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You’re not part of their bridal party. Just sit back, celebrate them, and don’t plan or take on any of the burden.
But don’t bother to confront them.
I’ve dated a surgeon, a professor and a veterinarian. All 3 women developed inflated egos as their careers progressed and eventually decided they were “too good” for me.
As a man, a woman’s career should be the least of your concern. All that matters is that you love her, that she is kind and honest with integrity, and that you have similar values and goals.
Work through your anger issues…you have children that need you…happy…not angry and bitter…life is too short to hold resentment…some things you need to let go…BTW congrats on the birth of your babies…must be very tough a newborn and a toddler
Tell him he needs to pull his weight or to leave
If you want a laugh google what Charles Darwin said about women and their intellectual capacity compared to men. I have wondered why this element of Darwin's work rarely gets mentioned yet his work on evolution is so revered. Any takers?
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Na
Through all this you have not expressed a single regret of how this affected your ex. You have not said you cared or love him.
It’s all about how you feel and how you were hurt by the new guy. Guess what? Anyone pursuing in a relationship or who is in one while pursuing is toxic. It shows a lack of empathy or human kindness that is known in toxic relationships.
This has to me thinking this previous relationship was one sided. He cared more, he loved more and this wasn’t a mistake but more you wanting to go back to him for something he can provide you.
Leave the bloke alone and I would really get therapy to delve into why you felt the need to leave a partner who cared about you for someone so much older than you.
You need to be yourself. Do not change to try to compete with an Ex. They are an ex for a reason. He may value safe and secure more than anything. I asked my now husband when we were dating to not talk about his ex because I knew my competitive nature would come out and I wanted him to get to know me for who I was, not a person trying to be better than his ex. 15 years later now and he still doesn't talk about her, because it doesn't matter.
I know, I've been there. He's broken up with you though, and having been in your position, the only cure is time and space. Best of luck to you OP, do your best, we're rooting for you!
It seems pretty obvious to me that she isn't actually interested in you (unaffectionate around you, not sexually aroused by you, doesn't seem to remember anything about you, more interested in her friends than you, etc.). You should take all of those things as a sign that this relationship is not for you.
I recommend going for someone who is closer to your age and location. And whose native tongue you speak fluently.
This happened w my bf before and I felt awful, we were playing around and my reflexes came thru and I slapped him in the face – I apologized literally 0.5 seconds after & I felt so bad – glad to know this happens w other ppl and their reflexes ?
A cat running across a keyboard could write up a better story than this
It wasn't on purpose, so you didn't do anything wrong. As you said: you weren't that interested. If the guy had been more interested, he could have sent you another couple of messages. The fact that he didn't send any more messages indicates that he apparently wasn't that interested either.
No harm done, but you should think about not judging yourself so harshly. Some people are very afraid of what others think about them, so they pretend to act a certain way to gain approval. This is something that you want to avoid doing by learning to accept yourself as a person and be OK with the fact that you (like everyone else) is not perfect, and you don't need to act perfect in order to find acceptance and love.
Just stop asking him.
Sounds like you are now more aware of his preferences, so will probably take them into consideration when dressing.
You held off for 2.5 years already. You recognize that your wife is sexually traumatized. In the same way that you originally recognized that the marriage wouldn't change much in your relationship morally, it was your mistake to expect the marriage to magically change your traumatized wife from a naive virgin into a voracious man eater.
Speaking as a former Christian turned atheist, it takes years, maybe even a decade to complete deprogram yourself. And I was given every reason to deprogram myself, and if I intended to stay alive in this world, I needed to walk the razors edge of morally justified existence from being one of the good guys, to becoming one of the good guys. I recognize that at many points I could have died, or, lost faith in my desire to be alive. I don't recommend you put your wife in a position to question her morality as hot as I have, but, conversely, you can't expect her to change as quickly as I did. And even I took many hard years to fully and truly change.
This is going to take a lot of time, maybe several years. Sexual trauma is not easy to deal with, especially within a religious framework.
It's going to take a lot more than what reddit can offer. You should seek professional advice. Even I have a psychiatrist.
Is this the same bf you've had for 5 years? You think he's a mama's boy, and it seems your family didn't like him. Now he's basically telling you he's a misogynist. He's emotionally unstable and can't support you financially. Let me guess: he wants you to submit to him so he can be the man of the house? Girl, this relationship sounds horrible. Don't put up with a garbage bf out of fear of being single. Yes, you've been together a long time but you matured and he didn't.
I bet she would find it so normal and great if her bf went everyday after work to a pub.
And if she had a problem with that you wouldnt call it controlling and insecure, you would call it a normal request from a loving wife wanting a responsible man at home and spending time with her like couples do in a normal healthy relationship.
He knows he is hurting you. He already understands this.
He is deliberately doing it. He is an abuser who has isolated you from your friends and family, and who made your fail your degree (you says “it's not his fault” but it 100% is). Now he is telling you you cannot work without his “permission.” He wants you vulnerable and dependent on him, because then (he thinks) you can't get away from him no matter how badly he treats you.
You need to get out. He is targeting you for abuse and no amount of explaining you try to do will get him to change. He knows full well what he is doing and the effect it has on you.
Run far, run fast. Leave before it gets worse – because it inevitably will. And for God's sake do NOT have a child with this man.
She may have come clean because someone else may have threatened to tell you. I like u/dancing_chinese_kid ‘s advice. Take her phone and text him from it.
I mean well, even if he comes back you would be a chump to let him. Move on and close the door