28 thoughts on “Ranyastephens on-line webcams for YOU!”
Thanks for the your kind words. I'm trying to thing about personal responsibility as well, but the issue that I'm easily manipulated with a guilt, so these threats works extremely well for now. Trying to address this issue currently.
Who the hell keeps a shirtless pic of their ex on their phone wtf. Listen, you definitely have some issues to deal with on your own, but I honestly dont think this relationship is something you want to waste your time on. She is just looking for someone that has money so that you can pay shit for her and so she isnt a single mother.
Your ADHD spouse who has been honest with you about how he can best support your wants and needs has told you he’s willing to put in the effort to make you happy. You’re shooting down every logical person on this sub who is telling you that giving him the help he’s asking for is going to lead to more of what you want.
HIS ADHD does not work the way YOU want it to. It is literally preventing his brain from thinking the way yours does, and you expect him to use willpower to overcome this? Again, I can appreciate how this post might not speak two the 16 years you’ve been together and the disappointment or stress that stems from that, but I could not honestly sit here and tell my partner his effort isn’t good enough because it doesn’t meet my standard, after I’ve refused to help him in the way he’s asked. So I’ll ask you: what do you wanna hear from this sub + community? You asked for advice, you’re being called out, and you’re not listening because it’s not what you want to hear. ADHD causes short attention spans, that’s what the meds are for. It comes across as if our short term memory is fucked or as if we don’t listen, that’s not the case, our brains just don’t retain this information. You say his ADHD is untreated – so you’re literally asking him to do something that he is mentally incapable of doing and then insinuating he’s lazy. Look, idk if he’s not on meds cause y’all can’t afford it or he’s unemployed or maybe he doesn’t believe in meds, but you’re literally setting your spouse up for failure because it’s more important for you to dig your heels in the dirt. God, is this what relationships are in 2022? We don’t compromise or meet each other half way anymore? We nurse ego and only accept things the way we want them? Yo, if this is your hill to do on, so be it, but this is an advice sub. Don’t come here and ask for advice or help and then write off anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Your spouse asked for help to love you as you want to be loved. You don’t want to help. That makes this a YOU problem. So either you help or you stay unhappy. Take it or leave it.
So why are you still giving her your time,love and attention if she won’t even look at you the same way. I know love can make you blind but you gotta get your head out your ass and see what they actions are also telling you and she clearly doesn’t care for you. Cut contact and work on yourself man and don’t let someone walk all over you
Would you mind explaining what kind of disability you have? Just so we can get a better picture of the situation. I'm very sorry for what you're going through
You had issues in the past? You have been dating 7 months! If it's hard now, during the honeymoon phase when it's supposed to be easiest….. Just breakup and get it over with.
He sounds like trouble based on his treatment of you. I get that you want to be supportive but that doesn't mean you should let him act abusive and controlling towards you.
You aren't together, he should be aware that who you date is entirely up to you. It may be best for you to not maintain contact honestly.
I would ask your gf's friend if she has permission to have that picture and be showing it around the others. If they argue, I would make the same statement but switch it around “oh then it must be ok for men to distribute intimate images of women without their consent.. even though there's laws regarding it”.
How do you know? It's a big problem with men his age (and younger). Coming in contact with hardcore porn at a too young age can cause your sexuality to develop in unhealthy ways, e.g. normalising the objectification of women. Just go visit 4 Chan, there's million of men like OPs partner who collect and share nudes/porn of women (without their consent) and see nothing wrong with that. Pretty sure there's a vile subreddit on here too. Note that this is no excuse, just a possible reason.
2) Get your resumé out and get hunting for new employment.
3) Next time she calls tell her, “I got laid off. However, I'm eligible for unemployment and my first check should arrive in X days. I've also got my resumé updated and have an appointment with a headhunter/have sent out X resumés/have done XYZ to look for new employment.”
Tell her the bad news, but follow it up IMMEDIATELY with steps you've proactively taken to ameliorate the financial burden of your unemployment.
additionally I still find it mad disrespectful to comment on the sexy top and follow it up with the “stealing you” remark. I new something was off the moment she didn't greet my like normal
You’re right, I just didn’t know if what he said was just trying to hurt me or make me feel any other type of way. I do plan on getting healing fully because I am really regretful about the way I behaved during our relationship.
You just don't seem to understand BPD very much at all, and BPD/bipolar was a common diagnosis for women for a long time. But many traits required for BPD to be considered are not things that people with autism would do. Dissociation is a broad symptom that can be present due to a variety of factors. It's not really a symptom of autism.
It makes me very unhappy to hear of the “autism community” claiming people as their own. Both me and my partner have dealt with recruitment attempts, despite professionals disagreeing. The only thing I can think of half this aggressive is Mormons baptizing people after they die. If people can relate so heavily to a character with BPD, it's possible they have BPD (as she was likely written at least in part by someone with the disorder). They don't get to rewrite reality so that autism is the only truth. I have found this, unfortunately, to be the case, because this model of autism is a worldview rather than an actual diagnosis (there is zero evidence that an awkward nerd with addiction issues shares anything of note genetically with a high needs nonverbal person who can never on-line independently, absolutely none, and many people who have sought the dx as adults do so in the absence of developmental delays and see multiple doctors until someone gives them the assessment they want). I don't buy into this worldview. I wish the community would leave everyone else alone unless they've paid in to be a member.
she isn't capable bc people like you enable her. trust me when i say, as soon as she is out she will either figure out how to make it on her own or find another sucker to leach from. with the way she seems from your post, it's probably the latter. she will be fine
So I’m fully aware that she’s not respectful- if you read the post you’ll see that. I’m saying I don’t tolerate disrespect and have never been in a situation like this. If this was about a guy instead of a lesbian, I wouldn’t even have posted a turning because the right thing to do would be obvious
So to you it’s a red flag that your girlfriend “is always trying to hang out”? What exactly do you consider a relationship to be? Spending time together is kind of the point. I do agree that one month is probably too soon for her to tell you that she loves you. But I’m not totally sure that you actually want a relationship from the way you’re talking.
Thanks for the your kind words. I'm trying to thing about personal responsibility as well, but the issue that I'm easily manipulated with a guilt, so these threats works extremely well for now. Trying to address this issue currently.
I see your point, but yes that would be very uncomfortable for me
This is child abuse. Talk to your school's guidance counselor.
Who the hell keeps a shirtless pic of their ex on their phone wtf. Listen, you definitely have some issues to deal with on your own, but I honestly dont think this relationship is something you want to waste your time on. She is just looking for someone that has money so that you can pay shit for her and so she isnt a single mother.
Your ADHD spouse who has been honest with you about how he can best support your wants and needs has told you he’s willing to put in the effort to make you happy. You’re shooting down every logical person on this sub who is telling you that giving him the help he’s asking for is going to lead to more of what you want.
HIS ADHD does not work the way YOU want it to. It is literally preventing his brain from thinking the way yours does, and you expect him to use willpower to overcome this? Again, I can appreciate how this post might not speak two the 16 years you’ve been together and the disappointment or stress that stems from that, but I could not honestly sit here and tell my partner his effort isn’t good enough because it doesn’t meet my standard, after I’ve refused to help him in the way he’s asked. So I’ll ask you: what do you wanna hear from this sub + community? You asked for advice, you’re being called out, and you’re not listening because it’s not what you want to hear. ADHD causes short attention spans, that’s what the meds are for. It comes across as if our short term memory is fucked or as if we don’t listen, that’s not the case, our brains just don’t retain this information. You say his ADHD is untreated – so you’re literally asking him to do something that he is mentally incapable of doing and then insinuating he’s lazy. Look, idk if he’s not on meds cause y’all can’t afford it or he’s unemployed or maybe he doesn’t believe in meds, but you’re literally setting your spouse up for failure because it’s more important for you to dig your heels in the dirt. God, is this what relationships are in 2022? We don’t compromise or meet each other half way anymore? We nurse ego and only accept things the way we want them? Yo, if this is your hill to do on, so be it, but this is an advice sub. Don’t come here and ask for advice or help and then write off anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Your spouse asked for help to love you as you want to be loved. You don’t want to help. That makes this a YOU problem. So either you help or you stay unhappy. Take it or leave it.
INFO: Does your mom want her there?
Please do, an attorney will tell you exactly what you need and what you can do . Don't let him get away with this, good luck
So why are you still giving her your time,love and attention if she won’t even look at you the same way. I know love can make you blind but you gotta get your head out your ass and see what they actions are also telling you and she clearly doesn’t care for you. Cut contact and work on yourself man and don’t let someone walk all over you
Would you mind explaining what kind of disability you have? Just so we can get a better picture of the situation. I'm very sorry for what you're going through
You had issues in the past? You have been dating 7 months! If it's hard now, during the honeymoon phase when it's supposed to be easiest….. Just breakup and get it over with.
He sounds like trouble based on his treatment of you. I get that you want to be supportive but that doesn't mean you should let him act abusive and controlling towards you.
You aren't together, he should be aware that who you date is entirely up to you. It may be best for you to not maintain contact honestly.
All of this!!!!!
I would ask your gf's friend if she has permission to have that picture and be showing it around the others. If they argue, I would make the same statement but switch it around “oh then it must be ok for men to distribute intimate images of women without their consent.. even though there's laws regarding it”.
Personally, I don't think I could get past that.
How do you know? It's a big problem with men his age (and younger). Coming in contact with hardcore porn at a too young age can cause your sexuality to develop in unhealthy ways, e.g. normalising the objectification of women. Just go visit 4 Chan, there's million of men like OPs partner who collect and share nudes/porn of women (without their consent) and see nothing wrong with that. Pretty sure there's a vile subreddit on here too. Note that this is no excuse, just a possible reason.
1) Get yourself on unemployment.
2) Get your resumé out and get hunting for new employment.
3) Next time she calls tell her, “I got laid off. However, I'm eligible for unemployment and my first check should arrive in X days. I've also got my resumé updated and have an appointment with a headhunter/have sent out X resumés/have done XYZ to look for new employment.”
Tell her the bad news, but follow it up IMMEDIATELY with steps you've proactively taken to ameliorate the financial burden of your unemployment.
Do they still work for the same company?
No. Tell him you aren’t going and if he doesn’t let this go he can pay for the damn babysitter.
What? He pays all the bills and she sits around doing fuckall, not hard to clean for him is it
additionally I still find it mad disrespectful to comment on the sexy top and follow it up with the “stealing you” remark. I new something was off the moment she didn't greet my like normal
You’re right, I just didn’t know if what he said was just trying to hurt me or make me feel any other type of way. I do plan on getting healing fully because I am really regretful about the way I behaved during our relationship.
You just don't seem to understand BPD very much at all, and BPD/bipolar was a common diagnosis for women for a long time. But many traits required for BPD to be considered are not things that people with autism would do. Dissociation is a broad symptom that can be present due to a variety of factors. It's not really a symptom of autism.
It makes me very unhappy to hear of the “autism community” claiming people as their own. Both me and my partner have dealt with recruitment attempts, despite professionals disagreeing. The only thing I can think of half this aggressive is Mormons baptizing people after they die. If people can relate so heavily to a character with BPD, it's possible they have BPD (as she was likely written at least in part by someone with the disorder). They don't get to rewrite reality so that autism is the only truth. I have found this, unfortunately, to be the case, because this model of autism is a worldview rather than an actual diagnosis (there is zero evidence that an awkward nerd with addiction issues shares anything of note genetically with a high needs nonverbal person who can never on-line independently, absolutely none, and many people who have sought the dx as adults do so in the absence of developmental delays and see multiple doctors until someone gives them the assessment they want). I don't buy into this worldview. I wish the community would leave everyone else alone unless they've paid in to be a member.
she isn't capable bc people like you enable her. trust me when i say, as soon as she is out she will either figure out how to make it on her own or find another sucker to leach from. with the way she seems from your post, it's probably the latter. she will be fine
My husband has no idea what my work meeting schedule is. Because he doesn’t work with me.
He’d be welcome to look at it, but he doesn’t care, so never has.
I’m not eating with them “to bond,” we’re eating because it’s lunchtime.
Have you only ever worked at one place?
Go wrong in what way?
Let people choose the charity they want to (from your list) as their gift.
Do cats have paperwork?
If so… her late fathers name will be on the paperwork. Making it clearly hers.
So I’m fully aware that she’s not respectful- if you read the post you’ll see that. I’m saying I don’t tolerate disrespect and have never been in a situation like this. If this was about a guy instead of a lesbian, I wouldn’t even have posted a turning because the right thing to do would be obvious
So to you it’s a red flag that your girlfriend “is always trying to hang out”? What exactly do you consider a relationship to be? Spending time together is kind of the point. I do agree that one month is probably too soon for her to tell you that she loves you. But I’m not totally sure that you actually want a relationship from the way you’re talking.