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If she does “fucked up” things, she is not even remotelly close to an “amazing woman”. Timeline doesnt matter, the fact that she did it – does.
But why did you break up?
You seem to be taking this really personally and want to start a fight, strange. No one is saying neurotypical people don’t also commit crimes. There’s also a genetic link in autism so it’s not so out there that some of his behaviours might be impacted by him being on the spectrum. Op has cited communication issues between them, meltdowns, tantrums.
Autistic people are overrepresented in the cjs. I’m doing a masters in forensic mental health. There are various reasons for this, such as being more likely to confess to crimes, and also more visible etc. I also never said that autistic people aren’t victims of crimes too, however, that doesn’t negate that their impairment can result in criminal behaviour.
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Hm this is an interesting situation. I think regardless of whether or not you are any type of problem / issue in this scenario, your boyfriend is the one who is struggling to maintain his relationships regardless of your actions. Those are his to maintain and you're not holding him at gunpoint to continue hanging out. I think you need to have a convo with him and explain that his friends and family miss them and he needs to be more considerate of those relationships. You love him a lot but also want to make sure you don't get stuck in your own bubble.
It's easy to do when in love, but you gotta break out of it and he may need your push. I don't think you're doing anything wrong, but maybe more motivation from you to push him towards his friends is necessary
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I will only address your main issue. Yes, you need to tell your boyfriend. Your own safety far outweighs his relationship with his brother. Make a plan and keep your phone on you to call the police if needed
Discovered and done , like a boss
Life's too short to be worried about this sort of thing. You're young, have fun, let her have fun. Let her go to the party and find another girlfriend.
Thank you for taking the time to read the post! Her parents are quite controlling, she doesn’t get along with them because of the way they treat her (comments on her weight etc. when she isn’t overweight at all) They do put a lot of stress on her when she goes back home and we speak about it quite often. I think they had a nude time accepting me initially because we come from very different cultures but her father has recently shared the intention to visit my country after her graduation and to show them around which we are currently putting together an itinerary for so I’m hoping we’re moving in a positive direction. The change in behavior in the bedroom began new years 2022, so it’s been about a year, many conversations about family pressure about what her plans are after grad since so it could be a factor. Also congratulations on the baby! Wish you the best on your journey!
That’s grounds for breaking up lmao I would not let that slide
First, this is why you don’t demand a headcount, it can get in your head. Second, gf does not need to be treated shabbily for her past, because it’s her past. Btw, 9 at age 30 is not a “bad” number. Third, not her fault she experienced things you missed out on, don’t blame her for your decisions. Fourth, if this bothers you so much, then it’s time to move on, and the reason isn’t because gf is so “experienced”, it because you don’t want to settle down yet, there is a lot of life you want to experience. So to recap, it’s not her, it’s you, it’s time to move on.
If you want to break up because of your insecurities then it is your descision. What I will tell you before that is that you will have a nude time to find someone you did not have a history of at least some sexual partners.
My advise would be to maybe go and search for a therapist that will help you with these feelings.
Friend, they don't think you sound like a jackass…
Men are programmed to want to sleep with multiple women. Whether they choose to act on this or not is their decision.
A thing happens when a woman gets pregnant where she’s suddenly terrified of the future now that she’s responsible for a human life. She wants stability and certainty for her and her baby.
Given that, don’t get married or propose just because she’s having a baby. She deserves for her partner to WANT to marry her. And you’ll end up resenting her.
Be very involved in her pregnancy, and when the baby comes, pick up more than half the dirty work of parenting: late nights, diapers, feeding, bathing, doctors appointments, illness, booking photographers and touring daycares. Pick up the executive labor of parenthood.
But if marriage is a fundamental difference, this is the road to resentment for your relationship anyway. She’ll resent you for not wanting to marry her or you’ll resent her for making you. Good luck.
He didn’t insult him. He said it was wrong and he understands the frustration. Using your example, he basically said it would be wrong to insult innocent surgeons but I understand being frustrated by so many surgeons being negligent and reckless.
Is your boyfriend ridiculously good looking ? I don’t see why there would be so many girls just flirting with him all day , seems kind of strange . One I could see , but he could easily shut it down . Seems more like he doesn’t want to shut it down completely and likes the flirting and possibly harmlessly does it back .
Wearing heels is a choice and comparing that to the STD which is not a choice isn’t an equal comparison. Can you really be mad at someone over something they have absolutely no choice over? I understand not wanting to be w them after either revelation but choice vs no choice isn’t comparable
Whereas being w someone who wants to and likes to wear high heels is a choice also. You’re into BDSM in which she isn’t but allows very infrequently for your behalf. It just seems y’all are into different things and as you go along are finding out y’all may not be sexually compatible
I don't think very many people would consider it rape if you consented each time.
Convincing you to have sex is shitty, but I don't think it would be rape, not in the legal sense anyway.
Tell him to run away as fast as he can, no guilt for you and save eachother from pain ?
Yes, we online together.
She's a manipulator, and it's time to completely cut her out of your life. As for your uncle, I would go NC with him too. He's a creep.
This wouldn’t happen if he could decide either what happens to the baby or what happens to him when the baby came.
I think people in this post as being too harsh with their responses. I absolutely agree that she was starting an emotional affair on her end, even if he wasn’t reciprocating. Maybe she didn’t even fully realize what was happening because the messages hadn’t crossed into any kind of romance territory. Her lying to you is really part of this that makes me think you need to be wary. But I think her immediate agreement to stop talking to him shows willingness to change. She ultimately didn’t argue with you, she didn’t try to give you a bunch of excuses, and she didn’t try to hold on to the relationship. I think it’s ok to give her a chance to turn things around and hope that this is the wake-up call that she needed.
there was no desired response. but no one wants unreasonable criticism & false accusations. random ppl saying i need therapy & im controlling is odd when they don’t even know me. get a life instead of attacking a random woman on the internet who’s seeking genuine advice instead of your unwanted so called “opinions.” I got my advice and it wasn’t through these bitter replies.
You're probably going to catch a lot of heat so be prepared but if you're feeling really guilty, tell her. I don't personally think it's that big of a deal. I'd be mildly irritated if my wife told me but I'm a little different than most people.
If you do tell her, you have to tell her everything, including the photo because it was a bit over the line.
that’s so fucking cruel and sadistic wtf.. reading this shit made me mad on your behalf. it sounds like the girl got jealous that you’re another girl in the group and wanted to purposefully embarrass you. the fact that his friends were all pointing and laughing at you and he did nothing but join it. and when you left, he never apologized or even checked up on you and even was yelling at you with his friends is so fucked up. and is now making you apologize to him for you “embarrassing him to his friends”?? wtf?? him and all his friends are a bunch of assholes. the fact that they doing all of this at they grown ages is beyond me.
pack his shit and end the relationship with this guy. him and his friends don’t respect you. i’m so sorry this has happened to you OP, you deserve so much better.
Are you in America? Here if someone has lived somewhere over a year only an eviction can do it and that can take up to a year.
I have an appointment, but it's three months from now. I know we will never be a thing, when I'm looking at it from distance, I can see that age gap apart, we would never be a good couple.
I try
Shit ? that’s awful. We are very lucky over here. I’m sorry to hear that.
She is an adult and therefore old enough to deal with her situation….the one SHE GOT HERSELF INTO.
Delete the email, don't reply. She is part of a hurtful past and your grown more wise since then.
She wasn't a friend, she was barely an aquaintance.
You know what they say about karma, it is indeed a B!tch and she found out.