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He moved into your place, then “lost his job”?
He spends hours out of the house with no explanation, then questions where you are?
He wants commitment but won’t commit?
He has a female “best friend” who flirts with him?
He’s not “being weird”. He’s being a twat.
Get out. He is the problem. Kick him out. Get an upgrade.
Exactly. Why else would the boyfriend hang out with the pedo? They both prey on underage girls, gross
It doesn't matter how mature you think you are, you lack maturity in life. You're inexperienced because of your age. He's been around the block a lot more than you could ever be (at this point in your life). Just because you act like a grown up doesn't mean your on his level of maturity. This is how older men manipulate younger women. He knows things you don't. He's experienced things you haven't, and he can use that to his advantage. For instance being nonchalant about flirting. Now he's hitting on the next available 18 yo. If he does this in front of you, imagine what he does behind your back.
Dude – run fast. This will only get worse for you. You are not a knight on a white horse, nor are you a therapist. You don’t owe her anything.
EU
Often it is about how does a person relate to social situations. If they react (as you show in other comments) by responding with non caring comments eg does not think about the feelings of others … then they are likely a sociopath and as such won’t care about you . If they talk about harming others then it becomes worse and more warning flags.
This is the best response OP please read this.
If this is how you react to a truly romantic gesture you need to see a therapist because if he finds out his best makes you uncomfortable he will leave.
Just say thanks, give him a bj and tell him you love him.
Well you are being very passive. It’s time to grow a backbone and give her and ultimatum. Is she doesn’t give you all you need to move on, then break up and ghost her
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I’ll try to simplify this
The lie detector says…
That was a lie.
Anyways… Yes, he is using you. His ONLY focus right now should be to find a job. Too lazy to work sat the factory, too lazy to make his CV, etc…
It is ok to support your partner whenthey are going through rough times; but only if they are doing everything they can to get back on track.
Your boyfriend is a bum.
His mother is there. She can look after him. You aren’t obligated to stay when he treats you like that.
There is a very good chance she is re-interpreting the experience to fit her own “I'm not guilty” narrative. Ask her if she wants to press charges and you'll probably sense really quickly how much she truly believes she was pressured.
Something I forgot to mention. I've been on a massive slump. I lost all apetite, I can't eat without feeling sick. Whenever my mind gets empty, I begin thinking about her. I've been getting home from work at 5pm, and I just go to sleep until 6am of the next day. I can't concentrate on my work without remembering how she used to keep me company sometimes and also help me. I don't feel like doing anything, just mindlessly scrolling TikTok/Shorts or going to sleep. I don't even know how I've gathered the strength to go to the gym at 5 am almost everyday, and it's the only thing I've been interested in doing.
I need to snap out of it, but I don't know how.
Still not something meritting this level of anxiety and desire to be involved.
I highly recommend you explore your individuality a lot more so that you don't push on other people's independence too much out of insecurity.
I hate to be a dick friend, but she's right. This is something you need to be working on.
Sounds like she's using you very hot.
Put your foot down, say no and stick to it
Maybe you can discuss a more fluid approach. I think having assigned chores or “duties” seems like a job or something less personal. Perhaps you can just agree beforehand that you would like to be open with one another if you start feeling like one is doing more than the other but make it a point to over communicate for a while so they can just be discussions and not confrontations for you.
Desperate much ?
How ironic is it then that she's what makes me happy, or at least used too.
As long as she can forgive the mistake, then im ok with working it out further. But not forgiving me, let alone calling me names will not be tolerated. If she cannot forgive and forget, then I must let her go.
Sorry, they are so unsupportive. Yes, the majority of young couples don’t work out. But I know plenty of successful marriages between high school sweethearts. I understand if there was something toxic about your dynamic if that made them hesitant for him to settle down young, but your age is not a good enough reason for them to ask you guys to break up.
Some people are just fortunate enough to find their person at your age and that shouldn’t be thrown away because a third party wants him to explore his options.
I wouldn’t worry about what they think as long as it didn’t get into your boyfriend’s head. In the scale of things, if you are together for the long haul, it won’t matter that there was some early trepidation by his parents. Many couples have weathered such things. This tension won’t always define you relationship with them either. Relationships evolve over time.
I’d recommend he move out as quickly as he can afford. That seems like it would solve some of those boundary issues (them acting like he should be home).
There is a LOT of bias against people with BPD so you really have to sift through that to find actual information and not scare tactics.
I've been in a long term monogamous relationship for 13 years and I have BPD. There have been lots of ups and downs. But considering she is already on medication I would say she has taken the steps forward to treat herself and therefore probably also knows the technics to keep her brain in check.
Do irrational thoughts pop up? Absolutely. But I am in control of nothing but myself and my reactions. Acting on irrational thoughts is a choice not an inevitability.
Why does he have to be the one proposing? Can't you do it, since you are so obsessed with it?
You shouldn't be paying half of something that isn't legally in your name.
On another note, it is very common for long term relationship to come to an end around the late 20s because one (or both) party realizes that eventhough they enjoyed the other person's company, they don't view this person as their partner for life. Basically they stayed in the relationship because nothing was really bad with it, but didn't project anything for the future really. They talked house and all because they were thinking of buying a house more than the person they are supposed to buy it with.
Before bringing it all up, get your name onto that car
What do you think he would say if you told him that your parents are keen to meet him and intend to come over with you? After all, it would be perfectly normal to introduce your future husband to your family before the wedding, right? That’s the normal thing to do when you get engaged in America, and if he doesn’t agree, maybe he’s not really committed to a proper engagement? Maybe he is, as other people suggested, grooming you for sex trafficking?
Try it. See what he says.
Y'all both have the emotional maturity of a toddler if you think a grown man shitting himself is funny.
She left her job at the school because she was being physically attacked by the students.
When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!
He has lied to you – repeatedly. He wants the thrill of the chase, even when he is in a committed relationship He is now deflecting and successfully making you feel guilty about HIS misdemeanors – there is a word for this, DARVO.
Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
“I know he won't change” Why are you still engaged to this man? One who disrespects you and doesn't know what commitment is? Do you think this will somehow magically get better when you put a ring on his finger? If you start from a position of compromise like this, then he will gradually erode all your input, feelings, and boundaries on the matter. It's only a matter of time until he actually cheats on you. Do not tie your future to someone who treats you like this. You deserve better.
Don't get sad, get angry! Don't tell him you love him and wait for him to apologise. Don't beg for the scraps of his attention. He is behaving like he can replace you in a very hot minute – let him go. He isn't worth it.
i know this is 2 weeks old, and I haven't read your update yet (I am just about to) but this really sucks and I'm sorry your family is this way 🙁
You go to the police and file a TRO then never speak to this goofball again
The fact you didn’t immediately dump him is baffling to me
Yes, he is punishing you. You came here for advice, please listen to what everyone is telling you.
Your boyfriend seems a lot insecure. So much so he wants you to quit and open your own business. It seems possessive to me. I don't think there is anything you can do to ease his fears.
Expanding on this: I'm a man, and have owned businesses. In my opinion, you have a lot of things going against you. ?You re working at your first job ?You don't think you have enough money ?You don't mention what business
HIs Timing is Bad—Worst Economy in Decades ?Unemployment is rising ?Companies are laying off employees ?Inflation is at an all-time high ?May have problems just supporting the both of you.
I don't usually try to persuade people not to open a business. I'm Pro Small Business, I wouldn't do a start up myself unless it was a special niche market. Like it's profitable in bad economic times.
Right now people are reducing their personal spending, preparing for the worst of times.
Listen to the CEO's of major companies
Well thats a rare case. I took the pill once and everything went like normal.
I would let your bf know that your rethinking the relationship.
you have boundaries, she has a different set of boundaries. if they dont match, then its better to move on. especially. if she is being a hypocrit about it.
but she says that since I make more and I am the man
And you want to be married to this misandrist, why exactly?
answer sorry
This is what i wish for but i asked him why he did it if he clearly knew how i felt and he couldn’t even give me a clear answet
Same! Though for me it was obvious when this was happening because it changed dates on extremely old photos and grouped them all together because my albums are sorted by dates so I have this bunch of extremely old photos mixed in with newer ones whenever I move things to cloud.
For nothing….don't do it.
Stop being such a baby
How old is your gf, certainly not 24. Think it from a guy's perspective on tinder. You're basically being played. That's who your gf is, she likes playing with men.
Dejavu
She’s lying, she’s wants to sleep around but is only backtracking cause she didn’t think you’d say no
No sending pictures of bodyparts to whomever. (Needing to be specified: “Dad, somezhing stung my toe. Look, it all red, what is this?” should be an accepted exception. )
With people nowadays feeling it normal to randomly send photos to total strangers one should specify this!
Stop staying with an abuser. Do you really plan on raising your kids around the abuse? What happens when she starts abusing your kids? Have some self respect and respect enough for kids to leave that AH.
There’s never a justifiable excuse for abuse. Leave her.
Call your mom, hun. It’s totally normal to want your mom. Hugs anytime.
Health services : if you need help medically or emotionally or psychologically – or to help extract you from an abusive relationship. They are there to help. It’s ok to ask for help.
This feels like a bit of an overreaction. If someone cuts you out of their life for seemingly no reason, it’s very normal to want to know why. No one is entitled to closure and not everyone gets it, but it’s very normal to want it. What if it’s a simple misunderstanding? Is it better for an easily resolved misunderstanding to just ruin a friendship forever and make work very uncomfortable or is it better to reach out and try and resolve things? It honestly depends and I don’t think we have enough information to assume OP has a savior complex or doesn’t respect this person.
From everything OP has said, they aren’t pestering this woman. They’re asking for advice for how to proceed. I honestly think it’s good advice to tell them to leave her alone. That’s the same advice I would give them at this point. But they’re not being an asshole for asking the question. And anyway, they still have to work with this person and they could probably use advice on how to navigate that.