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If you can't just go next to her and ask him politely to do it somewhere else because you get headache and the house stinks i think she doesn't respect you at all or theres a huge lack of communication.
The way you talk about your relationship is gross. Using marriage as leverage to get the sex you want. Gf/wife privileges without the “duties”
Gross.
Which isn't a huge surprise since you make damn near double of what she does, but want to make her pay 50% of the expenses.
Who cares?! The issue at hand is not the cat. You are willing to choose a hypothetical pet over your boyfriend. A person. If you feel this way, your relationship is doomed and you have much bigger problems. Focus on that.
You're not kicking them out of their house, you are creating a safe space for yourself.
And don't worry about the meds not working, there is no magic pill to make this better, it's trial and error.