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44 thoughts on “Cloewhiite on-line webcams for YOU!”
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I totally agree with “PixieOnAcid” don’t be his second choice or just a FWBs, because that’s really what you are now.. he has 2 loves. You deserve to be someones number 1 partner.
UpdateMe!
if you think it's too soon then tell him. there's no time limit when ot comes to dating/marriage. you do what feels comfortable to you. How do you feel about him. Are you happy? there's a lot of couples who got married last than 5 years and they're happy. I did long distance for like a year, broke up because afraid to commit. After a hospital incident + missing me to the point of depression, he ask for another try. we on-line together for a year and got married a few days before my birthday. I am in love with my husband everyday and he, the same. true love has no time limit. Every single relationship is different and as long as you are both happy with each other, I see no problem. Only thing is, what do you want. Talk to your bf. this is between you and him. No One Else. Only you know him, not other ppl. They don't know the true situation, you both are going through.
Thank you. I agree that he may not be able to stay with me, but also, it is very possible for a relationship to continue without sex. You can love each other romantically and not sexually. I really appreciate the advice and am not trying to be rude but I do think saying a sexless relationship is just a friendship could be a damaging statement. All relationships are different xx
Let him leave. I know you never online someone else but I promise you this is not love. You don't have to be with someone that hurts you, make you feel small, scares you… Leave him! It will let room for happy things to come.
Yeah I understand. Just want to clarify, I don't expect him to text 15 times a day, I understand he has a full time work and so do I and I work more days than he does. Sometimes I just wish he puts a bit more effort in his texting for me the same way I ro because he is the same even when he is off at the weekends but I understand what you are talking about and I will try not to let it get the best of me and just ignore it. Thank you ?
Yes, good. Clubs have the double payoff of making new friends and providing an escape from your studies with a hobby you already enjoy.
Oh, and when guys (or anyone really) get crude on text messages, its okay to get nasty yourself (but in a single reply, don't engage), or just ignore and block. Guys like this are using spam techniques. He replies to hundreds of women hoping for a few replies. By saying no, but even just replying with any level of respect at all, it was a message to him that sex was on the table if he just kept trying. The only reply should have been “No way. F__K off.” Just a bit of advice from an old guy.
I hope your studies go well. Cheers.
I would personally be a little hurt if my husband picked out something that wasn’t my style at all. It’s a ring that you generally expect to wear every day for many, many years. I love jewellery and wear it a lot, all of it has a particular style to match me and my outfits. I exclusively wear one metal and have just a couple of types of gemstones. When my husband was picking out my engagement ring, he obviously went through my jewellery box to match the ring and also spoke to my best friend and sister for advice before he made a purchase.
Seems like he's stringing you along. Stop wasting time and energy on a wrong person. He seems like it.
Wow. Not cool on his part. I always tried my best to be there for my ex gf when she was having a breakdown.
Tell him that you understand he may need some space to sort himself out, but days of no communication are not acceptable.
I…. thought those kind of issues were just internet memes. Y'know, “ah, men are so gross LOL especially my EX-BOYFRIEND!” Yet here I am, reading this post with my very own eyes. I can't believe that guys like this exist in real time. And what's more, he gets defensive? That he feels…. hurt? He's a literal biologic threat, he needs to focus his sensitivity on flaws that can't be solved as easily as washing your butt in the shower ?
I'm gonna think about this post for a while.
Anyway, break up with him. He seems to care more about living life as a walking health hazard than spending a few minutes out of any given day to be bare-minimum hygienic, despite knowing that he only needs to make the smallest of sacrifices to make you feel like Lady Fortune herself is giving you special attention.
Get out ur feels and get in his shoes
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Well from an overall perspective, I think it is good that you no longer have a leech in the house. It was already bad that you had to be his full time servant. Now he can take care of himself.
He is working on himself having just started therapy, so my initial instinct is to give him some time to prove that he's improving. You obviously love him, but love now doesn't necessarily mean you're compatible long-term. There has to be a line in the sand somewhere. If this pattern of behavior continues you should get out, and let him work on himself on his own.
If you try to breakup, and he has another panic attack, don't let that change your mind. You have to be stronger than him. If he really loves you and can't online without you, he'll stop mistreating you.
Love is naked. Good luck OP.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
What’s up with her search history. I thought things were going great. The first one is an ongoing issue, the other two are within the week.
Tons of articles and question on google about how to tell if your partner is becoming abusive. I think this is something she is scared of because of her past relationship experience. But she’ll reflect those worries onto me and assume I’m becoming abusive because we have a simple disagreement, for example.
I am starting up a new business on the side of my other business. It’s a passion project. I understand it may not be fruitful but I want to explore it. My bills are paid and food is on the table. We have no kids. She’s typed into her google search “my bf has terrible stupid ideas and doesn’t take criticism”. Ummm… wtf?
She doesn’t have an account but she did visit two different personal “kink” sites for meeting locals. From what I can tell, it was just the front page and she does not have an account. But knowing her relationship history, I don’t take this as a good sign.
TL:DR i think my GF’s search history doesn’t match with how she wants me to see her. Seeking advice!
I have never had this situation but if I ever do, I will remember this. Thank you 🙂
Thank you for pointing out that me and the other guy's wife are to blame for these poor souls straying, sometimes you just become so lost that you cant see the truth. I should ask her to cancel the transfer though, why should two people who have done nothing wrong suffer because they have insecure and controlling spouses?
When you grow up some more you will realize he’s a creep. Unfortunately you will be around 27 when you do. Hopefully, you won’t be tied down with several children, with no education or skills while being abused emotionally, financially, and physically when that happens. Otherwise you will be stuck and and SOL when he moves on.
You said no, he persisted. That was rape. He needs to get out of the house and you should never be alone with him without an adult. Get a lawyer if you can and see if this can get your divorce started sooner. Divorce or jail. Get security cameras in your bedroom if you can so if he even attempts, you have proof.
Thank you, Ebbie!
I was actually going to agree with your husband because that is usually how I draft wills for couples in your situation but given that you earn more than double your assets have actually grown because of your income. I would start a trust for your kids and put your extra income in that so that in the end they get more.
She was old enough go know the score.
Thanks for the response, did u ever regret it? Or did u feel like he wanted to move on as well?
Agreed, let her know that you’ll be there to help her no matter how the relationship works out. That you care about her, and just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be there for her even if she wasn’t with him.
I think maybe you should try and be more accepting of your parents. Therapy can help you work on the issue there. You don’t have to ever accept this part of their life and you can disagree with it, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely toss out your relationship with them when it’s fixable. You’re more than entitled to not do anything at all, but if you care for them you can at least try to be understanding toward them.
Make absolutely sure it's your kid.
Pick your battles.
Some things are just not worth the fight. Some things are. Instead of fighting, look for solutions.
I'm getting older. My short term memory is shot. So, we put up a writing board, writing appointments, things that need to be done on specific dates, etc, on them so we can look at it ensuring we don't miss things. It helped a LOT because I'd forget things.
This really should be simple. You started dating, got to know him more, and don’t like what you see now. Just break up and move on.
Your enabling him. He is an adult. If he wants money to do fun things or move out he can get a job. Your now a clown it’s not your job to entertain him. And why are you the one applying for jobs for him? He doesn’t work he has all day to do it. I hope he atleast help out with the chores at home and does things like cooking. Otherwise you don’t have a bf you have an adult child. And if that’s the case your better of single you will have tons more money and energy from him not being there.
Talk to him. Tell him you appreciate him letting you decide but you are not 100% sure and need his opinion.
You don't need to mention anything you overheard.
You guys can come up together with a plan, be the decision to have the baby or not.
As a guy I think you have an awesome partner that is ok letting you choose what you think it's best for you, even if that is not what he would choose. I feel like he gave you full authority to decide even though deep inside he has his preference.
Thank him for giving you power to decide but ask him to help you with the decision. It's a life changing decision for both of you and it will be much easier if both of you are onboard with whatever the decision is.
I can't tell you what to do, but I think this should be a 2 party decision. Don't be afraid either way.
That is fair to tell him!!!
But remember, the fact that those people are staring and laughing is a reflection of how small minded they are, and you probably wouldn’t want to associate with them anyway. 🙂
Also, depending on where OP is, the clock may be ticking. Many places have functionally banned abortions and she may be racing to make sure it can happen at all.
People grow apart. It's better to find this out before marriage. Good luck.
Didn't know there was a specific word for it, thanks!
Pretty much, Yes, you do just talk to him. But I think you need to consider what you are talking about – you really just want some reassurance that things are okay but you're going to be asking the guy that made you feel insecure in the first place. You talk about making him think that you don't trust his words which implies he has clearly told you that things ARE okay. In which case I would not talk to him about this at the moment. He HAS reassured you and you have to take him at face value.
A lot of the problem is his insecurities too. These are things that you can meaningly help him with past what you've already done. You've reassured him and he's had to take your words at face value.
I think that you might be making this worse by worrying so much about it. You're creating a situation and giving yourself negative “what ifs” and “maybes” and causing yourself to react badly and make a mountain out of a molehill. Give it a few days and see if it settles. If not, THEN you can think about trying to clear the air some more.
it's all boys vs girls it seems
The age gap is strange. A fourteen year gap is large and significant, especially at your age. Realistically – he’s hitting his late 30s, his life should be fairly set and solid. You’re 22, you have a lot to figure out, a lot to experience. There is a power dynamic that can’t be ignored, and typically you would be the victim here, especially considering your start together of being his fan.
We don’t know your relationship, but just as an outsider, I wouldn’t really think highly of a 36 year old dating a 22 year old. I’d wonder why he’s targeting someone so young, why he wouldn’t date someone in the same stage.
And very respectfully, while maybe not the case, older men targeting younger woman might also have an “age cap” in their heads, where you might age out of his preference and he once again seeks a younger woman.
Your relationship might be fine and normal, this is just my speculation.
The sexualization of nipples is as ridiculous as it is real. Her body. She just shares it with you. You can’t stop what other people think. In fact just posting about it here someone is going to wish they could see them.
Maybe when you two get serious you can ask her if she’d be willing to only share photos like that with you because they’re special to you in a meaningful way – not jealous that someone else sees them way.
Otherwise enjoy the fact that you get to see her in person and appreciate that instead.
I’m not sure. Makes me feel sad him getting off to other women. I probably don’t have the best self image either.
Taking a year break is just breaking up for good in less harsh words. GO to college. GO experience life. You will be a better person for it and will know a little better what you need in a partner. Is he not going to college?
It’s not a good idea. To back up, people are often fast and loose with their use of the term “grooming,” but if this isn’t officially included within the definition, it’s as close as one can get without it being so.
You’ll obviously have to confirm ages, but I’ll assume the two of you met at 17 and 24, and that’s within the context of student and teacher which is very much important to note. You never spoke then, but started to late into your senior year.
You say those conversations were limited to what I’d consider pretty standard and appropriate topics. But then you started emailing everyday, and what’s especially notable is you hadn’t graduated yet. I can’t logically find a situation where that would be appropriate. Even if the conversations were “innocent” (in quotes bc we don’t know), it’s still questionable for him to be doing it.
This is obviously nothing but pure conjecture since we don’t have much information, but to me, this is where it starts to suggest that he’s towing the line. He’s attracted to you, knows he can’t act on it, but maintains an inappropriate level of conversation (in terms of frequency), because he’s enjoying the attention but hasn’t technically done anything wrong. It’s important to note here that this is where your assumption about him starts to crack. In saying that, I know want to back up and be clear that I’m sorry for coming off as mean or judgmental; it’s truly not my intent. We only know what we know at the age we’re at. But the reality is you’re young and inexperienced, and your feelings for him are blinding your judgement about how big a deal this is and how he’s not as good a person as you think he is.
But we’re only scratching the surface there. You told him how you feel. He told you he was hesitant. You know what a good person would have done? Cut it off. But he didn’t. Why? Because he’s enjoying it. He’s playing it safe though. It’s honestly not all that difficult. To back up, I’m not going to sit here and suggest he’s crazy to be attracted to you out of context; a 25 year old finds an 18 year old very hot. Not exactly breaking barriers nor would I say in and of itself makes him or anyone else a creep strictly speaking to acknowledging attracting.
To come back, bringing things back into context, his only response should have been nothing more than “listen, I’m flattered, and there’s nothing to feel bad about. But this is inappropriate, and whether it’s legal or not, this just can’t continue. I wish you all the best.”
Instead, standoffish as he played, he kept engaging with you for nearly another year. That’s someone who’s a little standoffish? No, that’s someone who’s holding a kid (I know you don’t want to hear that word, but you need to understand that from his perspective, that’s how he sees you) on by a string, enjoying the attention, and will escalate if nothing else in his life materializes.
It then recently got sexual. Who initiated? You didn’t say. Either way, we know where it went. It’s at this point where it becomes a real problem in terms of my advice to you. Because at the end of the day, you’re a legally consenting adult. If you want to sext a guy, fine. If you two even physically engaged, fine. But this escalation in sexual tension and discussion has brought you back to your romantic feelings, as in, you want something real with him. You see him as someone who’s potentially the one for you.
It’s those feelings that end with you getting taken advantage of (and I don’t mean sex) and getting seriously hurt. I already said it’s a bad idea. But I think your debate here is considering the wrong results, because I’m certain you’re comparing three scenarios; 1) say nothing and continue as is, which isn’t good. You’re building up a fantasy as this happens and not living your life. 2) say something, and he tells you he doesn’t feel the same or it can’t happen. This is where you’re afraid to hear this reality, so you think avoiding it is better. Why? Would it really be better to maintain the fantasy, but not actually be in a relationship while you avoid living your life?
Or 3) say something and he tells you he feels the same and the two of you actually pursue a relationship. That’s my biggest concern. Because you need to ask yourself how that logically works. How do you tell people about your relationship? Then, you two are in monumentally different life stages. What does a 26 year old logically have in common with a 19 year old? What’s your next life step? College? He’s obviously past that and settling into his career. How does that work?
To wrap it up, you say he doesn’t seem like type of person to take advantage. You know who says that entering into similar situations; just about everyone. He’s 26 and pursuing a 19 year old. This same person was said 19 year old’s teacher. Not the type of person to take advantage? He already is. Like I already said, a mature adult in his situation would have cut this off long ago. Good luck.
And while I’m applying for my visa booking for hotel rooms all to deliver a break up message he’ll be thinking I’m going there to reunite with him. Not even a heads up?
That is a deal breaker for me. I would never date someone who has been with her friends in her social circle and ask that up front. Seeing you already had that conversation, and she either lied about it or omitted it, would make it worse for me. She took away your ability to make an informed decision on whether to proceed with the relationship. For a lot of people, it wouldn't matter. For me, it would. I couldn't look at her or her friends the same way ever again.