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29 thoughts on “Lovelly-Carolline online webcams for YOU!”
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It sounds like he did like you quite a bit AND is a thoughtless person! I’m literally just going off the information you provided but that seems to be what happened. Someone liking you, even loving you doesn’t make them into a good person! Some people are good at behaving kindly at first but cannot sustain it. The way you’re mom was brought up, my guess is that there may have been external pressure to take you out.
I'm so sorry. In a sense, I get the girlfriend's anxiety and trust issues, HOWEVER, your friend is in the relationship with her… NOT YOU. You have every right to hold that boundary firm. She has not earned your trust. Their relationship is new and she has to earn that right. You are not making him choose between his relationship and your friend group. You are making a solid choice that “I'm not dating her thus she doesn't need to know my intimate secrets/hopes/feelings/fears.” That is tantamount to me telling my bestie I sometimes dream I'm a giant penguin and now his SO gives me penguin shirts. If I wanted them to know, I'd have told them.
Please feel free to have each and every one in your friend group state the following: Hi Friend, we know you are devoted to your relationship. Congratulations on finding a partner. That said, we are not in your relationship and need a firm cone of silence around our individual issues. Should we wish to include her, we will definitely tell her ourselves. Until we are certain that our personal information is with a trusted individual (i.e. we trust her as much as you obviously do!) We will continue to keep our information private.
We didn’t discuss that and I am not pro life, so paying for an abortion is not a moral issue for me.
Damn .. well kept us updated
Well a 5 month old relationship isn't shit, my favorite pen I use at work is older than that and it's more honest with me than you gf is with you sooooo… maybe dont do the dumbass teenager move where you ask for advice, knowing deep down the right answer, receiving the right answer, ignoring the right answer, getting fucked over, and then crying and hating the world for being in a shittier situation? Like, come on man.
Ew tfs wrong with people?
Advice? Sadly in this world expecting people to change typically turns out with disappointment. Especially when you’ve stated what you need more out of the relationship and the person straight up lies to you about how they’ll improve. I genuinely don’t get the problem here? It’s not like you’re not saying he can’t play games, but if he can’t be fucked to get off and actually spend time with you..there’s a problem.
I’d recommend more communication, even an annoyed tone would be acceptable at this point. If he gets home at like 5-6 and spends 6 hours playing a game instead of actually spending time with you that’s a problem. Idk it feels like I’m hitting a brick wall with this.
Mostly because, I feel like I’m order for a relationship to work, you need to love the person for who they are now and sure people change in their own ways as they grow but certain core things sometimes just…don’t. And while I want to believe this guy can change cause I believe anyone can if they try naked enough, the descriptions doesn’t make it exactly sound like he’s trying in any consistent manner.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope this guy can actually realize that a persons feelings and love deserves more attention then a video game does.
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I mean, you say you wouldn’t call it acceptable, you say you’re not defending the husband, but the rest of your comment is.
I agree that the main post lacks in details and op hasn’t been commenting to share more info. But I can’t really imagine what information she’d add that would make his betrayal not worthy of blame. It’s wrong to cheat on your spouse, even if you have a dead bedroom, even if you’ve been fighting, etc. Whatever is at the root of their intimacy issues still doesn’t make it okay for him to be secretly fucking sex workers. Op doesn’t need to give us the backstory to know that him cheating on her is wrong on his part. Even if op has also done wrong things, that doesn’t excuse his behavior.
And you’re right that not all sex workers have stds or are trafficked. But a large percentage do and are trafficked. And particularly when it comes to trafficking, as a customer you’re not necessarily going to be able to tell who is or isn’t. I’d never want to take the risk that the person I was fucking was a slave and I would want to be married to anyone who would take that risk.
Ultimately, though, what bugged me the most about your comments is that op is coming here asking for help after finding out her husband of 22 years is cheating on her, and your response is a mix of “well what did you do to deserve it” and “well at least he’s screwing a sex worker with no feelings involved.” That’s not even remotely helpful to her or supportive when she has unquestionably been wronged.
Step 1:Stop trying to not hurt someone's feelings all the time.
Step 2: Next time he starts taking like that, interrupt him and say, “Hey Tony, I really like you, but I really dislike the baby talk.” He will either stop immediately for good and your problems are over… or he will stop temporarily for a while then start doing it again, in which case you know that it's a personality flaw.
You aren’t compatible at all. Sex should be enjoyable not something you dread.
She doesn’t want children with you. Leave.
They were sweet and kind to me outside of the paranoia going on. No relationship is perfect
On the one hand there are racial components to this that I'm not the best person to discuss, on the other hand this may just be a case of people learning where the boundaries are with teasing/jokes. I'm someone who enjoys taking the piss out of loved ones and will joke about anything and everything however it's key to check in with each other to make sure you're not crossing a line. Sometimes you accidentally bump into that boundary unknowingly and it's awkward. From what you said here it kind of sounds like to me that maybe you guys just need a conversation about where the line is for you when it comes to these types of jokes. In my relationships I will be upfront and say this isn't something I feel comfortable joking about and will ask others if blank is something we can laugh about. Again maybe I'm completely wrong and this is a more serious issue but to me it just sounds like there needs to be a conversation about boundaries when it comes to joking with each other. The upside is whenever I can successfully navigate these situations/conversations with someone, its always been a giant green flag.
You do need to sit her down, and have a conversation with her about how you're feeling. For all you know she may be feeling the same way. You two need to discuss if this is something you both can improve on or if it is best to move on from each other. Meeting family, and having a cat doesn't automatically mean you have to stay in a relationship with someone.
It's absolutely normal to feel scared when a good friend is having health issues, and in this case he's not only your friend but also the father of your child. You're human, your ex is human, why wouldn't you care? Do your friends normally lack human empathy? Either you need better friends if that's the case. As for yourself, have you considered therapy to help process your feelings? And also do try to support your ex in any ways you can but don't forget your own self care, try to do the things that give you joy.
Could he have been a little nicer in his phrasing? Sure. But, not wanting to keep making sure you're having a good time and not uncomfortable isn't a bad thing. Especially, if drugs/alcohol is involved.
My boyfriend often doesn't want to come with me when I get drinks or go to dinner with friends, because he wouldn't really enjoy it and would most likely be uncomfortable. I don't go with him when he goes for beers with his friends, because that's not something I'm into.
You're married to a complete weirdo. Start quietly building a divorce case, start saving some money on the side, and when you feel secure, ask for a divorce.
The only reason I didn’t type out “penis” and “vagina” was just for the shits and gigs of what I actually used and I also didn’t really know what was allowed to be used on reddit since i’ve never used it before and im use to the censorship of platforms like instagram and tiktok. Thanks for the advice tho i appreciate it :p
I mean, I'm bi, if my partner had an issue with me seeing friends I could hypothetically find attractive, they would freak out every time I see *anyone*.
So yes, I am not comfortable with that sort of mentality. Either your trust your partner, or you don't date them. You can't stop someone from cheating if they want to by trying to control their social life anyway, there will always be opportunities for them to be unfaithful.
Leaving the seat up is a smart idea. And of course just talking to him honestly about it
I work in an office where there are about 30 coworkers that have English as a second to forth language. When a word comes up that someone doesn’t understand, or pronounces differently, it creates a discussion on it every time. No one has ever been upset or offended by it. In mid sentence they will stop you, ask what word you used, what it means, and say “I like that word, I’m going to start using it.” I think he is just trying to learn. If his approach bothers you, ask him to work on his delivery. The word yesterday is pronounced several different ways in my office, depending on their native language.
The thing is, seens like he doesnt feel safe to be himself around you anymore, like if anytime he relax a bit and go back to be his old self (spending some money with himself, do a less amount of chores, eat the junk food he likes, being more emotionally open to you, being a goofy guy around the closest ones), you and everybody will leave him, and the reason he is like that with everybody is because when you gave him the ultimatum, EVERYONE, his family, friends, everyone sided with you, so he basically dont feel safe to be himself with anyone, because he think once he do that he will be left you like you said you would do.
I know that you want him to be happy and to do think he likes, but will not be easy to make him feel confortable enough be be himself around you once again, talk with his counselor about this and his help.
Edited for readability:
This is all sort of a doozy, so apologies in advance for anything that doesn’t seem to make sense. It doesn’t really make sense to me, hence why I’m coming here and seeking advice on how to move past this. I have been with my husband (DH) for ten years, married for five. He introduced me to his extended family early on, making it clear that his uncles and aunts and cousins are all very important to him and that they are very close as a large family. From the beginning I’ve gotten along with every family member I’ve met—I’ve been sweet, beyond cordial, and the first one to offer to clean after a celebration or bring a dish to share for a party. Until about six week ago, I have had no real “drama” with any of these people. One cousin who is close in age to my husband and me, Marmot, is kind of a lot as a person—there is literally not a single person we mutually know who she hasn’t shit talked extensively to me and she’s done a few things to me (unexpectedly leaving me stuck with expensive restaurant and hotel bills costing me upwards of $2k) that have made me realize I cannot trust her fully. After I gently confronted her after the first incident, she lied to my face and refused to take any personal responsibility, so I quickly learned the smartest thing I can do is enjoy her company when it’s positive and understand she’ll never be a real friend. Marmot’s brother, Husband’s cousin Zebra, started dating a girl, Kangaroo, about four years ago. From the start Husband said she was trouble and emotionally manipulating the entire family, including Zebra. I was excited to potentially have a girlFRIEND in the family, so I pushed aside Husband’s warnings, and those of my close girlfriends, who also met her and said she was not a good person. She is hopelessly insecure and she and Zebra constantly lie to each other. Moreover, she has always battled with Zebra’s mom Lemur and his sister Marmot. I totally understand what it’s like to be in an enmeshed family, so whenever Kangaroo would vent to me about Lemur, I tried to be an open ear while also making it clear that I had never seen Lemur be anything but kind to her. When Marmot would come up in these (and this is probably my biggest error) vent sessions, I usually said nothing but once did mention that Marmot has hurt my feelings in the past, so I did understand that she was in a tough place. Six weeks ago, about a week after I had casual drinks with Kangaroo and mostly chatted about potential wedding plans, Zebra called Husband screaming that I ruined his life. According to him, I… Told Kangaroo that Zebra routinely hung out with an ex of his Baited Kangaroo into talking shit about Marmot and Lemur, and that actually she loved them until I tried to convince her they were evil Have had secret meetings with Marmot and Lemur, which Marmot confirmed, to specifically talk shit about and make them hate Kangaroo Literally none of it’s true. I am far from a perfect human and am willing to take personal responsibility when it’s time, but these are all lies. Thankfully I have an amazing husband and Husband told Zebra to fuck off with his lies. Zebra ended the call saying it was all really unfortunate, because he liked me, and he wanted Husband and him to “be cool” again. Husband reiterated that anyone who made up or was complicit in lies about his wife was not welcome in his life. I got a text from Marmot a few days later saying that I betrayed her and to not contact her for several months and “maybe” we can work this out then. Her mother Lemur who cried to me at my rehearsal dinner thanking me for what I’ve done for the family and father Pangolin, who told Husband he gives him more respect than his own son, have totally ghosted us. Typing all of this out seems to make it clear that these people are absolutely nuts. They’re known liars, and this time they’re lying at and about me. And yet I’m having so much trouble letting go. These are people I’ve had fun with, shared holiday memories with, had at my wedding. I’ve never been treated like this and I’m having trouble coping and moving on. HELP!!
With the early context you provided, I wanted to try to find a way to make this some sort of gray area. To be clear, before the post started, after just having read the title, I'd have fully said that it was absolutely unacceptable.
Unfortunately, everything essentially becomes irrelevant when you say that she did what she did to get back at you for how you've treated her over the last few weeks. She literally just told you “I cheated on you because I'm mad at you.” Let's put things into perspective before continuing; if it were a guy and she told you that, would you “not know” how to feel about it? If you made out with a woman and gave the same excuse, you think she'd be good with it? Obviously not.
Now that she's sobered up a bit, she's reversing every single thing she said. It was a meaningless kiss. Not what she said last night. Lasted a second? Not exactly how a makeout works. Wasn't meant to hurt you? She said it literally was.
So let's now look at the big picture here; how would you be overreacting? She cheated on you. That's a fact. But now let's look further; she's moving and you're not. Is this really going to work? Good luck.
thank you, you're right 🙂
Well, the 18th was National Sloppy Joe Day. Did she make you sloppy joes?
ok I see, thank you
yep. i've had friends' phones in my purse during drunk outings and parties. I don't think I ever made it home with their phones but it could happen, easily. and on the other side of that I definitely have woken up like “where's my phone?” not realizing that a friend of mine ended up with it while we were out the night before. It's just not that weird.
And while I'm a little confused why she charged it in the bathroom, it is not really suspicious to me. It's an odd choice but if it was something she was trying to hide she wouldn't put it in the bathroom where OP would find it.
“Do what I say or I’ll break up with you” isn’t a respectful relationship. Avoiding doing anything that could possibly make you uncomfortable isn’t a respectful relationship. It’s an emotionally abusive relationship. Do you want to be an emotionally abusive partner?