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OP, i’m begging you to give this relationship a break and see how you feel. my fiancé constantly tells me how much he loves me body, and despite the fact that my weight has fluctuated, i don’t fit into clothes the same, etc he has never lost that enthusiasm. that is what someone who loves you does. yes, there will always be someone who has a “better” body than you but if you chase that you’re not gonna be a person in a few years, you’ll just be silicone.
i know you said you’ve wanted this procedure for a long but you still have another puberty to go through (typically happens between 19-23) and so any surgery done now likely won’t stay looking the same in literally just a few years. you say you’ve called therapist’s office but at this point don’t just call ones who take your insurance. if you’re willing to spend money on cosmetic surgery then at least spend a few hundred for an out of pocket session with a therapist who specializes in body image disorders. i am sure your body is much much more attractive than your boyfriend makes you feel and you’re giving him way too much control by letting him by the motivating factor for a surgery that could cost you your life!
OP i wish you the best of luck and some peace of mind. and i say this on behalf of all of these comments: dump his ass!
He's acting this way because he can.
Why do you think he's going out with someone ten years younger? Because he knows someone his age would just be like “k bye” whereas you're stressing about why he's not replying to you.
It is a little weird for her to mute herself etc if she's never done that around other friends before. However, you could be feeling apprehensive about the laughing/muting thing because you already feel taken aback by not knowing she was staying there.
I'm not sure if it's normal to stay at a friends place when you go on a work trip, but maybe someone else can weigh in about that?
Don't approach the situation from the worst mindset/possibility yet.
I'd say something like; “Hey, in the past you've let me know when you're staying with people, and I really appreciate that communication. I was a bit taken aback that you didn't this time. Is there any reason for that?”
Get her a vibrator.
He may have a genuine problem, whether that's a low sensory tolerance or something psychological, but if he doesn't do this with anyone else, there's an element of choice going on, or he's regressing into a parent/child thing with you (somewhat normal in a serious relationship in your early 20s). He needs to see either a doctor or a therapist: his choice.