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1. I’ve been here. It sounds to me like maybe the one issue you struggle with the most is trust. The longer you stick around and the longer you fight through those emotions the higher the chances you have of forming that trust in someone else(as long as they prove to be a trustworthy individual). Often times we sabotage our own trust by not trusting ourselves. After all, how can we trust someone else when we don’t trust ourselves?

   Another reason we don’t trust ourselves is because of people who we’ve placed trust in that have let us down in the past. Excuse me if you already know all of this, I just feel like it needs to be said.

   The good news is that it’s something you can work on… the way our trust works is something like a percentage. Place your bet on someone and ride it out. Fight through all of those nude conversations and stick it out through this tough phase and if you have yourself someone who cares enough to stick it out then you found someone worthwhile. Unfortunate for him I know but once you become more trusting of him then you can pay him back 10 fold in the future.

   Tell him how you’re feeling and tell him that you know it sounds crazy and that you yourself don’t even believe these thoughts. Say it in the same breath as many times as you need to so that you can say what you think while also reassuring him that you know that isn’t what he’s doing.

   …Be cautious of sabotaging your relationship with controlling behavior, which can often be the case with people with trust issues. He’ll make mistakes as well as time goes on, but love is about forgiveness and if it’s rare and not a deal breaker then press on. Most importantly, be understanding.

   Lastly, look out for red flags. This might be the most challenging of all, but hey the reality is that if he sticks it out for as long as he can and then decides to leave, then blame anything but the fact that he’s “using you for your body” because while that could be true, the reality is that we all bring a lot to the table, not just our bodies, sometimes we bring emotions in need of repair and past traumas. It isn’t ideal, but hey we’re only human.

   P.S. I can think of no better fuel than in a heated terrible breakup than to prey on someone’s insecurities, so if this has happened to you or someone uses it as fuel then know the real reason.

   Personally, I think someone who is strong willed enough to change for themselves and fight past their own struggles again and again and again is very strong in the best of ways. Perfect body or not… looks fade & a body isn’t everything, true connection is, which is all any of us really want deep down.

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