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I guess its because in my brain i’ve programmed myself to have this…. thing where I believe every time i tell someone i love them, they end up leaving me.
This might be a psychological issue pertaining to abandonment if it affects you from doing healthy behavior. Therapy is usually recommended if you have not gone already. Relationships ending shouldn't be thought of as it being left behind. They end for a reason and it didn't work out and its not because you say the l-word. It has more to do with behavior and compatibility majority of the time. Some of which is fixable and just a normal stage to do some personal growth or maybe not something you need to fix and just need to find a better fit.