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Well he is 22 so he is going to make some immature comments and have some thoughts like that for awhile. You're probably just mature than he is atm.
I was looking for someone to finally say it in the comments!
He was actively thinking about killing you and/or your child. Problem was is that it would have been in the moment. So now it’s probably something he might actively plan for another situation/time in the future.
If this is really happening to you. You just got your first and possibly ONLY warning. Make a choice before he does
As for the “boyfriend/girlfriend” situation, I understand why you used the term and fair enough. The reason I asked though is because it's unfortunately quite important in terms of considering the overall situation, and especially so with Adam deciding to drop this on you.
So as it stands, the two of you are dating, as in going out on dates. To ask again, did you two discuss up front what you were looking for? Meaning, did you two talk about whether you're ultimately looking for a long term relationship or not? Many people misinterpret this discussion as suggesting you're asking for a commitment up front. That's not the case. This discussion is specifically to learn whether or not you're on the same page in terms of what you ultimately want, be it with you or anyone else. Because if he isn't looking for a relationship, then you're already wasting your time. So you need to have that discussion in conjunction with the other discussion.
As for neither of you seeing anyone else, while logically it'd be easy to make your assumption (and it might very well be the case), you absolutely can't live your life based on “figuring” or assumptions. You need to know the facts, and as it stands you don't have enough.
Before I get into the last paragraph, let me back up and tell you about me for context. I'm a guy and I'm happily married. I tell you this so that you understand I'm not here being negative for the sake of being negative. I love love and I wish you nothing but the absolute best. But I give advice on here, because I've been through it all and learned from it. I'm absolutely not at all suggesting you push for a relationship right now or put pressure on him to commit after a month, and I think it's important I say that because I realize it's coming off that way from everything I've said to this point. What I'm suggesting is that you know where you stand and know if you're on the same page, which you need to know from day 1.
To the last paragraph, let's talk about your mom. I don't know why your mom would say that to you, or what it's supposed to accomplish? That's just not a helpful statement as a response to I assume you telling your mom what you're telling us. Honestly, what if he is? He'd quite clearly be trying to sabotage your relationship. But again, the only way you figure this all about is by talking to John. I don't know why you'd need to consult with a mutual friend.
You're looking to consider every option other than the single option you need to take, which is to talk to John. In my last response, I specifically said to you that I assume you're worried about coming between them. Adam made a decision to come between you and John. He's trying to end your relationship, whether it's right or wrong. You're not trying to end their friendship. You're trying to understand your relationship. Once again, we're talking about your life. Don't forget about you.