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Sharing a BNB, doesn't mean they all are staying in the same rooms. And if he knew she has a problem with any kind of ex being around, I don't really blame him for not asking her to go, but at the same time I do because it MAYBE would've eased her mind all. I'm playing devils advocate here, to many of the other people responding are playing the kiss ass role. I like to look at things from different angles…..maybe other people should try it more often
You should really get out of this situation. This is how women die. And you don't want to endanger your child
I see. After thinking about it, it doesn't change my opinion of you needing couples counselling, though.
Your lack of trust in your wife's statement obviously comes from a wealth of experience then. However, you are also contradicting yourself – you said you believe your wife “genuinely thinks it's not that big of a deal” and then, same sentence, “it's much bigger than she is willing to admit”. The second statement implies that your wife is aware of it being a bigger issue and just not admitting to it. In the end, whatever the case, you lack trust in her judgement and words – for good reasons – but that alone, the topic of children aside, is unhealthy for a marriage. Every healthy relationship begins with trust and ends when trust is gone.
The “we”-statement issue sounds like a separate communication issue which also belongs into couples counselling. Definitely an interesting observation, though, that she seemingly tends to override your opinion with “we”-statements (outwardly presenting you two as a unit), but completely stopped being a team in front of others when it comes to the topic of children. Yeah, you two really, really need counselling badly. A dealbreaker topic, communication issues and trust issues are one hell of a triple-bomb threatening to blow up a marriage.