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No prob.
In that case, could she just be jealous of your bf? She's had the top spot in your life for two years and now some dude is coming along and potentially taking that spot from her.
Is she the jealous type? And finally, I have to ask this, is there any possibility that she's into you? Like are you straight and she's bi or gay?
If none of these are a possibility, I still stand by my previous advice. Recite exactly what you said in the last paragraph of your post and see how she reacts.
It's not like you've got many options here. You either keep seeing her in this casual, uncommitted way or you stop seeing her. There's not much more to it than that.
You describe several concrete steps you have taken in order to compromise and try to meet your girlfriend halfway on this issue. What steps have your girlfriend taken to do the same for you?
You can't “balance both of your needs” when your girlfriend's need apparently is to have everything of you all the time because there's no balance in that. You already spend the majority of your time together, and it sounds like a lot of that time is proper quality time where you try to have fun and connect as a couple, so what is it that she actually needs more of in the relationship?
The relationship doesn't seem to be lacking in that regard, so what she needs is probably completely unrelated, and that's not something you can do anything about unless she's willing to at least acknowledge that.
So he should understand better than anyone else. Remember that you, the groom, and the rest of the roommates all went through that period together. The only guy who wasn't there was the selfish guy.
If he doesn't know the full extent, then at least let the groom know how you feel. But feel it out first! Tell him that you're really surprised he invited him and maybe ask why? If the groom says that HE wants to reconcile, then respect his wishes, but if the groom says, “Ehh, felt bad for not inviting him”, then I think you can mention how you're really feeling.