You put yourself out there and were vulnerable and this horrible man laughed at you. His comments toward you are also abusive and you don’t deserve that. Leave him in the dust girl and don’t waste any more time on this pathetic excuse of a boyfriend.
Maybe you don't have to think about what to tell her, you can read her what I wrote here.
Building a career after college can be a gamble. You can follow all the rules, work really naked, get the best grades possible, plan everything out, and it still might not work out. Like Captain Picard says: “It is possible to make no mistakes and still loose.”
I applied to PHD programs after graduating from my undergrad. I was rejected by probably a dozen schools after spending over a thousand dollars on application fees. It really messed me up because I absolutely had been planning on going to grad school and paying my way with a grad-assistance job. I really struggled to find a job in my field that I could do with only a bachelor's, and the pickings were slim. I thought I had chosen a degree that would be practical and have good job prospects, but I was completely wrong. When I did get jobs in my field, I realized I was actually really bad at that type of work. I was fired and forced to quit multiple times. I scrub toilets now.
But that was probably about 8 years ago now. Finally I applied for school again, this time for my masters, in a field I didn't ever originally intend on entering, and now I'm getting my degree in biostatistics. I really needed time in the job market to figure out what I was passionate about and what I wanted to do.
I'm only a few years older than you, OP's girlfriend, and so I probably don't have some kind of infinite wisdom, but I just want you to know that I absolutely understand your struggle. You have a lot of advantages over what I have since your degree is in something more practical / marketable, and you have actual job experience in your field. You have lots of good prospects ahead of you, but you may have to accept those prospects aren't in the places you wanted them to be. I hope things work out for you.
Especially when you are tired or out of emotional steam, take a breath as self care and then practice stopping to think.
If you realise that you could be happier by making others happy, then do that.
Don't let short term failures become entrenched.
Talk to your mother about your approach and ask and expect fair respectful critique.
View it as repairing the relationship and building an equal adult relationship for the future.
Sometimes your mum might cross the line too… she will be learning through the process. Calmly and clearly refrain from escalation an address it later when you are both in a place of emotional safety and receptiveness.
We do online together, most of the shopping we do together. Cooking we try and divide up, but, ultimately it just becomes a case of, whoever has the time to do it ends up doing it.
I think that's awesome for you, and I hope you're able to get those needs met so that you can feel fulfilled in your relationship, be it this one or a future one. I am by far a minority in my feelings about monogamy, and I really support you looking for fulfillment in the ways that work for you. 🙂
For whatever it's worth, my discomfort with monogamy has really nothing to do with sex desires. I am asexual, my relationship with sex is kind of weird to begin with. It's about what feels like trust if that makes sense. I want my partner to trust me enough to believe that whatever experimentation I might do or whatever friendships I might have, my love and commitment for him remains the same. I feel that kind of trust for him, and would be excited to hear about him having new experiences. I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't trust my partner in that way. I think monogamy mostly feels uncomfortable to me because it presupposes that the kind of trust that I value doesn't work or isn't real. It's not that I think it's like wrong or bad, it just feels at odds with the things that make me specifically feel valued and secure, so it's not the life I want to live!.
No, you are not overreacting. Your soon to be ex should act his age and not his shoe size. He is inviting women into his place to party and is making it known he is single. Let him be single.
I would get tested. How often is he doing this? Yeah sure, they were in his room high, and nothing happened….
End it. Find someone who respects you. He obviously does not. What a loser.
Bro it happens. She told you, if you trust her then give her this one.
When I was back in school, my cousin got nudes from his gf’s friend by accident. They had spoken a bit on Snapchat so he was a recent contact, and she accidentally sent them to him rather than her bf. She apologized to my cousin and deleted, told her bf and everyone moved on
Dump him. Lots of payout there will appreciate you.
You put yourself out there and were vulnerable and this horrible man laughed at you. His comments toward you are also abusive and you don’t deserve that. Leave him in the dust girl and don’t waste any more time on this pathetic excuse of a boyfriend.
Learn to spell if you're going pursue writing.
Maybe you don't have to think about what to tell her, you can read her what I wrote here.
Building a career after college can be a gamble. You can follow all the rules, work really naked, get the best grades possible, plan everything out, and it still might not work out. Like Captain Picard says: “It is possible to make no mistakes and still loose.”
I applied to PHD programs after graduating from my undergrad. I was rejected by probably a dozen schools after spending over a thousand dollars on application fees. It really messed me up because I absolutely had been planning on going to grad school and paying my way with a grad-assistance job. I really struggled to find a job in my field that I could do with only a bachelor's, and the pickings were slim. I thought I had chosen a degree that would be practical and have good job prospects, but I was completely wrong. When I did get jobs in my field, I realized I was actually really bad at that type of work. I was fired and forced to quit multiple times. I scrub toilets now.
But that was probably about 8 years ago now. Finally I applied for school again, this time for my masters, in a field I didn't ever originally intend on entering, and now I'm getting my degree in biostatistics. I really needed time in the job market to figure out what I was passionate about and what I wanted to do.
I'm only a few years older than you, OP's girlfriend, and so I probably don't have some kind of infinite wisdom, but I just want you to know that I absolutely understand your struggle. You have a lot of advantages over what I have since your degree is in something more practical / marketable, and you have actual job experience in your field. You have lots of good prospects ahead of you, but you may have to accept those prospects aren't in the places you wanted them to be. I hope things work out for you.
Especially when you are tired or out of emotional steam, take a breath as self care and then practice stopping to think.
If you realise that you could be happier by making others happy, then do that.
Don't let short term failures become entrenched.
Talk to your mother about your approach and ask and expect fair respectful critique.
View it as repairing the relationship and building an equal adult relationship for the future.
Sometimes your mum might cross the line too… she will be learning through the process. Calmly and clearly refrain from escalation an address it later when you are both in a place of emotional safety and receptiveness.
We do online together, most of the shopping we do together. Cooking we try and divide up, but, ultimately it just becomes a case of, whoever has the time to do it ends up doing it.
I think that's awesome for you, and I hope you're able to get those needs met so that you can feel fulfilled in your relationship, be it this one or a future one. I am by far a minority in my feelings about monogamy, and I really support you looking for fulfillment in the ways that work for you. 🙂
For whatever it's worth, my discomfort with monogamy has really nothing to do with sex desires. I am asexual, my relationship with sex is kind of weird to begin with. It's about what feels like trust if that makes sense. I want my partner to trust me enough to believe that whatever experimentation I might do or whatever friendships I might have, my love and commitment for him remains the same. I feel that kind of trust for him, and would be excited to hear about him having new experiences. I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't trust my partner in that way. I think monogamy mostly feels uncomfortable to me because it presupposes that the kind of trust that I value doesn't work or isn't real. It's not that I think it's like wrong or bad, it just feels at odds with the things that make me specifically feel valued and secure, so it's not the life I want to live!.
You know he’s already cheated right? Been there, done that but I didn’t know until after 17 years together. Leave now.
No, you are not overreacting. Your soon to be ex should act his age and not his shoe size. He is inviting women into his place to party and is making it known he is single. Let him be single.
I would get tested. How often is he doing this? Yeah sure, they were in his room high, and nothing happened….
End it. Find someone who respects you. He obviously does not. What a loser.
Bro it happens. She told you, if you trust her then give her this one.
When I was back in school, my cousin got nudes from his gf’s friend by accident. They had spoken a bit on Snapchat so he was a recent contact, and she accidentally sent them to him rather than her bf. She apologized to my cousin and deleted, told her bf and everyone moved on
yeah no… I have a full sleeve and my bf loves them, and he has no tatts.
That oopsie babies coming
Stop doing the pick me dance. He's checked out, and you're hoping he comes back. Isn't cheating because you're doing well? What does that even mean?