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YTA, a million over. I hope she leaves you.
he wanted one sided poly
NO. That's absolute BS. It's just cheating with your consent. Or does he tell you about every partner beforehand and asks if you are okay with it? I bet not.
his love is the best love I will ever have
Now that's just straight up manipulation. Nope, nope, nopity nope. There's no such thing as “best love” or “better love”. He wants to eat the whole fucking cake instead of just one piece. He keeps you AND his side chicks.
it will ‘heal my abandonment’
The fuck it won't. You know what can help you with that? A therapist. Someone who actually knows how to professionally deal with abandonment issues. Not cheating with a pass.
Am I misinterpreting how messed up that is ?
No. It's very messed up and you should leave him.