You’re living in a nightmare. If I were you, I’d just move out and start over. Let her stay. You’re not responsible for someone else’s mental well-being. It’s her responsibility to make sure the relationship is doable for both parties involved.
Make him feel appreciated, assert his value to you perhaps by cooking his favourite dinner or making a cake, watching his favourite movie or go out to his favourite place, and top it off with a small, thoughtful gift that aligns with your boyfriend's interest. It doesn't have to be an expensive or extravagant gift, just something nice will suffice.
For example, my boyfriend is really into cars and loves sushi so I spent a month trying sushi recipies and made a cake in the shape of a motorcycle. I top it off with a couple of tickets to a motocycle race. He was over the moon!
You love your girlfriend too much even if she's undeserving. She should really be grateful. I just really hope she won't messed this chance that you've given her. I hope you made the right decision. Because if she will fck up. I surely hope she does it quickly and you learn it immediately so you won't waste anymore time with her.
Going down on my girlfriend and taking something up the bum are in no way comparable. He has every right to feel the way he does. I've made my girlfriend squirt before and it was nothing like the male ejaculation.
I'll leave it up to her. She's always putting me on the spot Infront of them so it won't be a shock she said yes. It's more about her honestly than anyone else. Hopefully she isn't cranky that day. She was pissed over Thanksgiving and we spent the whole day in the basement.
Not to hijack, but can we have a green flag thread?
My husband is currently braving sub-freezing weather to go pick up a pizza because I wanted one but didn't want to cause a delivery person to drive in this weather.
You’re not married and you don’t have any children. You could try telling her that her behavior is not okay. Or you could ask her when she is going to move in with her “favorite dance partner” because you’re clearly not a priority to her anymore.
There's no middle ground to be found when someone is being wholly unreasonable. Her treatment of you is deplorable, and I'd personally second guess having a child with someone who weaponizes intimacy and forces they're will. If you agree to her demand despite your own feelings will she end up using sex as a weapon in the future to get her way? Or make things so frigid in the home that you give in to keep the peace? Just some things to maybe keep in mind.
No, generally it isn't worth it. If you are honestly going about your life and happen to run into someone great, that's awesome! However, planning to date to “get back out there” is most likely only to give you a buffet of jackasses that no other women wanted either. There are plenty of worthwhile men around, but you likely won't meet them on the dating scene. Many of them in your age-group have also likely had experiences with women similar to yours with your ex. My best advice would be to try to be content alone, but keep your eyes peeled for something that YOU like, and bonus points if he doesn't hit on you or try to seduce you immediately. A lot of the best men and women out there have been through the gauntlet and can be a tad hesitant to put themselves out there.
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Have you lived in the same city ever? I think you need to date in proximity before you get married. There is something fishy about being both emotionally checked out and
Why are you still married to her? Why wouldn’t you divorce and try to find a woman who makes you happy?
Is it for the kids? Because staying together with a woman you don’t like just for the kids does more harm than good. You admit you’ve completely changed around her, you don’t think that’s going to rub off onto your kids? Come on now, you owe it to them to be happy and they deserve a happy father.
You need to find your courage and divorce this woman.
I agree especially he is a big time drug dealer with a lot of guns at his house. Maybe strange to say that I have anxiety for things that did not happen yet ?
No, don’t tell your FWB. You have no moral or ethical obligation to tell him. You’re not in a committed relationship with him so you didn’t cheat on him. If you do tell him, you say he will cut you off. JFC why the fuck would you even consider telling him??
Eww. Your friend and BiL are disgusting, but none of that is your fault. Support your sister and her kids and make sure you never see or speak to your “friend” ever again.
Two desperate people. One desperate to be with someone while not committing and one desperate to get married enough to use verbal trickery to get engaged.
Info: what made you think this is a suitable partner to have a baby with? Even without normal house chores included, that baby is a LOT of work. It's gonna be half assed as well, if she's this lazy.
Sounds like you shouldn't be dating if you find someone “liking” a photo offensive. And it wasn't done “in secret.” No one has to tell you every single thing they do on social media.
I will say, as a woman, if you want kids, there is absolutely a ticking clock. Pregnancy is risky at any stage, and people need to plan these things ahead. Especially if you want to juggle a relationship, motherhood and a professional career.
That said, you both need to sit down and discuss what both your timelines look like, because then she can decide if spending time with you will get her what she wants.
There is nothing wrong with either of you wanting different things, but you need to make sure to have these conversations early, especially since you don't want to live together nor have kids in the next year or two
Also, he isn’t pro choice he’s definitely pro birth and pro life. Do not let him get away with saying he’s pro choice when he’s not giving anyone the choice unless they are gonna die.
I 100% would dump someone who said this to me. A woman’s body means less to him then an unalive undeveloped fetus. Gross.
When my last dog passed, I kept a small bit of her fur in the same box as her paw print that was taken at the time of her passing. I don’t think it’s strange necessarily. You might have more quirks than you realize however and that just didn’t vibe with him. I say move on and find someone who understands you better.
I thought that too but I think it was because he had no control over her and who she talked to. Her mom had sole custody because her mom was 18 when she was born and her dad was a much older married man. Her moms parents didn’t approve and she even has her moms maiden name as her last name. The mom never lived at the dads house and neither did my fiancé; she was born out of an affair when her mom slept with her dad while he was married and had his two twins at home. They got married in secret but the parents (fiancé’s grandparents never approved) the dad also has heat on him from his first wife reporting him to CPS and the police.
Unfortunately no :/ my only options are to find housing in my university dormitory or move back to California. I’ve actually messaged the girl and left her know what’s going on and she happily cooperated. He truly is a piece of shit. Thank you so much for your feedback ❤️
Yea but you're still going to be foolish enough to marry him? I mean shit, Hitler probably was nice to Eva Braun at times. Who cares that he is nice sometimes and then completely disrespectful too. Like wtf
We don’t have the money to get professional mold remediators to treat the home but we do have air purifiers with hepa filters in each bedroom and the living room.
So you agree with him that the vent should only be used when showering? And using the vent is causing outside air to be pulled inside through non-visible cracks in the home?
no it's called a relationship if i wanted no rules that's called being single. unless ur poly not cheating is a rule. not flirting w others is a rule. rules are allowed so are boundaries. if you need to compromise on a boundary then the lines you use to specify the boundary are…RULES!
i don't believe in dictating her weekend and i don't want to. i told her from the beginning i didn't wanna date a club girl. she told me she wasn't but goes w her friends every once in a while. i said okay well if we're going to be together while u r 6,000 miles away here is my boundaries and here's all i ask you to do for my comfort. i never forced i asked if she was okay w it. she agreed. i don't see how that's toxic and i don't see how that's controlling. and holding her to something she said she was comfortable doing isn't controlling.
i think ur perception of a relationship is flawed and laid back. i understand if u want to act single and have no rules but there is something called respect and tradition. each person has different lines and boundaries u can't just do what u want. u have to learn how to love the other individual in the way they're comfortable. and if that way isn't something you're okay with then don't say u r
No offense, but the current problem you have described is more a YOU problem, not a couples problem. Your fears that your “over-attraction” and regret over “not meeting sooner” are trauma responses and are causing you to behave unhealthily toward your partner.
Undoubtedly you both have done a lot of work, but I think the next step in your recovery is an individual one.
In the past, I've asked before doing anything like that. Her friend could even tell her that you added her. Why risk any appearance of impropriety? Also, don't ask her friend how to fix things if there's a fight
He may react a certain way due to his own upbringing. My husband is now coming to grips w the fact that his parents messed him up and shut him down so he does the same. It's conditioning that's hot to escape.
Honestly, it's been a struggle at times when he spirals and shuts down, like when he was a kid.
What I've said in the past is that “If you won't talk to me, then I can't help you or the situation. If you want to ignore me, that's your choice. But I will not be here for whatever this is. I'm not your enemy. Stop treating me like I am. I'm going for a walk / drive (whatever).” Then grab your purse and go clear your head. I have often found going to a drive thru and getting a sm french fry and sitting in my car and enjoying the very hot, salty, crispy fries gave me enough time to not be mad at him, for being mad at me.
I've also gone on hikes or went to the beach or library alone.
My strategy is this. 1. Difuse the immediate situation if he's shut down or if he shuts you down. (leave the room, apt, etc.) 2. Start therapy for you. 3. Schedule a couples therapy session after you've gone to yours for a while. He has to be on board AND willing to participate or it's just a waste of time and money. 4. Share articles or info on specific things. Like you becoming overwhelmed w too much info.
It's a process. I've been married forever and we're still trying to be better partners to each other while NOT downplaying our own needs. But your bf has to be willing to communicate rationally and calmly or it'll be fight, make up, repeat this again and again until we die.
That's not living, that's just waiting for the next time…
Honestly if you have years with your boyfriend, the same amount of time in conflicts with his mother and he did stop her neither defend you, what relationship you want to fix?
I'd been in your shoes, guys like that always choose their mother so let him be with her.
Remove yourself from this unnecessary drama, finish school, work on yourself, maybe therapy to learn how to not be in a relationship like this again.
They both suck. She’s manipulative by using the vasectomy as a way to gauge his commitment to the relationship. He’s clearly incapable of mature communication and halfway out the door with a “no, you do it. I might want kids with someone else” (because that IS what changing his mind directly implies). He’s totally valid in feeling that way, but her being upset because of that obvious implication also makes sense.
She should never have made reproductive control the litmus test for their relationship, he should never have turned it around on her with a “no, you” and instead just honestly told her that until they decide whether to continue being married or not, he’s not willing to commit to permanent birth control with her because he doesn’t feel safe in their relationship right now.
Either way, this relationship sounds very over. I guess couple’s therapy might be a way to talk this out but imo if they’re at this point then the relationship is too far gone already.
Yeah, do tell her but jeez dude this timing is awful. Feels a lot like a bait and switch to wait til after the wedding. People's sex drives are different, and it's an important aspect of compatibility. Maybe she'll do okay with less sex but if she really needs it this often you've set this marriage up to fail by waiting til after the wedding to start to sort this issue.
Views on sex at one point is what it is. And that includes feeling pressured to do things that they don't want to do because they're too naive to leave a person.
You can easily make yourself sick, if she is crying and starts coughing it can start your gag reflex and makes her sick, it sounds like she is doing it on purpose since it only happens when she doesn’t get her way and specifically in arguments with you. She knows you’ll stop to help her when she makes herself sick, it’s a manipulation technique and you are allowing it. Honestly your only option is to let her get sick do NOT help her when this happens and when she’s done resume the discussion. I had a friend that would become hysterical (basically throwing a temper tantrum) when we argued but I didn’t let her antics get to me I just waited until she calmed down but I refused to console her and when she was gone we finished the argument. If you let the argument be forgotten you are still giving her what she wants, these disagreements need to be resolved her getting sick in the middle can make small arguments into bigger issues down the road.
IDK if he's just frustrated with the game or if he's bottling up other emotions, but either way it's not a healthy coping mechanism. And ignoring ur texts isn't a good sign, he needs to communicate with u if u two want to make it work. It's still early in the relationship, so try to have a calm convo with him and see if he's open to working on these issues together. If he's not willing to make an effort, then it might be time to reevaluate if this is the right relationship for you.
Because you're not even attempting to have a discussion at this point. You're being petty and waving off this conversation as if it's beneath you, simply because you don't disagree with what I'm saying. It's dismissive and immature.
So you changed your mind, we all do that, run it by her and if her answer is still 'No' then accept it like a good partner should!
On a side note it's a being constantly around a baby will trigger what experts call 'baby hormones' the desire to have some of your own, if that baby has not triggered those hormones on your gf, give it up stud muffin, she's probably not cut to be a mother, strike two, but don't take my word for it, I'm no expert!
At first, I told him to stop jerking off and watching porn but apparently, that has not helped
mostly it didnt help cuz he never stopped..Addiction is a hot thing to overcome…how about a trip to a licensed therapist or an actual medical doctor? turns out they both have a lot of insight into problems like this.
Which is an absolutely horrible thing to do to you, specially if you are dealing with mental health issues at the present moment, you need to set boundaries, he is messing with your head for no reason other than his baby feelings.
You can break up with someone for any reason but personally I think You're overreacting. This topic won't affect your relationship in any way shape or form.
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
My boyfriend won't be out of his family's grasp for the next 5-10 years, he is still a student and will be for the next 4 years, and he plans to work under his mother (family business) afterwards.
It may very much be the only functional relationship I found myself into, usually I either get fetishised by my partners for my “special features” or ridiculed, that's why I'm clinging on this relationship, because other than this specific issue, we are fully compatible.
Been trying to talk to my therapist about my situation but she’s been booked, which is why I came to Reddit in the mean time. Will be more urgent with her scheduling
You’re living in a nightmare. If I were you, I’d just move out and start over. Let her stay. You’re not responsible for someone else’s mental well-being. It’s her responsibility to make sure the relationship is doable for both parties involved.
Make him feel appreciated, assert his value to you perhaps by cooking his favourite dinner or making a cake, watching his favourite movie or go out to his favourite place, and top it off with a small, thoughtful gift that aligns with your boyfriend's interest. It doesn't have to be an expensive or extravagant gift, just something nice will suffice.
For example, my boyfriend is really into cars and loves sushi so I spent a month trying sushi recipies and made a cake in the shape of a motorcycle. I top it off with a couple of tickets to a motocycle race. He was over the moon!
She has my children and we love each other.
You did what needed to be done. Even if he feels betrayed, you had to ensure that he was safe. Yours was a caring act.
You love your girlfriend too much even if she's undeserving. She should really be grateful. I just really hope she won't messed this chance that you've given her. I hope you made the right decision. Because if she will fck up. I surely hope she does it quickly and you learn it immediately so you won't waste anymore time with her.
Sorry that i have to be the one to tell you but youre insecure and you obv dont understand the concept of equality its the double standard for me
Going down on my girlfriend and taking something up the bum are in no way comparable. He has every right to feel the way he does. I've made my girlfriend squirt before and it was nothing like the male ejaculation.
With your CHILDREN around? Come on that is next level shitty. Even just getting blackout drunk with your kids around would be too much for me.
That must have been hot for her
“Say what you will”???
I..don’t think that means what you think it means.
I'll leave it up to her. She's always putting me on the spot Infront of them so it won't be a shock she said yes. It's more about her honestly than anyone else. Hopefully she isn't cranky that day. She was pissed over Thanksgiving and we spent the whole day in the basement.
Not to hijack, but can we have a green flag thread?
My husband is currently braving sub-freezing weather to go pick up a pizza because I wanted one but didn't want to cause a delivery person to drive in this weather.
You’re not married and you don’t have any children. You could try telling her that her behavior is not okay. Or you could ask her when she is going to move in with her “favorite dance partner” because you’re clearly not a priority to her anymore.
Bad bot
You should probably go to the cops if it continues because I'm pretty sure that's illegal in numerous ways
There's no middle ground to be found when someone is being wholly unreasonable. Her treatment of you is deplorable, and I'd personally second guess having a child with someone who weaponizes intimacy and forces they're will. If you agree to her demand despite your own feelings will she end up using sex as a weapon in the future to get her way? Or make things so frigid in the home that you give in to keep the peace? Just some things to maybe keep in mind.
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No, generally it isn't worth it. If you are honestly going about your life and happen to run into someone great, that's awesome! However, planning to date to “get back out there” is most likely only to give you a buffet of jackasses that no other women wanted either. There are plenty of worthwhile men around, but you likely won't meet them on the dating scene. Many of them in your age-group have also likely had experiences with women similar to yours with your ex. My best advice would be to try to be content alone, but keep your eyes peeled for something that YOU like, and bonus points if he doesn't hit on you or try to seduce you immediately. A lot of the best men and women out there have been through the gauntlet and can be a tad hesitant to put themselves out there.
After 2 years you should be worried about bagging your own girl and not about who your ex sleeps with.
I feel pulled in that direction, but also terrified to lose the person who feels like my best friend 🙁
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What a terrible day for me to have eyes
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Have you lived in the same city ever? I think you need to date in proximity before you get married. There is something fishy about being both emotionally checked out and
Why are you still married to her? Why wouldn’t you divorce and try to find a woman who makes you happy?
Is it for the kids? Because staying together with a woman you don’t like just for the kids does more harm than good. You admit you’ve completely changed around her, you don’t think that’s going to rub off onto your kids? Come on now, you owe it to them to be happy and they deserve a happy father.
You need to find your courage and divorce this woman.
I agree especially he is a big time drug dealer with a lot of guns at his house. Maybe strange to say that I have anxiety for things that did not happen yet ?
Here is what you need to know:
If you stay with him, know that he will leave you for a young woman. That's what he wants.
No, don’t tell your FWB. You have no moral or ethical obligation to tell him. You’re not in a committed relationship with him so you didn’t cheat on him. If you do tell him, you say he will cut you off. JFC why the fuck would you even consider telling him??
49-6=43
Eww. Your friend and BiL are disgusting, but none of that is your fault. Support your sister and her kids and make sure you never see or speak to your “friend” ever again.
Two desperate people. One desperate to be with someone while not committing and one desperate to get married enough to use verbal trickery to get engaged.
Is he having a mental health crisis? It really sounds like it. Has he always been like this?
Birth control fails all the time. You can say the same thing about OP. He was involved in the process as well.
Info: what made you think this is a suitable partner to have a baby with? Even without normal house chores included, that baby is a LOT of work. It's gonna be half assed as well, if she's this lazy.
Tell him you’ll no longer be with him while he’s married but you’ll wait from afar while he gets his affairs in order.
I can guarantee you he’ll stick with his wife and will lose interest in you as soon as you stop having sex with him.
Do you need us to tell you to do something about it?
I HAVE BEEN ABANDONED IN A VOID OF SADNESS – your dog probably
Sounds like you shouldn't be dating if you find someone “liking” a photo offensive. And it wasn't done “in secret.” No one has to tell you every single thing they do on social media.
I will say, as a woman, if you want kids, there is absolutely a ticking clock. Pregnancy is risky at any stage, and people need to plan these things ahead. Especially if you want to juggle a relationship, motherhood and a professional career.
That said, you both need to sit down and discuss what both your timelines look like, because then she can decide if spending time with you will get her what she wants.
There is nothing wrong with either of you wanting different things, but you need to make sure to have these conversations early, especially since you don't want to live together nor have kids in the next year or two
Also, he isn’t pro choice he’s definitely pro birth and pro life. Do not let him get away with saying he’s pro choice when he’s not giving anyone the choice unless they are gonna die.
I 100% would dump someone who said this to me. A woman’s body means less to him then an unalive undeveloped fetus. Gross.
When my last dog passed, I kept a small bit of her fur in the same box as her paw print that was taken at the time of her passing. I don’t think it’s strange necessarily. You might have more quirks than you realize however and that just didn’t vibe with him. I say move on and find someone who understands you better.
I thought that too but I think it was because he had no control over her and who she talked to. Her mom had sole custody because her mom was 18 when she was born and her dad was a much older married man. Her moms parents didn’t approve and she even has her moms maiden name as her last name. The mom never lived at the dads house and neither did my fiancé; she was born out of an affair when her mom slept with her dad while he was married and had his two twins at home. They got married in secret but the parents (fiancé’s grandparents never approved) the dad also has heat on him from his first wife reporting him to CPS and the police.
Unfortunately no :/ my only options are to find housing in my university dormitory or move back to California. I’ve actually messaged the girl and left her know what’s going on and she happily cooperated. He truly is a piece of shit. Thank you so much for your feedback ❤️
You clearly know the right thing to do because you feel shitty about the situation. You are choosing not to for your own selfish reasons
Bro come on. Google accidentally putting your wife's phone at that exact address by accident.
You are not controlling, you are just speaking out of your boundary and needs.
Arfarfarf. ????
Yea but you're still going to be foolish enough to marry him? I mean shit, Hitler probably was nice to Eva Braun at times. Who cares that he is nice sometimes and then completely disrespectful too. Like wtf
We don’t have the money to get professional mold remediators to treat the home but we do have air purifiers with hepa filters in each bedroom and the living room.
So you agree with him that the vent should only be used when showering? And using the vent is causing outside air to be pulled inside through non-visible cracks in the home?
no it's called a relationship if i wanted no rules that's called being single. unless ur poly not cheating is a rule. not flirting w others is a rule. rules are allowed so are boundaries. if you need to compromise on a boundary then the lines you use to specify the boundary are…RULES!
i don't believe in dictating her weekend and i don't want to. i told her from the beginning i didn't wanna date a club girl. she told me she wasn't but goes w her friends every once in a while. i said okay well if we're going to be together while u r 6,000 miles away here is my boundaries and here's all i ask you to do for my comfort. i never forced i asked if she was okay w it. she agreed. i don't see how that's toxic and i don't see how that's controlling. and holding her to something she said she was comfortable doing isn't controlling.
i think ur perception of a relationship is flawed and laid back. i understand if u want to act single and have no rules but there is something called respect and tradition. each person has different lines and boundaries u can't just do what u want. u have to learn how to love the other individual in the way they're comfortable. and if that way isn't something you're okay with then don't say u r
Get an abortion. And say you miscarried
No offense, but the current problem you have described is more a YOU problem, not a couples problem. Your fears that your “over-attraction” and regret over “not meeting sooner” are trauma responses and are causing you to behave unhealthily toward your partner.
Undoubtedly you both have done a lot of work, but I think the next step in your recovery is an individual one.
What a crappy thing of him to do. I have money issues as well but I always tell my boyfriend ahead of time about it if it interferes with gift giving.
You’re not entitled for asking where your gifts are. He’s not putting in effort but just making false promises and that’s a problem.
Consider it a blessing! You don’t have to have sex with him.
In the past, I've asked before doing anything like that. Her friend could even tell her that you added her. Why risk any appearance of impropriety? Also, don't ask her friend how to fix things if there's a fight
God I just hope Max leaves. Brains develop till people are 25-30, he can still get out.
He may react a certain way due to his own upbringing. My husband is now coming to grips w the fact that his parents messed him up and shut him down so he does the same. It's conditioning that's hot to escape.
Honestly, it's been a struggle at times when he spirals and shuts down, like when he was a kid.
What I've said in the past is that “If you won't talk to me, then I can't help you or the situation. If you want to ignore me, that's your choice. But I will not be here for whatever this is. I'm not your enemy. Stop treating me like I am. I'm going for a walk / drive (whatever).” Then grab your purse and go clear your head. I have often found going to a drive thru and getting a sm french fry and sitting in my car and enjoying the very hot, salty, crispy fries gave me enough time to not be mad at him, for being mad at me.
I've also gone on hikes or went to the beach or library alone.
My strategy is this. 1. Difuse the immediate situation if he's shut down or if he shuts you down. (leave the room, apt, etc.) 2. Start therapy for you. 3. Schedule a couples therapy session after you've gone to yours for a while. He has to be on board AND willing to participate or it's just a waste of time and money. 4. Share articles or info on specific things. Like you becoming overwhelmed w too much info.
It's a process. I've been married forever and we're still trying to be better partners to each other while NOT downplaying our own needs. But your bf has to be willing to communicate rationally and calmly or it'll be fight, make up, repeat this again and again until we die.
That's not living, that's just waiting for the next time…
Really interesting that OP says “western WOMEN” but “Thai GIRLS”
Suck it up and tell him you want more romance in the future or give the ring back.
Yeh to be fair her husband sounds like an idiot
If it's not sexual then I guess he won't mind her doing favors for other guys. ?
Honestly if you have years with your boyfriend, the same amount of time in conflicts with his mother and he did stop her neither defend you, what relationship you want to fix?
I'd been in your shoes, guys like that always choose their mother so let him be with her.
Remove yourself from this unnecessary drama, finish school, work on yourself, maybe therapy to learn how to not be in a relationship like this again.
I repeat don't stay with him, you deserve better!
Yeah, this is all on him.
If he wants to sacrifice his health and wellbeing for some trip and laziness.
Now he wants to put the guilt and blame on you, I don't think he'll ever want to solve this until it's to late of course.
Calling a cop would have been the best response
They both suck. She’s manipulative by using the vasectomy as a way to gauge his commitment to the relationship. He’s clearly incapable of mature communication and halfway out the door with a “no, you do it. I might want kids with someone else” (because that IS what changing his mind directly implies). He’s totally valid in feeling that way, but her being upset because of that obvious implication also makes sense.
She should never have made reproductive control the litmus test for their relationship, he should never have turned it around on her with a “no, you” and instead just honestly told her that until they decide whether to continue being married or not, he’s not willing to commit to permanent birth control with her because he doesn’t feel safe in their relationship right now.
Either way, this relationship sounds very over. I guess couple’s therapy might be a way to talk this out but imo if they’re at this point then the relationship is too far gone already.
Did you have friends before your boyfriend?
This is entirely unhelpful.
**eye roll**
Geez, maybe he should bulk the fuck up. I'm 5'4 155lb and my husband can lift me.
Seriously though, OP, this guy is being a douche bag. You don't deserve this.
Yeah, do tell her but jeez dude this timing is awful. Feels a lot like a bait and switch to wait til after the wedding. People's sex drives are different, and it's an important aspect of compatibility. Maybe she'll do okay with less sex but if she really needs it this often you've set this marriage up to fail by waiting til after the wedding to start to sort this issue.
Why tf did you marry him? I think you should divorce him and then think very hot about why you destroy yourself.
Wow.. such an inspiring story. I am so happy for you and your wife.
I denied my depression for a long time too. When I finally was forced to ask for help I was diagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar disorder.
Crazy how there is typically “something else” behind the anxiety and stress.
I hope you and your wife long and happy life 🙂
views on sex at one point
Views on sex at one point is what it is. And that includes feeling pressured to do things that they don't want to do because they're too naive to leave a person.
No worries get better
You can easily make yourself sick, if she is crying and starts coughing it can start your gag reflex and makes her sick, it sounds like she is doing it on purpose since it only happens when she doesn’t get her way and specifically in arguments with you. She knows you’ll stop to help her when she makes herself sick, it’s a manipulation technique and you are allowing it. Honestly your only option is to let her get sick do NOT help her when this happens and when she’s done resume the discussion. I had a friend that would become hysterical (basically throwing a temper tantrum) when we argued but I didn’t let her antics get to me I just waited until she calmed down but I refused to console her and when she was gone we finished the argument. If you let the argument be forgotten you are still giving her what she wants, these disagreements need to be resolved her getting sick in the middle can make small arguments into bigger issues down the road.
IDK if he's just frustrated with the game or if he's bottling up other emotions, but either way it's not a healthy coping mechanism. And ignoring ur texts isn't a good sign, he needs to communicate with u if u two want to make it work. It's still early in the relationship, so try to have a calm convo with him and see if he's open to working on these issues together. If he's not willing to make an effort, then it might be time to reevaluate if this is the right relationship for you.
There is nothing wrong with the photo or you. It's on him that he has to take shit from his friends for lying to them about your bust size.
If he acted like an adult you two wouldn't be in this situation.
I don't think this is reason for break up but don't take the picture down and let him eat all the crap that is going his way for lying about you.
Off of hair (?) probably should’ve rephrased that better
You can't have sex unless you want lesbian sex, which you don't. Because you're both biologically female.
Because you're not even attempting to have a discussion at this point. You're being petty and waving off this conversation as if it's beneath you, simply because you don't disagree with what I'm saying. It's dismissive and immature.
Why do you feel guilty? She’s batshit out of her mind for expecting a $4,000 gift of any kind from a student.
How much money have you wasted on this moocher?
Ego? If he does great but I’m just trying to look out for my friend
So you changed your mind, we all do that, run it by her and if her answer is still 'No' then accept it like a good partner should!
On a side note it's a being constantly around a baby will trigger what experts call 'baby hormones' the desire to have some of your own, if that baby has not triggered those hormones on your gf, give it up stud muffin, she's probably not cut to be a mother, strike two, but don't take my word for it, I'm no expert!
At first, I told him to stop jerking off and watching porn but apparently, that has not helped
mostly it didnt help cuz he never stopped..Addiction is a hot thing to overcome…how about a trip to a licensed therapist or an actual medical doctor? turns out they both have a lot of insight into problems like this.
Which is an absolutely horrible thing to do to you, specially if you are dealing with mental health issues at the present moment, you need to set boundaries, he is messing with your head for no reason other than his baby feelings.
End it. You don’t want to date his mother, and she’s part of the package. Yikes.
I feel like I already did that with the “no pressure” comment. I don’t want to come off as actually pressuring her.
Dude, you fucked up
He hit you over a game. You let him get away with this, he will think that hitting you is acceptable. He is not your friend. Block him.
And you laughed in his face, right?
This so much!
Yes, he's preying on you and it's gross.
You can break up with someone for any reason but personally I think You're overreacting. This topic won't affect your relationship in any way shape or form.
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
They are both upset by what the other did. But only one of them is justified in that feeling.
I am appalled by the reaction of this thread. If a man behaved like OP's gf, he would get destroyed in the comments.
Nah that's well beyond reasonable
They barely know each other and he doin all that.
My boyfriend won't be out of his family's grasp for the next 5-10 years, he is still a student and will be for the next 4 years, and he plans to work under his mother (family business) afterwards.
It may very much be the only functional relationship I found myself into, usually I either get fetishised by my partners for my “special features” or ridiculed, that's why I'm clinging on this relationship, because other than this specific issue, we are fully compatible.
She sounds like she needs therapy. It is not normal to call you that many times. She is toxic
Can you go to couples counseling?
Been trying to talk to my therapist about my situation but she’s been booked, which is why I came to Reddit in the mean time. Will be more urgent with her scheduling