If your sister is escaping an abusive relationship and your gf cannot put her personal dislike of her for a time to allow you to support her then your gf is not a good person
If you took the normal marriage vows before friends, family, each other and God, they clearly state, “forsaking all others”. It does not say ” forsaking all others of the opposite sex or who identify as such.” The fact that she may be bisexual means she just has twice as many individuals with which to forsake her vows. Whether emotional, physical or both, when you give to another that which was pledged only to you, it is clearly cheating and the worse possible thing a partner in marriage can do. She can justify it all she wants, but cheating is cheating and no different if you did the same with another woman. If you don't give your approval, it is cheating. Do not even hint at giving her an OK.
Tell her she can define it however she sees fit, but you have drawn a clear boundary. Any form of emotional or physical sex with another individual will be defined as infidelity and immediately lead to divorce. Tell her you are meeting with a lawyer to draw up both a divorce document and a post nuptial, which clearly defines both emotional and physical infidelity. It will apply to both of you and that in event of infidelity leading to divorce, the wayward walks away with nothing.
Tell her that given she has brought it up and so adamant, that you know she already has someone in mind if in fact she has not already cheated and trying to seek approval to avoid the consequences of being caught. Tell her given this, she will have the choice of which document to sign. That in choosing the post-nuptial with such a significant financial penalty will prove her commitment and provide some assurance to him and her of fidelity. Refusing to sign one or the other is not an option and choosing divorce or not signing the post-nuptial tells you all he needs to know.
Let her know she will have 1 week to make a decision. If none is made, she will be served and you will begin looking for a woman committed to fidelity and building a family together. I feel for you and seeing the lawyer ASAP is a great move on your part to be in control of this situation.
Ten years ago, during my son's 7th year of marriage with 3 kids under age 6, his wife had an affair with her boss. Long story short, they successfully reconciled into a great marriage. The key was having her served to awaken her from affair fog. When she begged for a second chance, he made sure she had to endure a list of consequences, one of which included the post-nuptial, to prove her commitment. Rug sweeping never works and is essentially a green light for a repeat. I have a 2 page write-up on the details of his experience and reconciliation plan. If you feel it could help provide some ideas, chat request me and I will send it to you. Also available to just chat or lend an ear.
If your sister is escaping an abusive relationship and your gf cannot put her personal dislike of her for a time to allow you to support her then your gf is not a good person
Without finding out what her job is, there is no way to tell.
But your examples are outliers, not the norm, so again if she’s not in an industry like that then there is no reason to have a meeting at 10pm.
If you took the normal marriage vows before friends, family, each other and God, they clearly state, “forsaking all others”. It does not say ” forsaking all others of the opposite sex or who identify as such.” The fact that she may be bisexual means she just has twice as many individuals with which to forsake her vows. Whether emotional, physical or both, when you give to another that which was pledged only to you, it is clearly cheating and the worse possible thing a partner in marriage can do. She can justify it all she wants, but cheating is cheating and no different if you did the same with another woman. If you don't give your approval, it is cheating. Do not even hint at giving her an OK.
Tell her she can define it however she sees fit, but you have drawn a clear boundary. Any form of emotional or physical sex with another individual will be defined as infidelity and immediately lead to divorce. Tell her you are meeting with a lawyer to draw up both a divorce document and a post nuptial, which clearly defines both emotional and physical infidelity. It will apply to both of you and that in event of infidelity leading to divorce, the wayward walks away with nothing.
Tell her that given she has brought it up and so adamant, that you know she already has someone in mind if in fact she has not already cheated and trying to seek approval to avoid the consequences of being caught. Tell her given this, she will have the choice of which document to sign. That in choosing the post-nuptial with such a significant financial penalty will prove her commitment and provide some assurance to him and her of fidelity. Refusing to sign one or the other is not an option and choosing divorce or not signing the post-nuptial tells you all he needs to know.
Let her know she will have 1 week to make a decision. If none is made, she will be served and you will begin looking for a woman committed to fidelity and building a family together. I feel for you and seeing the lawyer ASAP is a great move on your part to be in control of this situation.
Ten years ago, during my son's 7th year of marriage with 3 kids under age 6, his wife had an affair with her boss. Long story short, they successfully reconciled into a great marriage. The key was having her served to awaken her from affair fog. When she begged for a second chance, he made sure she had to endure a list of consequences, one of which included the post-nuptial, to prove her commitment. Rug sweeping never works and is essentially a green light for a repeat. I have a 2 page write-up on the details of his experience and reconciliation plan. If you feel it could help provide some ideas, chat request me and I will send it to you. Also available to just chat or lend an ear.
Please let us know how it turns out.