I don’t think that you should take this personally. Things said in anger hurt the most and tend to linger. That being said, I also don’t think it’s okay that she made a comment at your expense because she is trying to lose weight and is seeming to blame you for the failure before she starts.
If you both can agree on what healthy is, regarding exercise and diet, and baseline that for both of you to support doing better for each other, that’s a start for her initial trouble. If she can take responsibility for her outburst and start taking responsibility for her own feelings, instead of blaming you, then that would probably go a long way for mending the damage done.
Well, you really like this person. And that's great. You're in the cupcake phase of a potential lover. But if you overdo it, it can come off in a really obsessive way and you could wind up losing her. You have all the time in the world, so just take it slow and don't be too clingy. Make her reach out to you first sometimes. Let her reciprocate.
I really hate to say this, you can take the person out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of a person. Even if you move to a nice house his (and by extension your) habits will quickly see it degrade. There isn't advice that's really going to help you get through to him, he's decided how he wants to live. If you want to change you'll probably have to leave him behind.
I grew up in a house like you described and it took decades to break that mentality. Even then I still have three cars that don't run in my driveway and my house isn't as clean and well maintained as it should be. I've learned to shrug off junk cars as my “hobby”, but really it's deeper than that. It's a perversion of consumerism, in my twisted mind I can say “I have three cars, that's three cars more than anyone else has, I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm successful” but it's a suspension of disbelief that gets me there. The junk cars, just like horder hordes, represent worth or value that just simply isn't there.
Also, your age gap. You are wasting your youth on a man who isn't now, nor will he ever be, able to meet your dreams and expectations. Don't settle for someone who is very vocally against the life you want to have, especially not at 23.
Please get back on birth control before you have sex again. I think there are things the two of you need to figure out when his blue balls are more important to him than your pain.
It’s weird that she would tell you.
I don’t think that you should take this personally. Things said in anger hurt the most and tend to linger. That being said, I also don’t think it’s okay that she made a comment at your expense because she is trying to lose weight and is seeming to blame you for the failure before she starts.
If you both can agree on what healthy is, regarding exercise and diet, and baseline that for both of you to support doing better for each other, that’s a start for her initial trouble. If she can take responsibility for her outburst and start taking responsibility for her own feelings, instead of blaming you, then that would probably go a long way for mending the damage done.
Well, you really like this person. And that's great. You're in the cupcake phase of a potential lover. But if you overdo it, it can come off in a really obsessive way and you could wind up losing her. You have all the time in the world, so just take it slow and don't be too clingy. Make her reach out to you first sometimes. Let her reciprocate.
I really hate to say this, you can take the person out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of a person. Even if you move to a nice house his (and by extension your) habits will quickly see it degrade. There isn't advice that's really going to help you get through to him, he's decided how he wants to live. If you want to change you'll probably have to leave him behind.
I grew up in a house like you described and it took decades to break that mentality. Even then I still have three cars that don't run in my driveway and my house isn't as clean and well maintained as it should be. I've learned to shrug off junk cars as my “hobby”, but really it's deeper than that. It's a perversion of consumerism, in my twisted mind I can say “I have three cars, that's three cars more than anyone else has, I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm successful” but it's a suspension of disbelief that gets me there. The junk cars, just like horder hordes, represent worth or value that just simply isn't there.
Also, your age gap. You are wasting your youth on a man who isn't now, nor will he ever be, able to meet your dreams and expectations. Don't settle for someone who is very vocally against the life you want to have, especially not at 23.
Please get back on birth control before you have sex again. I think there are things the two of you need to figure out when his blue balls are more important to him than your pain.