Yeah I can see that your just a shit person to be with. Hopefully your partner (if you even have one) leaves you because of something small and stupid. I don’t think you know how a relationship work.
You already said it yourself. I think you truly need to work on your on self-esteem and trust issues. Maybe therapy would be a good idea. And yes, it’s scary to think that people can theoretically just fall out of love or change their mind at any minute. But that’s life and it will never change, so you need to learn how to deal with the fact and how to build some trust. Also, cheating and meeting someone can happen everywhere, not just at parties and people can’t stop living their life completely. It’s just a risk you have to take when in a relationship.
And I’ve got to say, when you’re that young setting up the rule that you can’t go out partying or clubbing alone does not sound healthy to me. Especially when it’s rooted in so much insecurity.
The problem is that she's a masculine aggressive women and the more you are masculine, the more you'll be annoyed by it. You and she are likely very similar, very nude headed and willing to stand up to criticism, and ultimately two people who think very logically about life.
The problem is that men in particular love hierarchy. We like leaders and followers, and both you and her are both leaders so you both lead a party of one (yourself).
Despite all of this, it’s just not healthy for you. In a marriage, someone would gladly be upfront and open with you. Even if it was annoying or even if they thought you were just being insecure. They would let you have a look and keep going till you found out. It’s definitely not what you think. I wish you well with this.
Bro she's treating you like crap. You are responsible for putting some boundaries around your communication with her to protect yourself from future heartbreak.
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She isn’t your friend. She’s probably very insecure and jealous of you, and she is trying to steal your man to make herself feel good and feel like she’s better than you. Cut her out from your life and get your bf to block her.
Oh I’d would make it known that I will under no circumstances tolerate that forceful behavior. Period. If I say no, it means no. And if he can’t understand that he best go in the other room because I will defend myself.
who even gets their second tattoo on their hand?? everyone is going to ask about it and OP is gonna have to keep hearing him explain about how much he loves his bestie. also it sounds like they didn't even get the agreed upon love you, ff xoxo which means he was just lying to her. i would not be cool with this at all.
You keep saying 100% but make sure she’s at 100%. Pick someone who picks you too because she’s gaslighting you to hide her emotional affair. I think it’s nude to not realize you’re getting butterflies for a coworker and texting him all day long. Like let’s cut through the old crap cake here brother
Sorry, I know this is crazy long but here's the final part. All this culminated in me getting 2 Ubers to get us home, one to my place to get my things, and one to his as he had work the next day and didn’t want to stay at mine – fair enough. We argued more when we got home because I wasn't being affectionate enough. I don't remember much of what was actually said or done, it's all pretty patchy. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is him saying “what do you mean, WOMAN” in the most disgustingly condescending way I've ever heard. He immediately apologised and said he went too far. I was just in shock, I've never heard him speak like that. He tried to initiate sex when we went to bed which obviously upset me. He said “sorry I want to have sex with my girlfriend” and went to sleep.
I'm just a mess. I know I have to leave. I don't feel strong enough. I know someone who loves me, calls me the love of their life, wouldn't treat me like this. There's still part of me that wants to believe I'm the problem so I can fix myself and fix the relationship, but after last night I'm starting to think it's him.
Yup. Unless OP were on board from the beginning, she really just wants to keep him around for the emotional safety net but still wants to keep her options open.
I think a fair question to ask yourselves and then each other is “what do I/you need to move forward?”. Your post doesn’t describe your entire history together and it’s not up for me (or anyone really) to decide who’s fault is it because it’s all shades of gray.
Yeah, the second you run into any woman that expects you to cover her bills / pay for her meals and buy her things? Run. Don't give people like that the time of day.
Maybe I'm missing something here. Sounds to me that this was during one dance. The guy made a move, she turned her head, both times, to avoid his actions. OP jumps up and tells the guy to piss off. Seems to me that she did do something to stop it. OP is throwing a fit and angry with his girlfriend for this?
okay so the failure rate of ligations are higher than with bisalps. While overall that risk if small, it does increase over time and if she were to get pregnant, it would likely be ectopic, which could require surgery or if not caught in time, it could kill her. That alone would be enough for me to get the comparatively low risk vasectomy.
However, it sounds like she's kind of just resentful that she's been the one to bear the burden of birth control, the risks of pregnancy, birth, etc and wants you to step up so to speak to even the score. Whether thats fair or reasonable is up to you to decide. I think this would be a discussion best had in couples therapy.
A vasectomy in addition to a tubal ligation seems a bit much. It is a totally unnecessary medical procedure that you don't need to spend money on or be in pain over. How you convince her is the question.
I've definitely dated people who were like this. It was exhausting and I didn't realize how bad it was until after I got out of the relationships and couldn't figure out why I wasn't exhausted all the dang time.
This should end your relationship. If she would lie about her age, what else has she lied to you about that you just haven't discovered yet?
And she lied to you because she knew you (hopefully) wouldn't have dated her if you knew how old she really was. She is perfectly comfortable lying to you in order to get what she wants.
I've had the religious thing from coworkers too. I'm an atheist, among other things that don't make me compatible with religion, but I had several colleagues at an old job believe I was hyper Christian conservative.
I realized the reason for that was my standards of professionalism. I dressed conservatively for work and didn't like to talk much about my personal life. I didn't really tell coworkers if I was dating or going out or talk about my hobbies, because I like to keep my home and work lives separate. I even had coworkers who thought I didn't drink when I was actually an alcoholic, just because I didn't talk about drinking.
So your husband may be in a similar boat where he just doesn't talk about his personal life at work. Because people are nosy, they tend to fill in the gaps in those situations and “really religious” is a go to when someone is quiet and dresses well.
He most likely is just a almost 40 year old looking for a nude 21 yr old to cheat on his relationship with and he is manipulating you with saying he is in an open relationship. Listen to your girls, they have your back.
She is getting ready to cheat, the guy at work has turned her head, I’ve seen it several times, her defensiveness gives it away, follow your instincts. I am petty, I’d book into the hotel just because and watch the show
Also a possibility to add, I’ve never met them and they haven’t met me. What do you think about me meeting you after and staying. We can still celebrate bday together. If she says yes get her some flowers and nice gift etc . If she says know, hopefully she will be able to explain calmly so you get a better understanding of her reasoning and how she feels about it.
Yes, I was thinking that as well. If she is collapsing multiple times during the day, she can’t be trusted with infant care.
There seems to be some kind of narrative that OP is “making” her faint because she is stressing her out. That is not the case. Baby care is stressful. Being in a house with young children and a mixed aged family is stressful. This is not the right environment for an ailing woman who is losing her mind and body functioning.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Why is it so nude for me (23f) to accept that my boyfriend (23m) or ex boyfriend doesn’t want to be with me anymore? A couple days ago he told me that he still has the feelings he’s missing out and wants to be or have sex with other people. I wasn’t surprised because he came to me about this a couple times before but on my side of things I thought everything was getting better. We started going to the gym, doing more things and working on ourselves. We’ve been together almost everyday for the past 2 years, do everything together etc. Recently he made a friend at work and has been getting out and doing more which I’m really supportive of because he doesn’t have any friends. The other night I asked him how he was feeling and he told me about the FOMO. Of course I’m upset but feel like there’s nothing I can do. He told me he loves me and it’s nothing that I’ve done but the romantic feelings for me fade in and out and he can’t stop a wondering eye but thinks he could spend the rest of his life with me. As he was breaking up with me he told me he didn’t want to hurt me anymore and do it in the most respectful way and then said “I’ll probably regret this”. Well why say things like that and toy with me? We’ve been broken up for 4 days but we live! together, i’m pretty sure he downloaded tinder the next day he broke up with me (I was being psycho crazy and found his pf) How do I not let this bother me or move on? I also don’t have the option to move out. I love him so much but I can’t just wait for him to come back to me. Do I just let him explore his options to realize he messed up?
Leave , the message exposed him
U don’t own any of them
Wow, thanks a lot. He just figured it out.
How is he the loser when you openly admit that you’re a selfish cunt?
It is cowardly to break up with someone via FaceTime and you already know it.
Yeah I can see that your just a shit person to be with. Hopefully your partner (if you even have one) leaves you because of something small and stupid. I don’t think you know how a relationship work.
You already said it yourself. I think you truly need to work on your on self-esteem and trust issues. Maybe therapy would be a good idea. And yes, it’s scary to think that people can theoretically just fall out of love or change their mind at any minute. But that’s life and it will never change, so you need to learn how to deal with the fact and how to build some trust. Also, cheating and meeting someone can happen everywhere, not just at parties and people can’t stop living their life completely. It’s just a risk you have to take when in a relationship.
And I’ve got to say, when you’re that young setting up the rule that you can’t go out partying or clubbing alone does not sound healthy to me. Especially when it’s rooted in so much insecurity.
The problem is that she's a masculine aggressive women and the more you are masculine, the more you'll be annoyed by it. You and she are likely very similar, very nude headed and willing to stand up to criticism, and ultimately two people who think very logically about life.
The problem is that men in particular love hierarchy. We like leaders and followers, and both you and her are both leaders so you both lead a party of one (yourself).
Jesus at what point do you actually sit down and take these comments to heart
Despite all of this, it’s just not healthy for you. In a marriage, someone would gladly be upfront and open with you. Even if it was annoying or even if they thought you were just being insecure. They would let you have a look and keep going till you found out. It’s definitely not what you think. I wish you well with this.
Why do you think she is acting this way towards me?
You answered your question the paragraph above with
she says she’s confused about her feelings but can’t let me go
Talk to her, listen to her, see what she has to say, speak your truth to her. You want her back, let her know.
Hey this is really helpful thanks!
Maybe you guys could just use strapons and stuff.
Maybe it’s an old profile?
Bro she's treating you like crap. You are responsible for putting some boundaries around your communication with her to protect yourself from future heartbreak.
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She isn’t your friend. She’s probably very insecure and jealous of you, and she is trying to steal your man to make herself feel good and feel like she’s better than you. Cut her out from your life and get your bf to block her.
I wish I could change the title to “he said I had narcissistic tendencies when I called him out” because from my perspective, that's what happened
She’s like a russian warship flying red flags all over and steaming right at you.
You can get out of the way or you can be sunk. Your choice.
Oh I’d would make it known that I will under no circumstances tolerate that forceful behavior. Period. If I say no, it means no. And if he can’t understand that he best go in the other room because I will defend myself.
Yeah no
Just to let you know this is a male thing. So many clients have done this and the male has always ( 85%) hated it shorter.
Males in general just prefer longer lengths.
At the end of the day you need to do what make you feel happy and good. The same way he does it for himself.
He will get over it.
who even gets their second tattoo on their hand?? everyone is going to ask about it and OP is gonna have to keep hearing him explain about how much he loves his bestie. also it sounds like they didn't even get the agreed upon love you, ff xoxo which means he was just lying to her. i would not be cool with this at all.
Oh honey no, he definitely used drugs
You keep saying 100% but make sure she’s at 100%. Pick someone who picks you too because she’s gaslighting you to hide her emotional affair. I think it’s nude to not realize you’re getting butterflies for a coworker and texting him all day long. Like let’s cut through the old crap cake here brother
Sorry, I know this is crazy long but here's the final part. All this culminated in me getting 2 Ubers to get us home, one to my place to get my things, and one to his as he had work the next day and didn’t want to stay at mine – fair enough. We argued more when we got home because I wasn't being affectionate enough. I don't remember much of what was actually said or done, it's all pretty patchy. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is him saying “what do you mean, WOMAN” in the most disgustingly condescending way I've ever heard. He immediately apologised and said he went too far. I was just in shock, I've never heard him speak like that. He tried to initiate sex when we went to bed which obviously upset me. He said “sorry I want to have sex with my girlfriend” and went to sleep.
I'm just a mess. I know I have to leave. I don't feel strong enough. I know someone who loves me, calls me the love of their life, wouldn't treat me like this. There's still part of me that wants to believe I'm the problem so I can fix myself and fix the relationship, but after last night I'm starting to think it's him.
Yup. Unless OP were on board from the beginning, she really just wants to keep him around for the emotional safety net but still wants to keep her options open.
I think a fair question to ask yourselves and then each other is “what do I/you need to move forward?”. Your post doesn’t describe your entire history together and it’s not up for me (or anyone really) to decide who’s fault is it because it’s all shades of gray.
Yeah, the second you run into any woman that expects you to cover her bills / pay for her meals and buy her things? Run. Don't give people like that the time of day.
Maybe I'm missing something here. Sounds to me that this was during one dance. The guy made a move, she turned her head, both times, to avoid his actions. OP jumps up and tells the guy to piss off. Seems to me that she did do something to stop it. OP is throwing a fit and angry with his girlfriend for this?
I feel as though there must be quite a bit more to this story.
Don't work through it.
okay so the failure rate of ligations are higher than with bisalps. While overall that risk if small, it does increase over time and if she were to get pregnant, it would likely be ectopic, which could require surgery or if not caught in time, it could kill her. That alone would be enough for me to get the comparatively low risk vasectomy.
However, it sounds like she's kind of just resentful that she's been the one to bear the burden of birth control, the risks of pregnancy, birth, etc and wants you to step up so to speak to even the score. Whether thats fair or reasonable is up to you to decide. I think this would be a discussion best had in couples therapy.
A vasectomy in addition to a tubal ligation seems a bit much. It is a totally unnecessary medical procedure that you don't need to spend money on or be in pain over. How you convince her is the question.
I've definitely dated people who were like this. It was exhausting and I didn't realize how bad it was until after I got out of the relationships and couldn't figure out why I wasn't exhausted all the dang time.
This should end your relationship. If she would lie about her age, what else has she lied to you about that you just haven't discovered yet?
And she lied to you because she knew you (hopefully) wouldn't have dated her if you knew how old she really was. She is perfectly comfortable lying to you in order to get what she wants.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I've had the religious thing from coworkers too. I'm an atheist, among other things that don't make me compatible with religion, but I had several colleagues at an old job believe I was hyper Christian conservative.
I realized the reason for that was my standards of professionalism. I dressed conservatively for work and didn't like to talk much about my personal life. I didn't really tell coworkers if I was dating or going out or talk about my hobbies, because I like to keep my home and work lives separate. I even had coworkers who thought I didn't drink when I was actually an alcoholic, just because I didn't talk about drinking.
So your husband may be in a similar boat where he just doesn't talk about his personal life at work. Because people are nosy, they tend to fill in the gaps in those situations and “really religious” is a go to when someone is quiet and dresses well.
He most likely is just a almost 40 year old looking for a nude 21 yr old to cheat on his relationship with and he is manipulating you with saying he is in an open relationship. Listen to your girls, they have your back.
“You don’t need to worry about him. He’s gay.”
Riiiiight.
Sorry about your husband. That’s got to be tough on your marriage.
She is getting ready to cheat, the guy at work has turned her head, I’ve seen it several times, her defensiveness gives it away, follow your instincts. I am petty, I’d book into the hotel just because and watch the show
UpdateMe!
Also a possibility to add, I’ve never met them and they haven’t met me. What do you think about me meeting you after and staying. We can still celebrate bday together. If she says yes get her some flowers and nice gift etc . If she says know, hopefully she will be able to explain calmly so you get a better understanding of her reasoning and how she feels about it.
Yes, I was thinking that as well. If she is collapsing multiple times during the day, she can’t be trusted with infant care.
There seems to be some kind of narrative that OP is “making” her faint because she is stressing her out. That is not the case. Baby care is stressful. Being in a house with young children and a mixed aged family is stressful. This is not the right environment for an ailing woman who is losing her mind and body functioning.
Jeebus… I'm hoping this isn't endemic to where you live!. This has a huge creep and ewww factor. This is NOT ok.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Why is it so nude for me (23f) to accept that my boyfriend (23m) or ex boyfriend doesn’t want to be with me anymore? A couple days ago he told me that he still has the feelings he’s missing out and wants to be or have sex with other people. I wasn’t surprised because he came to me about this a couple times before but on my side of things I thought everything was getting better. We started going to the gym, doing more things and working on ourselves. We’ve been together almost everyday for the past 2 years, do everything together etc. Recently he made a friend at work and has been getting out and doing more which I’m really supportive of because he doesn’t have any friends. The other night I asked him how he was feeling and he told me about the FOMO. Of course I’m upset but feel like there’s nothing I can do. He told me he loves me and it’s nothing that I’ve done but the romantic feelings for me fade in and out and he can’t stop a wondering eye but thinks he could spend the rest of his life with me. As he was breaking up with me he told me he didn’t want to hurt me anymore and do it in the most respectful way and then said “I’ll probably regret this”. Well why say things like that and toy with me? We’ve been broken up for 4 days but we live! together, i’m pretty sure he downloaded tinder the next day he broke up with me (I was being psycho crazy and found his pf) How do I not let this bother me or move on? I also don’t have the option to move out. I love him so much but I can’t just wait for him to come back to me. Do I just let him explore his options to realize he messed up?