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Get out while you're still young, even if it means hot times for a while.
Making you feel like you can't leave is by design. This is a man who at the age of 39 decided it would be a good idea to date someone just out of high school.
Good people make mistakes. Good people fuck up all the time. We’re human and shit happens.
He probably thought, in theory, he'd be okay with it. But once it started playing out and you having sex with men that are not him, he quickly came to hate it and got it over with. And he wants to remain strong but probably doesn't look at you the same way after that day. He's probably suffering inside but doesn't want to directly show it. Your marriage is over
I would not assume you have BPD based on this. Rather, your ex gaslit the shit out of you, straight up lied, emotionally abused you, and you have internalized it all to be your fault.
The only thing you should have and could have done earlier is dump his shitty, cheating ass.
Find a really good therapist and work with them to figure out why you stayed and how to unfuck your mind after all of his garbage.
Totally agree. If I saw the comic I’d feel sorry for her, not because I’d think OP was awful but because she is making a spectacle of her own poor coping. I feel guilty about it but the word that fits best is “pathetic.”