose the relationship
Yes, you are absolutely dealing with a womanizer. Don’t waste your time, he sounds like a schmuck. Did he love you? I mean yeah, sure. But that word gets thrown around a lot, what do you mean by that? Does he think fondly of the time he had with you and does the possibility of not seeing you again make him sad? Yeah probably. But love is also a verb as they say and this guy has done nothing to commit to or even be honest with you. Not very loving.
I know marriages can work after cheating…but I don't think I can do it…but i read a post on here once and then I knew I would never stay….
She said she truly forgave her husband and trusted him again…then they talked about kids…
That is when she left….she didn't want her children to know their dad was a cheater…secrets just can't always stay secrets and if it does stay a secret…she knew and she ew she didn't want kids with a cheater.
Why would you want to take her back
She willingly cheated on you continuously for atleast a year
Get some God damn respect for yourself
That's wrong isn't it?
Welcome to the life of the overwhelming majority of divorced men. ?♂️
Listen to your mom. Leave him alone, for you and your kids sake
There are many people who are not into deep conversations for many reasons so if he does not want to talk about something like what happen after death, not want to talk about his childhood and other intense things then it is fine and it does not show that he lacks emotional connection with you. Tulka on this serious topic for 15 mins is enough and you should be fine with this as well and it has been only 4 months so it coming time, he will be more open to you about everything. Right now, you have nothing to worry and believes in him when he says he can be himself around you and can see his future with you.
I told him to never do that again and that if he doesn’t find a way to respect me better, I would end this relationship.
Well, he's kind of failed at that, so now it's time to put your money where your mouth is.
It sounds like he brings nothing to the table except abuse. He's making your life 10x harder, but you're still thriving. I think you would be much happier without him, and I think you already know that.
Is this the hill you’re willing to die on? I’m baffled that someone wouldn’t want to show off to the world that he/she is taken and is married to the love of their life. And I’m baffled that your husband has to keep asking you to wear the ring that I assume he picked out just for you.
You caught him lying. You had to make sure that he actually was lying before you could call him out on it. He’s mad he was caught. His first instinct is to turn it around on you because that’s all he can do. Had his behavior reflected that he was in a committed relationship with a woman he respected, literally none of this would have happened. My guess is that he’s always had his options open and one foot out the door.
They sound like they kind of deserve each other.
He knows why you want to break up. You never have to talk to him again. You don’t owe him closure, he’ll just use it to keep you on the line. Tell him it’s over in text. “I’m done. It’s over. Never contact me again.”
Block him on everything. Do not reply if he finds a way to text you on social media/phone.
You don’t need permission to do this. You just do it. It’s a long time coming. Nothing you say to him will fix him obviously so stop holding on to that fantasy it will work out. Just do it.
Girl……
I'm still in shock, I asked him to leave, I would never cheat on or tolerate cheaters in any sense.
You know what to do.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not a crime to be lied to by somone else and want to think the best of them. But you'd be foolish to take him back after his crocodile tears episode.
Is there any way at all this is salvageable?
With respect, I think you already answered that question.
Once trust and respect is thoroughly gone from a relationship, IT'S OVER.
WARNING! Be very aware of Hoovering and Love-Bombing tactics from him. Be very skeptical of his attention-seeking drama and attempts to get back together.
People who are worth your time, respect your boundaries, are willing to accept a breakup, and are willing to accept that you don't want to see them in person. That's because they have the maturity to understand that being with somone who doesn't appreciate their presence, isn't a goid deal.
Scumbags see a breakup a some kind of interesting challenge or urgent problem they need to fix by sucking you back into their lives. Scumbags don't care how you personally feel about then. They can tell you exactly how you're supposed to feel about them later, like a Spokesmodel on Fox news.
Basically my 'bf' just an hour ago showed me his tinder 'as a joke' and showed me that he msged a girl before we dated and that was it.
This guy sounds about as bright as a sack of rocks.
I scrolled down and literally saw messages dated a week ago. We've been together for 7 months now, we were exclusive pretty much since the first date.
There's no “we” here. You were always exclusive. He never was.
He kept saying that he'd “never ask any girl out” that it was all just for “validation”.
This guy is a lying, smug-faced little shit.
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, waddles like a duck, and hangs out in ponds, what is it?
to which he replied “no” he was literally sweating and then crying etc etc.
Where was his remorse, trepidation, and crocodile tears before he got caught Eh? I'm not seeing much anxiety or remorse up until you told him off.
Seems like he was happy as a clam up until you confronted him. Then all he can do is whine and sob and shake like 3 year old caught stealing his sister's toys.
Ohshitohshit,what's happening? I don't understand, it sounds like she might be breaking up with me? An exceptional nice guy like me? Why is she doing this?
Something is seriously wrong with this kid. He's got some real emotional processing deficits. Showed you this tinder as a “joke”? Huge lack of empathy there.
It really sucks because I never in a million years imagined he'd be the kind of guy that would do that.
A common trait of cheating manipulative liars is, for example, a smooth and cheerful lack of concern about lying in their resume. This means they don't experience anxiety about being discovered that they are not whom they claim to be. Therefore they can lie about who they are and pretend to be someone different with little effort.
I'm not really a people person, I have a few select people I like and they get me. I'm married and would never do this to my husband and he wouldn't do it to me either.
Friends should really understand you are tired from working all day and not feeling well. I don't understand the “they are guests in our house, so bend over backwards for them” mentality. I do have very close friends, we all understand life happens. If someone feels slighted, they talk it out at a later time.
Maybe sit down with your wife and go over expectations when you come home from work and someone is there. It might be something like she gives you a text heads up so you are aware. That way, you can say “hello, good to see you, sorry I'm tired from work/not feeling well so I will excuse myself, you both have fun”. That seems a bit much to me but maybe this will help get you thinking on a compromise, but your wife needs to not take this so seriously in my opinion.
This troll post is definitely fake as fuck. Each sentence is more batfuck crazy than the last.
I don't even want to feel that way, she is attractive, but I still don't think about her in a sexual sense, it's just like, she'd gotten imprinted on my mind, it's super weird.
I got my own life stuff I need to do, and the feelings come in the way, it's just, I can't get her out of my head, so I didn't know if I should act up on it, or not, that was the confusing part, but you made it clearer and easier.
As far as I understand, you mean that I should let things happen on their own, without forcing anything, and I totally agree, I just needed someone to tell me that, so thank you a lot!
How long removed from the abuse and today is she?
First of all, a reaction this paranoid and unhinged suggests he's probably cheating on you and projecting. Secondly even if he isn't do you really want to remain in a relationship with someone whose grip on sanity is so feeble that all it takes is to see a post-it that says “for you” to make him completely lose his goddamned mind and start stalking and harassing you? What will be the next thing that sets him off? Because if you stay with him there is definitely going to be a next thing. And then another after that, and another.
There are men who go without sex. My partner waited for 3 years and never once even hinted at any sort of pressure or coercion. Your boyfriend is a disgusting human being for the way he treats you. Its serious and you would be putting yourself in danger to downplay it.
You are right way to make somebody not feel wanted or like they belong. Is the kid that can be very harmful.
She begged him not to fuck other women. He did it anyways despite her begging and being hurt. He does not care for her nor does he respect her.
This? This right here is a properly labeled bag of red flags, ma’am.
Best of luck! Remember, no one is going to look out for you as well as you will, so keep looking out for yourself.
Girl listen. Your worth, in his eyes, is determined by your physical appearance and ability to adhere to his ideal image of what he wants in a partner (physically). I think it’s an extremely shallow and pathetic standard. He’s made it abundantly clear that how you look is his main priority.
Is this really someone you want to grow old with? When you don’t look young anymore, are you okay with him not loving you? Does he really give a shit about what makes you tick, what makes you happy, or what makes you interesting? What does he like about you, besides what makes you sexually appealing?
It takes a lot of effort to find someone who likes you as a person instead of a wide. I promise it’s worth it.
Is this satire?
Because he is a loser. A woman his age with life experience smells his bs from a mile away. He’s dating a younger woman hoping she doesn’t have much experience and self esteem and can’t detect his bull
If you’re breaking up over a baby’s name, this makes me wonder what other stronger incompatibilities there are. But anyway it seems that your boyfriend may need some kind of counselling and therapy to navigate why he feels so strongly about this issue.
While I still think this isn’t about the name, here are some possible compromise solutions (which you should consider ONLY after your boyfriend gets help or starts to act reasonably by understanding baby naming isn’t a unilateral decision):
1 – Use the brother’s name as first name but with a completely different nickname than what the brother was called (e.g. “Christopher” called “Kit”, all-purpose nicknames like Buddy, Ace, Sonny, his initials…)
2 – Use a version of the brother’s name : e.g. If he was called Jacob, use James; instead of John, Ivan, Evan, Ian, etc. Or a female version of the name (Charles > Charlotte, William > Willa…)
3 – Some other kind of tribute to the brother… same initials, favourite place, favourite song,
4 – Give the child your surname and use your boyfriend’s / his brother’s surname as a first name. This way the kid is named not ONLY after his uncle, but also after his paternal family. (Anyway, in this situation I would seriously encourage you to give your child your own surname, even if it’s hyphenated).
For more help, you could cross post this to r/namenerds. But I repeat… this isn’t about a baby name.
What surname are you using for the baby? Maybe a possible compromise is that you use the brother’s
Correction: ex boyfriend. This guy is absolute trash. Sexual coercion is not ok and you will absolutely regret it if you do it and may end up with some serious mental, emotional and psychological issues in the future. Tell him what an absolute dick he's being and block him.
Everyone has their preferences
Not everyone likes weed and alcohol
Also, you should leave him
The threat is a big No
take out the trash, have fun on your trip and seeing your best friend. do you want your life to spiral down until he has full control over you and you're 35, regretting everything? nah, there's plenty of people out there who are normal and wouldn't have a problem with their partner seeing their best friend or having a girls trip.
the dude needs therapy to get past his insecurity in relationships. I'm sorry he's had bad relationships but, he needs to fix himself, not control you. you're aware of it, get out now.
So, essentially, he's a controlling, insecure, misogynistic POS.
OP, forget him. Go on your holiday. See your best friend. You have those drinks on the beach and you enjoy TF out of them!!!
I’m pretty shocked how many people find this a deal breaker. Not being in the know hurts – that’s understandable. But what she did with who, before she was with you, really isn’t your business, in my opinion. Also let’s not forget she was probably 18/19/20 at the time. Horny and making rash decisions on who to sleep with. Typical for that age, new freedom in college, all that.
I understand you wanting to have a conversation about it since it was brought up by the friend, but I don’t think you should begrudge her of her past.
Ah yes. If only every woman who’s been murdered by a man would have just kicked him in the correct area ?
/s, obviously. Please work on your ignorance
and she lots her shit. Threw things
This is abuse.
Are you sure you want to marry this lady? She sounds unhinged.
It’s hot too because I honestly believe that his friend has previously encouraged a relationship between him and his sister :/ so it’s like other people have already “ship” them together as a couple before i popped into the picture