BestiaFlora live sex chats for YOU!

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  1. I would continue business as usual but don’t forget that someone took the time to tell you that about this person. Could be “trolling,” could be someone that is just hurt and wants to hurt him, or it could be someone that has nothing to gain that wants to warn the next one. Either way, not much you can do but keep it in mind in case home boy proves to be who this person says.

  2. This is a way bigger deal than whether she called you ugly or not. He is hiding the relationships for a reason: he is either on the prowl to date other people, so he needs to be known as single, or he is already seeing someone else, or he is ashamed of you, or you are actually no dating and he has been only using you for sex and attention.

    All of those are awful tbh, and you deserve better.

  3. Hello /u/ZheShu,

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  4. Hello /u/Embarrassed_Ad4963,

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  5. Her comments actually changed my view. I read the post and thought “Jesus Christ another insecure bf.” And her reluctance to get a paternity test is striking. Something is amiss.

  6. Personally? I'd take the evidence of him being a cheater with hookers and make a public repository. Texts, chats, receipts, your std test to make sure you didn't catch anything… and make it public. Send it to everyone. Family. Parents. Any of the girls he's talking too. His coworkers, boss, hr.

    There's being cordial for the kids sake… and theirs fuck that guy. I'd lean towards option #2.

  7. Because a divorce isn't going to help anyone.

    Also, I said in my question how to convince him not to go (or in other words respecting my boundaries)

  8. So this is a lot to unpack here.

    First off I want to say, your feelings are valid and should be recognized. A partner should support you and not make it an ego trip. This is not a partnership.

    It's not just ego here however, it's control. He is literally trying to control your memories and behavior by making you doubt yourself, to frustrate you into going along what he says you should believe because he's trying to control the narrative. This is not going to stop or change.

    This is only going to continue and escalate. You're being emotionally manipulated. You're not crazy, you're being manipulated.

    It happened to me super early on when I first started dating, the lies (no i didn't do that, or I didn't say that) the pushing of boundaries, escalating to using your own emotional trauma against you, or making you chase them, finally culminating with threats of self harm if I left them.

    Do not let it get that far, and if they do threaten self harm, consider it like this..

    They're threatening to murder someone you love just to get their way. Do not give into emotional terrorists.

    If you ever need to talk, my DMs are open. Your feelings are valid.

  9. You bet. I have a ton of things on my “yet” list – I haven’t lost a job, a spouse, been arrested or killed someone etc – basically all the things that people think of as “alcoholic” consequences.

    Yet.

    One of the reasons it took me 12 years to get sober is that list.

    But that’s me, you know your situation better than anyone.

    I am so much happier and have so much less stress in my life that I’m not drinking though – so – maybe he can think about it one day. Could be good..

  10. Cheaters seldom change, they will however scramble to keep the person they want as their rock right where they are. I don’t buy the whole “cheating on you is a form of self harm” thing at all btw, that sounds like a really lame excuse to try and guilt you into forgiving him. If you want to stay then you have to accept the possibility that he is sleeping with other people behind your back. Also you should get tested regularly.

  11. Thoughts?

    It's a shame he didn't bolt out of bed at about 3:55am

    Now that I've got that out of my system…

    If you're interested in seeing him again, reach out with some sort of an opening “we all have those stories that we can laugh about eventually, want to get together for X?”

    If not, send the bill.

  12. I don't know anything about either of you, so forgive my armchair psychology based on the very tiny amount of info in your short post…

    She likely has some self-esteem problems, and competitive activities might make her feel frustrated and upset when she doesn't do well. Probably more at herself than at you. Have some empathy for her – it's a pretty miserable thing to struggle with. I'm sure she'd much prefer to have fun, happy feelings while playing games; but, some people go through a lot of deep, painful turmoil when they perform poorly.

    This probably isn't helped by the fact that you obviously like competitive pursuits. And your enjoyment might be perceived by her as being arrogant, “aggressive” or a sore winner. In other words – rubbing your superiority in her low-self-esteem face. And then, shaming her in front of the group by stopping the game due to her protecting her emotions by quitting. Reducing her emotions to just being “childish and immature” shows how far you are from empathizing with her…

    Some people love trash-talking and aggressive competition. Others can be super fragile – and feel self-loathing when they do poorly, and then humiliation or guilt based on how others react. If you want games to be fun for everyone, you should be aware of the personality types and how to cater to them. Maybe she's not the best person to invite to Catan or Scrabble nights.

  13. I think your situation is not uncommon. Not everyone can finish from HJs and/or BJs. It sounds like both of you are stressing about finishing, so I wouldn’t even bother — can you just enjoy the experience as it is?

  14. If it can be thrown in a Tupperware, it's distributable. He doesn't have to take it to a food pantry. See my other comment. There are so, so many people who could use a meal. You have no idea. I guarantee that even in his high-end building, there are probably people who are older or chronically ill and would love a home-cooked meal.

  15. Ahhh, okay. You could always just say you're looking for a relationship, not a casual dating deal. But don't apologize, since this isn't anything you need to apologize about.

  16. I am sorry you are going through this, but you need to respect her boundaries at least for a while. If you keep blowing up her phone, and leaving well-meant gifts outside her workplace, she could consider this as harassing behavior and intent doesn't matter when boundaries get crossed. Then your “nice” gestures are no longer thoughtful, they begin to border on harassment, stalking, and being an overall creep who can't take a hint.

    What were you guys arguing about? You claim it was a small argument, and yet she used terms like “toxic” to describe the relationship, which is a pretty strong thing to say to someone you've been with almost 3 years.

    In the meantime, you aren't going to wear her down to talk with you. Give her some space, wait 2-3 weeks, and then reach out to see if she can give you some further clarity on things.

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