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You're not a bad person for any of this. I don't really think she is either.
It is fucking bananas that we online in a country that will let 18-year-olds take on the amount of non-dischargeable debt. Absolutely disgusting. Like I really hope that people aren't being too harsh on her in this sub, because she was very much taken advantage of. Her adult life was basically over before it started.
I don't know what this grad program is, but 65k is not enough to justify it. Hell, 125k probably isn't either. I don't have an advanced degree, and I hit that number by my 30th birthday. Whether or not you choose to stay with her, this seems like a real sunk cost fallacy at this point. She may just have to pursue a job that pays more that she likes less that doesn't require an advanced degree. While I think she was a victim on her initial loans, this just suggests she doesn't understand the role education plays in the working world, which is: less than you'd expect.
Good luck in figuring all this out, but you are not a bad person if you don't want this for your life.