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She didn't choose you. Find your own girlfriend.
No. This isn't normal or healthy. It's not just this one problem and everything else is perfect. It's a HUGE problem that overshadows everything else. He's an abuser. Abusers demand open phone policies. Abusers baselessly accuse their partners of cheating (usually because they themselves are cheating). Abusers isolate you from friends and coworkers by accusing you of having “inappropriate” friendships. Abusers use your past against you. Abusers ALWAYS feel justified in behaving this way and will not change. You are completely fooling yourself if you think this is about his “insecurities.” It's about control. Control of you.
That just teaches them to lie to you though, and the op's friends are the type to keep it from her for their relationships sake.