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“anonymity” is especially tough if one starts a fwb/secondary relationship with a close friend you see regularly, someone living in the same town…. While OP might keep it a secret, what about friends, family, neighbors, the secondary partner etc.?
What if OP's wife wants to hang out with his friends or invites them over for dinner? This can quickly become extremely uncomfortable, hence, why many couples (who have this “anonymity” rule) say that friends/family etc. is completely off limits, and they usually also have rules about how often you can hang out, what happens if you develop feelings etc.
Oh babe, do you really want to sign up to a life of him never going down on you?