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If they went on dates, then he's more than just a guy best friend. I think you have several issues here most in the form of red flags that was pointed out by u/eeeeeeeeEeeEEeeeE6. I think overall you have an additional which if not addressed will eventually have negative impact in your mental health as well as the relationship. The problem is the imbalance of power. I know many times people see a power imbalance in the form of age gap, occupation position, earnings and/or position in society, but I believe a balance in power can also be created by normalizing double standards.
You had a female friend interested in joining you for a run. Your girlfriend was uncomfortable with it and so to put her at ease you didn't go. However, when you mention to your girlfriend about something that you are not comfortable with she doesn't feel the need to put you at ease by doing exactly what she expected you to do. Now that in itself is a problem but what's bigger is that you let it slide and not hold her accountable. I assume it's because you either didn't want to rock the boat too much or deep down you believe she is willing to leave you and so you suck it up. That fear you have shows an imbalance of power. You are putting up with things you are uncomfortable with because you are afraid of losing the relationship. She on the other hand doesn't care.
Immature people create immature relationships and just like teaching a child a lesson, sometimes you the only way to learn something is wrong or feels bad is when you experience it yourself. I'm not suggesting you go texting girls to make her jealous, that would be manipulative. I'm suggesting you return the energy she's giving you. If a friend wants to run with you, and it bothers your girlfriend, she can join you if that makes her feel better or suck it up. It's not on you to ease her mind by making the sacrifice. This is the standard she has set in a relationship, and a standard you have agreed to by not setting firm boundaries. That's fine, but you are only harming your mental health and your relationship by not setting firm boundaries.
Also, there is something that is very inconsistent in your story. Usually when you have inconsistencies, there is more to the picture that you're not getting. Though he was out of town he was still messaging your girl this entire time right, so why did she tell you a year after dating that she has a guy best friend who you hint at is quite a bit older. Did you ask when did they meet? How did they meet? Did anything ever go beyond dates? If they went on dates clearly they were seeing if they were compatible, so why didn't it work out? I feel like there are many questions here that are unanswered that could shed a lot of light on the situation.
Like if they met only a year before you were in the picture, and she's calling him her guy best friend, chances are that just a given title for you to accept them being in contact. Same thing with the age, if she was like 16, and he was 21 when they met, then he may be a groomer and she is too naive to see past the attention she's getting from an older man. If they never panned out because of social judgement due to the age gap, him moving or simply because he didn't want anything other than a sexual relationship. Did you only find out that she has a guy best friend a year into the relationship because that's when he started to suddenly hit her up or vice versa?
There are too many inconsistencies that maybe you just left out. However, if you don't have the answers, then red flags keep piling on. While you work on communicating and getting answers you can on-line with, you need to learn how to match energy. Stop giving more than you are getting because that's the standard you are setting.