Haraanna on-line sex chats for YOU!
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Oh sweetheart, I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry you lost your daughter, and I'm sorry the people who should be taking care of you and grieving with you during such an awful time are trying to force you to pretend you're over it so they don't have to be uncomfortable.
You aren't ruining anything over a dress. You're leaving a toxic situation because they've proven they will crush the life out of you if it will make them a teensy bit more comfortable. If anything, THEY ruined a wedding over a dress. You were willing to go ahead with something you didn't feel ready for if you could just hold onto a piece of your daughter while you did it, and they couldn't even give you that.
Do not meet him alone. Bring your MOH, and meet him in public. If he wants to stay together, make couples therapy a condition. (But think long and very hot about whether this is something you want, and if ignoring your wishes and needs is something he does regularly).