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1. I left my ex-girlfriend of 6 years a little over a year ago. We loved each other so much, at least at the beginning.

   Her mental health challenges became a major factor in our relationship about a year into it: PTSD, depression, anxiety, all as a result of major childhood trauma (her mom has schizophrenia, and without getting into details, really fucked this girl’s childhood up).

   Those conditions manifested in days where she couldn’t get out of bed, difficulty holding down jobs, erratic mood swings, anger outbursts, inability to meet social commitments, etc. Our relationship turned from two equal partners into me becoming a caretaker, financial provider, and mental health support provider.

   Unfortunately, as much as you can love someone, that dynamic can severely impact the relationship. It is exhausting, and at least in my case, none of my emotional or physical needs were getting met, for years. I was 100% running myself into the ground in order to support a person who just couldn’t be there for me. Compound it with the fact that her mental health challenges often manifested in me getting treated like shit (screamed at, insulted, etc), it just destroyed the foundations of the romantic relationship. By the end, I don’t think either of us could remember what that early love looked or felt like.

   I finally had to decide whether I was willing to spend the rest of my life taking care of someone else. I had pushed her to get therapy, treatment, etc but progress was slow to nonexistent. At the end of the day, I just couldn’t do it anymore.

   I will always feel a little guilty about leaving her. Part of me feels like I abandoned someone who needed me. But I also realized I couldn’t fix someone else, could only destroy myself trying.

   I’m much happier since I left. I met someone else soon thereafter, am with a wonderful woman (a mental health provider, go figure) and in the most healthy, healing, supportive and loving relationship of my life.

   I have no idea how my ex is doing, we went no contact at her request after we broke up. I hear from mutual friends she’s doing alright, and I really hope that she’s ok. But that relationship was killing me.

   OP, it’s hot to understand how challenging it is to be with someone who’s mental health is negatively impacting you. I have no idea what your girlfriend’s experience was like, but if it was anything like mine, she is probably relieved at the moment to be only be responsible for herself. Treating your mental health is your responsibility, not hers, and letting your treatment lapse might have affected her in ways you can’t see. All I can really say is I’m sorry you’re both going through this, and I only hope you get your treatment plan back on track and keep it on track for yourself. You can’t be in a mutually beneficial and healthy relationship without taking a proactive approach to your treatment.

   Hope this long ass posts helps provide a little view through the looking glass. Best of luck to both of you.

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