You need a therapist because your mental health is in the toilet, your boyfriend is borderline emotionally abusive and intentionally triggering your mental health, you have an untreated eating disorder and instead of doing anything to learn true comping mechanisms or self help, you are saving up to go under the knife for a surgery that has an unbelievably high rate of fatality and complication as well as poor procedure result.
You are not okay. You are struggling BECAUSE of the boyfriend, NOT with the boyfriend.
This is not love. This is not respect.
This is you, mentally struggling, and clinging to a shitty and toxic person because you are scared to be alone.
You are basing your entire sense of self worth off of this person's opinion of you. And not having that opinion, even if it's a shitty opinion, feels scary because you don't have a good opinion of yourself.
You have to learn to love and respect yourself. Nothing is going to get better until you do. And you need therapy to help you get there.
I know you don't want to think badly of your boyfriend. But the truth is, he isn't even doing the bare minimum. Actions speak louder than words. He goes out of his way to look better to your family, but actively does his very best to torment you, bring you down, ignore you, betray you, and make you feel less then. He triggers your eating disorder and intentionally lowers your self esteem.
You can make whatever choices you want to make for yourself. But before you decide to go into a surgery, please speak with a therapist. You won't lose anything by talking to a professional.
Too bad. And yes, there are kids involved, so maybe stop ruining their lives with an abusive asshole and actually do something good for them like getting the hell out.
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I say this with love and compassion OP.
You need a therapist because your mental health is in the toilet, your boyfriend is borderline emotionally abusive and intentionally triggering your mental health, you have an untreated eating disorder and instead of doing anything to learn true comping mechanisms or self help, you are saving up to go under the knife for a surgery that has an unbelievably high rate of fatality and complication as well as poor procedure result.
You are not okay. You are struggling BECAUSE of the boyfriend, NOT with the boyfriend.
This is not love. This is not respect.
This is you, mentally struggling, and clinging to a shitty and toxic person because you are scared to be alone.
You are basing your entire sense of self worth off of this person's opinion of you. And not having that opinion, even if it's a shitty opinion, feels scary because you don't have a good opinion of yourself.
You have to learn to love and respect yourself. Nothing is going to get better until you do. And you need therapy to help you get there.
I know you don't want to think badly of your boyfriend. But the truth is, he isn't even doing the bare minimum. Actions speak louder than words. He goes out of his way to look better to your family, but actively does his very best to torment you, bring you down, ignore you, betray you, and make you feel less then. He triggers your eating disorder and intentionally lowers your self esteem.
You can make whatever choices you want to make for yourself. But before you decide to go into a surgery, please speak with a therapist. You won't lose anything by talking to a professional.
You sir are an ankle.
And an ankle is three feet lower than a cunt.
I don’t want to go though lawyers.
Too bad. And yes, there are kids involved, so maybe stop ruining their lives with an abusive asshole and actually do something good for them like getting the hell out.