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45 thoughts on “Nath Roxanne live! webcams for YOU!”
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My advice is to just go completely cold turkey on your ex. Don’t talk to him, don’t recognize him and don’t interact with him in any way. Block him on social media, block his number and cut the cord in every way possible. Throw out old mementos of your relationship, drop off any of his stuff at his house or just throw in away. If he tries to interact with you, cut him off and tell him you aren’t interested in talking to him.
I’d probably want to move away if I could too, but I realize that’s much easier said than done.
As for finding an outlet, perhaps a good way of going forward would be to talk with a therapist and get some professional advice. They will be able to give you bette strategies for dealing with these situations than Reddit can.
Otherwise, immersing in old hobbies or starting new ones is a great start. Try reconnecting with old friends. Plan a trip you’ve always wanted to go on. Give yourself things to look forward to.
Lastly, understand it’s 100% ok to feel these feelings. Embarrassment, regret, anger, frustration, sadness…all of these are normal feelings when you break up and have to move on. Unfortunately only time will solve this problem…there is no magic speed-up button. It’s ok to have times where you feel hurt, but it’s up to you how you choose to acknowledge them.
I'm still friends with old highschool girlfriends from over 50 years ago. My wife and I have been together for 50 years, and never had any such boundaries on who we could or couldn't talk too. A good boundary would be no sexual activity with others unless you break up first. There's no cheat that way.
Pretty much,Yes.
It's really common in Ireland to give a cash envelope as a wedding gift (we don't really do gift registries here)
I would be really worried about what else she took out in your name. My brother found maxed out credit cards that he never applied for but was then stuck paying them.
Same and I agree. She'll just hide it more and that can be way worse. She needs to be open about this stuff to someone that can point out potential abusers.
I guess it is what it is
Don’t be in an exclusive relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you
Try sending some photos of yourself to her maybe, if you already don’t. Otherwise, see if she’s down for a video call. I’m not sure on the “make her feel better part” though.
Pack him a granola bar for when you dump him.
it sounds like she's having some sort of midlife crisis.
whatever you do don't give in and have a baby, you don't want to be a parent and at your ages things are getting risky. but mostly because you don't want to be a parent. kids, they know these things and it harms them.
have a good night, OP. I wish you all the best.
Yes, people always suggest going to therapy without acknowledging that the cost is out of reach for many people. But that is why I suggest linking in with some type of community support worker for free counselling.
In your responses, you are doing a lot of empathising with your boyfriends difficulties. This is not helpful to you. We are not responsible for fixing other peoples lives, or for protecting other peoples feelings. This dynamic is only appropriate to bring into play when you are in an equal and mutually beneficial and trustworthy relationship – Where you are treated with the sake consideration that you give out.That’s not what you have here.
You have given him ALL the benefits of being with you, without requiring anything of him. It will be very difficult for you to disentangle yourself from him, while ever you are excusing his behaviour because of his difficult past or whatever.
Yes this man needs to heal, but that is not your job or responsibility, or even your capability. He will never be a good relationship option unless and until he is gone away and done the work on himself. But because of his damage, he just may not be capable of ever being a good partner.
This relationship is stuffed. He will not change while he is in this cushy place, draining every last drop from you. You need this energy to look after your self and your kids, especially because he is not doing it.
I feel like you need a much bigger shift in perspective than someone else like me can give you. It needs to come from you deciding that you want to give yourself the chance to have a happier life than the one this man limits you to. You need to internally decide that you are embracing hope enough to cut off this guy and follow through by staying firmly cut off. No one can choose that for you, you’ve got to back yourself to make that happen.
I can suggest you follow @datingbylion on Instagram, to help you gain the self respect necessary to gain that shift in perspective. He gives insight into the male outlook which can help you set boundaries, but I really do think he is talking to people in much less dire situations than you are in. You are at the point where it is time to act decisively to save yourself and stop the mooching and abuse. Stop empathising with him and empathise with yourself. Really practice using your backbone. Being a good and loving partner, is not the same as being a used doormat. You deserve kindness too.
Who said they had to have a forced religious upbringing? OP isn't asking “How do we force our kids to practice my religion or hers even in adulthood”? So your metric for success (the kids practicing religion forever) is not relevant to HIS post. He never expressed that he cares about that.
He's asking how to navigate a difference of beliefs including in raising kids, and allowing them to explore religion for themselves is a great way to do that. If he were that rigid about his own faith, he wouldn't be dating someone of another faith.
She literally left to calm down so she will be able to talk and you still consider that manipulative.
I think he's saying that she will start crying again as soon as they start talking, even after she takes a breather.
Did you even read the post?
Ruby red flag? Never heard that one before. Gonna have to adopt that for sure.
That being said this dude's mind is completely warped, but it seems like it probably runs in the family.
Financial abuse. You're in an abusive relationship. Abusers do not need to hit to control. Contact old friends and family, people you can trust. If most of your friends have fallen by the wayside, there are still several who will answer this call. Get a great lawyer, keep it quiet, plan your exit with your lawyer and a DV shelter consult. The ball should be ready to tee when you leave, not leave first, coordinate exit later. Accounts get drained real quick, but you're entitled to your share, so if you leave the same day the accounts get frozen, nothing goes missing.
Wow. Your daughter is an entitled one. Please don’t let her guilt you into it. It wasn’t easier back when our kids were little. We did what we did. It’s time for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to basically raise your grandkids.
I was planning to talk to them ! It’s just the comment made me realize that sending a long ass message while they were sleeping to make them worry when they wake up isn’t the good approach , also message can be read in so many ways and don’t get my intention right.
I agree that you can’t give consent when you are drunk of course , but isn’t being that drunk while you are in a couple a mistake ? I mean I get getting drunk but to the point of blacking out
She's trying to wriggle her way back in your life by emotionally manipulating her son to manipulate you. Tell her you don't appreciate it and to not do it again or you will block her on all platforms.
Brutal. Fucking brutal.
You understand that means you too and run. Send screenshots or other proof of who he is as a person to his family. Especially any women.
So now he's not only got nudes of you that you didn't send consent to, he's also got nudes of your previous partner that she has NO IDEA of that you kept much less that some stranger has them?
Why the fuck are you so keen on downplaying exactly how much of a violation this is as well as a red flag?
Nothing good can come out of something like this. And that's complete bullshit you're feeding yourself to say “he hasn't seen me for months”. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble and just jerked to those pictures off your iPad. Instead he's sent them to himself, the cloud for them to be backed up and anyone else if he desires to do so.
Scrub his phone, scrub his cloud and delete the passwords/codes you use and lock down ALL your digital footprints. You need to end things with him and remind him how illegal this all is. The fact he sent them from your account makes it look like you've shared your nudes with him willingly when you know that is not the case.
When he doesnt have enough money, I have had to take out multiple cash advances on my credit cards to pay the rest of rent, on top of my own bills. Idk if this is important, but my bills and utilities almost equals rent
Staying is selfish. She deserves a partner who wants her in every way. You're keeping her tied up with you and missing a very important aspect of a relationship.
Don’t touch it again, let her bring it up if she wants to. But I’d also rephrase the question in future attempts on women… asking “when are you free for coffee” skips the part of the conversation where you even ask if she is interested in hanging out with you in another context to get coffee. Maybe a “do you want to grab coffee some time?” Your question assumes she wants to get you coffee with you and just asks when she is free to do so. Just my 2 cents.
You wife really didn’t mean bang a family friend who will be at family events etc she means a stranger to her and your friends and family. The fact you’ve already spoken to this friend too is massive. A line has already been crossed I reckon.
Looking to focus more on her concept of a solution. I don't think getting divorced should be a solution. Even if it is just by title.
I can control my hands thanks.
This.
You are recognizing she is your dependent first and your gf second. Of course you aren’t seeing her as a partner anymore, anyone would.
I know highly successful people who deal with those exact same things she does.
At the end of the day she is responsible for whether she goes to the doctor, she stays on her medication, whether she goes to work, whether she manages her money, and how she treats others around her.
By allowing the behavior she exhibits and refuses to deal with responsibly to continue, and her use of you like an ATM to continue, you are treating her as a child.
Someone who refuses to deal with these things like an adult will never be a great partner because they can’t even manage themselves.
By breaking up you are, giving her the opportunity to function like an adult rather than your dependent.
Move forward with the divorce, she is a lesbian, and she has admitted to being in love with her female lover. You can not compete with that. Divorce her and take your time to find someone who loves you.
I bet you have looked at some women’s chest & thought “fake” when they’re actually real.
It’s not always cut & dry. It’s not as simple as “I ogle women & can tell when they bounce a certain way.” Many women who work out their chest have really nice perky boobs & I bet you’d think they’re fake cuz “they bounce a certain way or are too perky to be real.”
What part of this post shows his charming side?
Okay yes, this is a good one to include as well
I definitely stopped caring a long time ago honestly but still stayed with him just because we’re not officially broken up so it would be wrong for me to go talk to other men if I wanted to even if he does the same thing It’s whatever. But I’m definitely not tripping about him I’m doing something I really wanted in a long time and I actually feel really good not talking to him or any other men for that matter rn. Thank you for the advice
Sorry that this has happened to you
Because you're wrong. Hope that helps.
Thanks!
Yeah the berating part is tough because I know he wants to be heard and listened to, but at the same time it just feels like he’s saying the same stuff on repeat and it’s not going anywhere. If I don’t say anything back he says I’m not engaging, but I don’t know what to say besides “what can I do moving forward?”
Maybe he’s not feeling a change from me – I made a comment about buying a bin to organize an area in our home and that set him off – I shouldn’t have brought it up buying it – so maybe that’s the change he’s looking for. So I’m going to be mindful about what comes out of my mouth.
I think he wants to see action, so next time I get a payment from a client, I’m going to put it in a spreadsheet and show me splitting into money going back into my biz/taxes, savings and bills.
He’s okay with living here as long as we both hit a certain income goal.
He’s a great partner and does so much, I know where I need to step up.
One thing that helps/motivates me is to listen to a book about whatever subject I’m focusing on, so that’s something I’m going to do today.
You’re in a new relationship. If the communication is an issue then end it. It seems reasonable to me but clearly isn’t working for you.
She's asking you to be her backburner. Have some self respect and walk away.
You say yes to this once and I promise she will be doing it again in a year or less.
Isn’t that always the question
Right? Because setting a boundary of this behavior stops or I get a new assistant isn't an option why?
That’s the thing, she’s not trying to get to know me. She’s just trying to see why it is I won’t date her. I once told her that I was hanging out with another friend of mine who happens to be a woman and she proceeded to curse me out. She’s done nothing to get to know me personally