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I bet of you join all those mental health dots together, and build in the childhood
You may find yourself at the feet of a personality disorder
If that is the case, it will explain the nuke level threats and pretending everything is fine soon after (Its a core trait in some cluster b disorders like bpd)
It will also mean this is going to be the rest of your life if you stay (unless she pulls the rug out and divorces you anyway)
Maybe have a read on “splitting” which may explain why she acts the way she does to her stepchild
Took me a long time to join the dots and the childhood together, once I did It taught me I had to leave, as I couldn't change her and she would never change
I could say waiting too long was my huge regret but that became insignificant when i realised my kids seeing this as normal, put them in therapy as screwed up adults that didnt learn what a stable home was, until I lived in one of my own
You cannot allow your children to be treated poorly, I had the problem they were also her kids
If they were not, I'd have been out decades earlier
I also read a book once where the MC was controlled by a mind reader who made him say truly awful things to his girlfriend in order to corrupt her (they wanted her on the “bad” side). Those seem to be the only appropriate times to do/say such things
Well I didn’t suggest that did I!!? Do u even want advice