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But if 90% of your thougths and mindset is just negative stuff about her ut will get thru and be noticable. Humans are in general very good at reading people they know well, and if your mindset is to just be critical and hate on her she will notice that unless either she or you are neurodivergent. And honestly, if she really is that bad that 90% or your thougths about her are bad then I really dont se why you want to save this marriage.