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The “benefit of the doubt” is how your husband gets away with being a crap partner
Leave it alone till he is ready to own up to what he said.
Letting him slide does him no good in the long term. DO NOT TEACH HIM DOUBLING DOWN on being an asshole works
“You can go over his head” “he doesn’t need to know” is not a good way to start a relationship. Trust is so important and this could further the problem which is communication.