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Sounds like my mom
Sounds definite like she has interests in your best friend and was using you as her cover so she could slide into his DMs. I'm hoping he didn't show interest or flirt back or else your best friend isn't a best friend.
I think it’s similar to the rules on when police can come in your house uninvited – if you have reasonable suspicion that you’re going to find evidence of something nefarious because your partners been acting shady then it’s okay. If you’re doing it because you’re insecure or just want to be nosy then it’s an invasion of privacy.
My friend got into a similar situation so he gave her a taste of her own medicine. Plus, he would introduce her to everyone he wanted to be friend with. It seem to work well as they’re now married.
He said that he convinced himself to have an erection and then he lost it after sometime.
This doesn’t sound true. It sounds like he’s full of shit and just saying that to make me think that he hasn’t enjoyed sex with other women.
That's a shame, he wasn't able to make time for just a phone call? While it's his birthday and he should do what he wants, I find that a bit inconsiderate
Girl that was planned ? she had a bag packed and happened to be there while you came there before you went. You don’t speak Spanish, he 100% knew wtf was up you cannot convince me otherwise
I get where you’re coming from and I don’t think you watching porn is the main reason here.
Women too oggle male celebs, read smut novels , and even chick flicks have plenty of shit that appeals to women’s sexual/romantic fantasy. Porn is just like chick flick tor men.
You liked the modesty in her and reserving her sexy side only for you is another level of exclusivity and now she took that away from your relationship
Stop watching porn and see if her behaviour changes. If she doesn’t, She’s behaving that way for some other reason and porn is just an easy scape goat
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Serious question, why do you want to share childrearing duties with someone who doesn't brush his teeth?
She is reacting out of fear and rage of being caught. An innocent person would be wondering what you are on about. He response is not one of innocence. Given that, do you want to stay with someone you cannot trust?
Marriage counseling might help but you both have to want it and work at it. If one side is not doing their part, just end it. You cannot fix it alone no matter how much you want to.
Change the locks.
I'm concerned that since he is a Reddit user, he might see this before she is ready. Also if he doesn't want to divorce for religious reasons, your may want to get copies of the posts saved in case he tries to hide that. If the rest of the family has similar values, it would be good to have something to show he is the problem. I assume a lawyer can give guidance on this?
thats not true. limerence can be treated with proper therapy and support. he needs help right now not judgment
The fact that you're a grown ass man and cannot put your parents in place shows me that YOUR the problem here.
Wow the 37 year old who pursued a teenager is now a pushy creep!? Who could have thought. Adult men who chase barely legal jailbait are known for being so well-balanced and emotionally intelligent! /s
Seriously OP,take the advice here given. I personally would not be comfortable letting a child grown up around someone like that. Pushy and aggressive people really never “grow” out of it,they just look for new ways to bully and new targets.
At this point it's where I'm headed. I love him a lot but in the end it feels like he's trying to mold me into someone else. I let that happen once years ago, and ended up going autopilot for 2 years.
Your parents trust you with your sisters life and care.
You've accepted that hardship and attend to it dutifully and without question when needed.
Who is some dipshit girlfriend to question that?
Stop all contact attempts with her, and accept that she tried to level some pretty vile accusations against you and your father.
She's not worth it.
I mean if you two truly planned the child then wouldn't it be as simple as reminding him of the moment you both decided to have a kid?
Cant be a trap if you both agreed.
There was a post here a month ago about wife finding out or at least thinking that her husband microwaved her birth control pills so he could have a kid….
Where did you found gem like this?
You're right. He's gross.
Find a safe way to cut him out.
Only date guys your age for a while.
Better advice is just don't date at all for a while but, see above if that's not an option.
What is romantic exactly to you…. platonic yes but romantic no. Romantic has also the action of love!!! And what you are describing is friendships. True friendships can have all what you said without the sex attraction. Are you happy in your life?
Dude. This girl is obviously not gonna drop her exes just because you expressed your feelings on it.
Just move on. There are better women out there that will understand where you are coming from and has the same views on the issue.
You shouldn't ever have to snoop on your partners privacy. Just breakup at that point and move on.
My brother in law did this to my sister for years and she convinced herself (read:was gaslighted into believing) it wasn’t abuse. Then, after two kids, he punched her in the face and slammed her head into a wall.
You know what he’s doing is wrong. Believe in yourself and leave before you get trapped co-parenting with your abusive ex.
Man the way that cone would magically be gone and destroyed. Gf would be gone too, seems you either need to rehome the cat or the gf asap
Lmao.
Experience actually shows you what necessary in order for a relationship to work.
100% of the time that I have ever caught or seen a guy snoop through my phone it was bc he was the one stepping out and was paranoid I was doing the same.
Why are you even hesitating? You just saw the real man you are about to marry. Don't do it. Get your kids away from this violent, unstable man!! He PUNCHED your window in! What will it take for you to leave — a punch to the face??
Have you done a pregnancy test???
Thank you for this.
Also will consider trying therapy.
I understand why you say that, but I think it does play a roll. I pay for a slight majority in mortgage each month as well as all appliances, things that need fixed (plumbing issues, etc), pots/pans, all of that.
So with that, as well as it being my home, I feel that I can have someone over when I want
Most of the porn I watch I would never want to do in real life. Porn + masturbation is different from what I want in sex.
texting with someone is a worse way communicating in every single aspect, why would you wanna text before meeting up makes no sense
he’s a level 100 people pleaser
You already know, on some level, that your entire relationship with him is just going to be this lack of boundaries, over and over and over again.
So when it's finally too much and you snap, know that you saw this, and you chose it. This is not going to improve unless he gets help some day. Not gonna improve ONE bit.
Why would you get married at 20 years old?…..
If they're married (which seems to be the case according to the profile creeps), presumptive paternity makes it legally his kid regardless.
States generally make money off ordering child support, so they have incentives to assist in this sort of abuse.
If she tries to reupload it without your consent it would be revenge porn, and depending on what state you are in, you can take legal action. Also, a lot of sites will take it down if you request.
Jesus was he expecting you to go to a church and become a nun while you waited on him again?
OP you can't fix this.. it's a HIM issue. If he can't get over it. That's it!
What are u gonna do keep apologizing for living your life while you weren't together?
For being human? And trying to move on?
Do u want to get guilted everytime u have sex with him and feel like shit?
If he isn't willing to get over it like a fucking adult! Or go seek therapy for again HIS!!! insecure and unreasonable issues.
This relationship is doomed and ur constantly gonna be apologetic for shit that u have no reason to be apologizing for.
I don’t know if I was clear in my post, with other comments I clarified that it was before we knew each other and apparently nothing happened.
What has your wife or Jim done to earn forgiveness? Have they repented? What have they done to try to make amends for their deceit?
Is it worse to cause a rift in the community than it is to allow them to continue to deceive everyone? Confession is good for the soul, so urge them to confess to the congregation.
If it were me, I would file for divorce and request full custody (not that I think you are likely to get it, mostly so the kids won't doubt that you want them). You need to do what is best for you and your kids. Maybe that means keeping the lies and deceit secret, but I have doubts about whether that kind of thing can be kept secret for forever. It's better to come out in a controlled way than to have your kids do a genealogy DNA test and find out on their own at some point in the future.
They're both female. 😉