Ugh. Reminds me of my ex. When I would tell him I wasn’t in the mood, he’d start touching on me and trying to turn me on anyway, saying he was “trying to get me in the mood” ? like bruh fuck off I said I don’t want to! And then he’d try to fondle me while he beat off as if I was some kinda blow up doll and not a human being. I’d forgotten how gross that felt til just now ??
Not wanting to be around a hoarder is reasonable, but if someone spoke about my parents like that I wouldn’t be able to get past it easily. I don’t know the right path to take, but you’re valid to not feel great about it
It's only a boundary if you hold it. Your boundaries are more your business than his. It's entirely up to you. Do you want to stay with someone who does things he knows hurt you, lies, breaks agreements and disrespects you? It's pretty hot to trust someone who is actively betraying your trust. And it's pretty hot to have peace without trust. If you want out and can't get out, get help. A therapist, books about attachment and codependency, your own place, a cross country move….whatever it takes.
It's your life girl. What boundaries do you want to give yourself? It's not up to him what you have to put up with, it's up to you.
Those are the reasons I got frustrated over years and made me start to look out. I still love and respect her. Those things frustrated me enough that I don't feel any excitement about our future anymore because I have realised that it is all her dreams I accepted to live!. Living in her choice of country and suburb, not having kids at all, getting a dog etc. Now she says she might want to be fine with having kid since her friends started to have kids etc.
Spying on your partner is not that grave offense. In commited relationship you should expect your privacy to be limited. That is besides the point it us how most affairs comes to light.
Polyamory often ends up exactly with breaches of rules like that.
Btw, do they remain in contact? Oh and for how many years you are actually together?
You need to leave her. You will resent her and never have full trust in her, especially when you get married. This will most likely dissolve in to divorce. So there is literally no reason to marry her, or continue this relationship. Even though you all are great together, sometimes love isn't enough.
It's not anywhere near that simple in cases of a man making a woman have a baby. Reproductive coercion and domestic violence are huge barriers to abortion. I've worked with many women who were coerced into not having an abortion under threat of harm to themselves and/or their loved ones, as well as women for whom domestic violence became even more severe during pregnancy and they were too afraid to obtain an abortion. Also women whose partners controlled their every move and finances, making obtaining an abortion something they could not do.
Just because abortion is legal doesn't mean it's possible, safe, or easy.
This is almost certainly a fake story designed to outrage and provoke enraged responses by redditors who have been cheated on.
“Oh my God, she did what! Oh my God. She's going to cheat on the cruise with the new guy she's working with who told OP that he's going to screw OP's girlfriend. And now she's going on a cruise with him. Please don't trust her.”
Yes it was a form of manipulation. People who are serious go off quietly and do it.
What you are describing is an abuse. It is impossible to overstate the danger you are in right now. Now he knows you’ll call 911 he may just shoot you next time. Get out. This is the exact situation in which women die.
This. OP abuse is abuse. Whether you are a man or a woman it doesn't bloody matter no one has the right to use physical violence on a partner for any damn reason.
Just because you are stronger doesnt mean she can hit or threaten you or even should be using verbally abusive language with u.
She's 10000% using the same threats on your child. The “stop whining or i'll give you something to cry about” or “dont piss me off before i smack you”
Growing up with multiple stupid adults who couldn't control their anger and one being an aunt. If it wasn't throwing stuff at my cousins it was being angry to the point she just wldnt give them food because she got angry at whatever they did while she was busy cooking and saw tht stopping was a fitting punishment, or literally just berating them non stop telling them how useless they were just like their dad and she was sick of seeing them and how dumb they were. My male cousin started behaving the same way with friends and eventually his gfs.. and my female cousin just turned into a shell of a girl who never defended herself because she didn't want to be yelled at.
And that way the cycle continues because when things were calm my aunt was the sweetest lady in the world.. until something doesn't go her way.
You being a man means she will keep pushing and pushing until you have to defend yourself and then she's gonna shout abuse!!!
Say you hit her. Say you are hurting her, if you do anything to make her really mad say she's gonna use it to destroy you because you are a man and no one will believe you! And then take your child away from you without you having access as the “abuser”
What do u think is gonna happen to that child then? Without you? Stuck in a home with nothing but an angry bitter woman 24/7. She's gonna turn all that hatred towards them!
Get out before it ever gets to that! If she hits you document it, if she sends u texts with language threatening you, document it, if she goes on rants belittling you, record her! If she goes around the house destroying shit. Take pictures!
Never put your kids in a position to grow up thinking this shit is normal!
Gaslightwala
Ugh. Reminds me of my ex. When I would tell him I wasn’t in the mood, he’d start touching on me and trying to turn me on anyway, saying he was “trying to get me in the mood” ? like bruh fuck off I said I don’t want to! And then he’d try to fondle me while he beat off as if I was some kinda blow up doll and not a human being. I’d forgotten how gross that felt til just now ??
Next
Not wanting to be around a hoarder is reasonable, but if someone spoke about my parents like that I wouldn’t be able to get past it easily. I don’t know the right path to take, but you’re valid to not feel great about it
If a partner punched me pretty hot, I'd be concerned too.
N I wasn't telling you to go through their phones, I was asking if they text ,sorry. Do you live! at home
It's only a boundary if you hold it. Your boundaries are more your business than his. It's entirely up to you. Do you want to stay with someone who does things he knows hurt you, lies, breaks agreements and disrespects you? It's pretty hot to trust someone who is actively betraying your trust. And it's pretty hot to have peace without trust. If you want out and can't get out, get help. A therapist, books about attachment and codependency, your own place, a cross country move….whatever it takes.
It's your life girl. What boundaries do you want to give yourself? It's not up to him what you have to put up with, it's up to you.
He is somebody willing to cheat on his wife. That is part of his character and who he is as a person. Why is that somebody you like?
Yea idk… tbh
Those are the reasons I got frustrated over years and made me start to look out. I still love and respect her. Those things frustrated me enough that I don't feel any excitement about our future anymore because I have realised that it is all her dreams I accepted to live!. Living in her choice of country and suburb, not having kids at all, getting a dog etc. Now she says she might want to be fine with having kid since her friends started to have kids etc.
Yeah that guy is abusive. GTFO as fast as possible.
Spying on your partner is not that grave offense. In commited relationship you should expect your privacy to be limited. That is besides the point it us how most affairs comes to light.
Polyamory often ends up exactly with breaches of rules like that.
Btw, do they remain in contact? Oh and for how many years you are actually together?
You need to leave her. You will resent her and never have full trust in her, especially when you get married. This will most likely dissolve in to divorce. So there is literally no reason to marry her, or continue this relationship. Even though you all are great together, sometimes love isn't enough.
It's not anywhere near that simple in cases of a man making a woman have a baby. Reproductive coercion and domestic violence are huge barriers to abortion. I've worked with many women who were coerced into not having an abortion under threat of harm to themselves and/or their loved ones, as well as women for whom domestic violence became even more severe during pregnancy and they were too afraid to obtain an abortion. Also women whose partners controlled their every move and finances, making obtaining an abortion something they could not do.
Just because abortion is legal doesn't mean it's possible, safe, or easy.
If he has to lie he shouldn’t be fucking her.
Honest to god, divorce him NOW. Do not put up with two babies for longer than necessary.
Right? She doesn't know the guy, like at all.
You are right
This is almost certainly a fake story designed to outrage and provoke enraged responses by redditors who have been cheated on.
“Oh my God, she did what! Oh my God. She's going to cheat on the cruise with the new guy she's working with who told OP that he's going to screw OP's girlfriend. And now she's going on a cruise with him. Please don't trust her.”
This is so fake
I'm sorry to hear that, sending healing vibes your way.
Leave. Pack your stuff up and get out now.
Yes it was a form of manipulation. People who are serious go off quietly and do it.
What you are describing is an abuse. It is impossible to overstate the danger you are in right now. Now he knows you’ll call 911 he may just shoot you next time. Get out. This is the exact situation in which women die.
I know firsthand how very hot it is to hold in feelings, and it isn’t easy. Be strong, the time will come where you can let it out. Good luck.
She had 2 dates in one day. Lucky girl. Dump her.
This. OP abuse is abuse. Whether you are a man or a woman it doesn't bloody matter no one has the right to use physical violence on a partner for any damn reason.
Just because you are stronger doesnt mean she can hit or threaten you or even should be using verbally abusive language with u.
She's 10000% using the same threats on your child. The “stop whining or i'll give you something to cry about” or “dont piss me off before i smack you”
Growing up with multiple stupid adults who couldn't control their anger and one being an aunt. If it wasn't throwing stuff at my cousins it was being angry to the point she just wldnt give them food because she got angry at whatever they did while she was busy cooking and saw tht stopping was a fitting punishment, or literally just berating them non stop telling them how useless they were just like their dad and she was sick of seeing them and how dumb they were. My male cousin started behaving the same way with friends and eventually his gfs.. and my female cousin just turned into a shell of a girl who never defended herself because she didn't want to be yelled at.
And that way the cycle continues because when things were calm my aunt was the sweetest lady in the world.. until something doesn't go her way.
You being a man means she will keep pushing and pushing until you have to defend yourself and then she's gonna shout abuse!!!
Say you hit her. Say you are hurting her, if you do anything to make her really mad say she's gonna use it to destroy you because you are a man and no one will believe you! And then take your child away from you without you having access as the “abuser”
What do u think is gonna happen to that child then? Without you? Stuck in a home with nothing but an angry bitter woman 24/7. She's gonna turn all that hatred towards them!
Get out before it ever gets to that! If she hits you document it, if she sends u texts with language threatening you, document it, if she goes on rants belittling you, record her! If she goes around the house destroying shit. Take pictures!
Never put your kids in a position to grow up thinking this shit is normal!
“My lease is up in September and i would like my next place to be with her.”
We have been talking lately about how you would want to get a puppy, do gardening together….
My lease is up in september. I would want my next place to be one where we live! together.
What do you think about that?