the more to this story is he went into her phone and violated her privacy and used her making a random joke about a celebrity as an excuse to be mad at her and justify snooping through her phone. He's never had an issue with any other celebrity but he chooses the moment when he goes through her phone to be mad about a joke.
Honestly, you should not have to explain why it is insensitive and disrespectful. In the first instance, I would say that it should be obvious that he should not discuss your sex life in a public setting. Beyond that, just the fact that you find it uncomfortable should see him approaching the situation with a degree of privacy and consideration of your feelings that are completely absent here.
In short, your partner has just told you that the two of you are not equal in the relationship, that his desire are more important than yours, and that he will discuss your personal issues with other people in a public setting. That your boundaries and concerns are irrelevant in the face of his desire to have a public discussion with his friends at a time and place that he simply finds convenient. Also that his “solution” to the problem is not to change his behaviour, but to keep you ignorant in the future.
For me at least, that would be the end of the relationship.
My approach to this situation would be quite aggressive, scorched earth, and one that I recognize you are probably not emotionally ready for given the lack of support from the person you should be able to lean on most (your partner). Still, I will mention it because it might show you how another person with a different perspective would approach the topic. Note though, he will also blame you, call you all sorts of names from petty to vindictive, and while it *might* shed some light on your feelings, it is ultimately about being petty and treating him the way he has treated you.
So it basically involves hanging out with that group of friends, and finding a way to bring up the fact that his penis is a little on the small side, that he finishes a bit too quickly, and that his technique is lacking, all of which leaves you feeling unfulfilled. After all, he started the talk about your sex life, and he should have no objection to you also discussing your sex life, right?
I would not be ok with my boyfriend bringing his ex into our relationship. Doesn’t matter if they’re platonic now. I would tell him this and if he doesn’t agree then I’d move on.
the more to this story is he went into her phone and violated her privacy and used her making a random joke about a celebrity as an excuse to be mad at her and justify snooping through her phone. He's never had an issue with any other celebrity but he chooses the moment when he goes through her phone to be mad about a joke.
Honestly, you should not have to explain why it is insensitive and disrespectful. In the first instance, I would say that it should be obvious that he should not discuss your sex life in a public setting. Beyond that, just the fact that you find it uncomfortable should see him approaching the situation with a degree of privacy and consideration of your feelings that are completely absent here.
In short, your partner has just told you that the two of you are not equal in the relationship, that his desire are more important than yours, and that he will discuss your personal issues with other people in a public setting. That your boundaries and concerns are irrelevant in the face of his desire to have a public discussion with his friends at a time and place that he simply finds convenient. Also that his “solution” to the problem is not to change his behaviour, but to keep you ignorant in the future.
For me at least, that would be the end of the relationship.
My approach to this situation would be quite aggressive, scorched earth, and one that I recognize you are probably not emotionally ready for given the lack of support from the person you should be able to lean on most (your partner). Still, I will mention it because it might show you how another person with a different perspective would approach the topic. Note though, he will also blame you, call you all sorts of names from petty to vindictive, and while it *might* shed some light on your feelings, it is ultimately about being petty and treating him the way he has treated you.
So it basically involves hanging out with that group of friends, and finding a way to bring up the fact that his penis is a little on the small side, that he finishes a bit too quickly, and that his technique is lacking, all of which leaves you feeling unfulfilled. After all, he started the talk about your sex life, and he should have no objection to you also discussing your sex life, right?
I would not be ok with my boyfriend bringing his ex into our relationship. Doesn’t matter if they’re platonic now. I would tell him this and if he doesn’t agree then I’d move on.