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No I never kept any hard photos of the Snapchat guy. I have no feelings whatsoever for the guy. I don’t want my Snapchat account. I talked to my boyfriend when he saw the Snapchat from the guy. He told me he didn’t like for me to message other guys so I deleted Snapchat. I never wanted to date out of state guy I knew that was going nowhere pretty quickly.
A lot of people are giving some very good advice here, but I just want to ask. Who the hell listens to the person they supposedly love cry for two hours alone, then watched it for another 20 and thinks “aww yeah that's hard, sex time”? Like just all of the no. Even the most touch love language people I know would just be offering hugs and cuddles and tissue, unless the conversation had been had ahead of time that sex makes their partner feel better when in emotional distress. I don't think your boyfriend actually gives a shit about you. His only concern with what he wants, and he wanted to get off and his bang maid needed to stop being broken and give it up.
He's not physical where I need to take out a restraining order. Idk why the comments think it's THAT serious. He's just overly attached and lacks self esteem that he's convinced himself that I'm his end all be all.
Don't let these events turn you bitter tho. And morph into something your current self would hate.
I wanna give him a hug and tell him that he will be ok, and he will be proper loved one day as he deserves to be. She's not the one, unfortunately. Love it's not like that.
Have some self respect man, is she gonna just do stuff with her ex whenever she's mad at you? If you take her back I can guarantee you this won't be the last time something like this is gonna happen. But at the end you're the one thats gonna be affected by the results, so its your choice whether you wanna go back to her or not
She fucked that guy. Dont be a sucker.
I agree that having a desire to have sex with your gf after 3 weeks is normal for a young man, but the way he went about her saying no is unacceptable. Someone that truly loves their partner would not throw a fit like a toddler and tell them to stay at home. Idk about some of you guys but even if my partner didn’t want to have sex I still would LOVE to see them after 3 weeks. Plus there are other ways to be intimate. He seems to only take his needs into consideration which will not work.
This sounds a lot like my situation with my ex-husband. He would play video games all the time and I was left to do all the chores, cooking, cleaning, finances, and raising our child. I eventually went to therapy myself because he refused marriage counseling. My therapist said I was “over-functioning” in the relationship. This sounds like you. As difficult as it may be, you have to be real and honest with yourself about what you want from life for yourself and if what you’re doing now is part of it. There is absolutely no shame in putting your needs first and knowing your value as a person. Best of luck. You are not alone.
You like him, of course you dont see any red flags. Your friends are all around your age and have similar values as you?… Of course they will say it's fine. You have probably read a lot if other posts in here about age gaps and the cons, so really uo to you to decide. I guess when the sexual ecstacy has worn down and life challenges kicks in, thst is when you will open your eyes to see who this man really is.
That’s a difficult situations !
It is his money, and his choice to spend it however he chooses. This is not your decision.
I can’t help it if I’m feeling confused about a romantic situation? Why are you on an advice forum to not give advice … ?
It’s your GFs hair, you have no right to say anything about how she gets her hair cut.
You can say that you don’t like it, and if you are really petty, and insecure you can leave her because of it, but her haircut is her choice, not yours.
I can really appreciate this advice. It's very helpful. I think I want to see where his head is around 'being in love'. I know that within polyamory it can look very different for different people. If it seems like it would hurt him for me to not reciprocate, I'll definitely put distance in the relationship.
I think I want a mind reader and it’s unfair. If I ask for something and they can do it, I get it. But I hate having to ask. I’ve always had a problem of thinking everybody is/thinks like me. It’s affected friendships.
Yeah fuck this I couldn’t date someone that told me to wait till she gets a train ran on her or whatever else. It seems selfish of her to do this to you and you’ll always think of that moment she had an orgy when you look at her.
She really should’ve never said a word till she got back and then confess her feelings to you.
Don't do it. Cancel the application immediately and move on. I did the same fiance visa thingy with my ex husband , for us didn't take that long. How I see it is, if she can't handle the wait and the process it takes to be with the man who she is supposed to love, she isn't going to be ready to support whatever life throws at both of you once you guys get married. ( My ex sadly wasn't ready for the challenges life would throw at us) . Honey seriously save yourself the heartache , cancel the whole thing and move on. You are much more than a plan b.
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RIP your husband
Wow, that is incredibly weird. What's gonna happen if you just say NO, I already got you something…. or I can't afford that much ? This all sounds incredibly controlling.
Get out of there!! I didn't even read your post, just get out!!
sounds like y'all might be incompatible and that's okay. you're not a bad person for not wanting to do sexual things you're not comfortable with. He's not a weirdo for wanting to explore these sexual things. it just comes down to y'all being different and that's okay, there are plenty of men who would treat you right and respect your boundaries
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He didn't respond to sexy pictures? I personally would think he's just not into me. I've had men lose their erections, but they didn't act weird about it for days.
While there’s not a big age difference between me and my siblings, we are radically different people. I get shit on for not being in their lives, but I moved away and became a much better person, and every time I was in my home country they didn’t bother to come see me. They’ve also said they won’t come here, and got upset when I expressed that that hurt.
Remember that you do not owe your biological family anything. Not love, not effort, not anything. They happen to be related to you. That’s it. I hope you find a way to come to terms with that, because you really don’t need these people in your life. Surround yourself with people of your choosing. They will turn into your family eventually.
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Clearly he isn’t ready for marriage. Balls back in your court. What are you going to do? He knows what you want. How long are you willing to be together without marriage?
You honestly can't put your age when you started dating someone so young. Reddit loves to gang up and make that THE issue. Even the thought of a senior in high-school being with another highscooler in a lower grade is an abomination!! Perversion!!
Like did none of these people date or talk to people when they were freshmen and sophmores?sophomores?? It's experience. You've been with the guy 3 years why even bring that shit up.
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IF you broke up with your ex anytime before you went to hang out then there was no physical cheating. If you started to feel your Relationship was “off” and started an emotional affair (in which you developed real feelings) there was some slight cheating but really if you weren't happy then the breakup was going to come whether the other guy was around.
I would be careful to avoid this circumstance in the future but there is no point beating yourself up over something that was going to happen regardless.
One year now
My husband is trying his best and hasn't done anything wrong to me
and
My husband allows his 5 year old child to physically assault me unless I give him money.
Pick one.
The second sentence of the second paragraph you already should terrible. No one should be around that “she looks 15” type crap.
As someone said. Make the choice to get your life in order and seek therapy.
Your friend is actually the one in the wrong here by assuming that Asians must be light skinned: this character is Asian, and she has a darker skin color because of aspects of her character related to the story line, not because she’s black. On top of that, your girlfriend isn’t tanning just to play the part: she’s always tan. If her skin can get that color in the sun, then guess what: that’s her skin color.
Nothing to try snd fail. I already lost him the moment I decided not be honest from the beginning. I just postponed the monent and bought time out disgusting delfishness.
I'm not hiding or anything. I knew knowing the truth could hsve destroyed him. What I wanted was a way to let him go without destroying him.
Take the texts and your proof that the cat's yours to the police. Make sure you get a copy of the police report. Insist on it if they don't want to make one, and ask to speak to a supervisor. Make sure they understand that this is a several thousand dollar animal, and provide the CFA/registry papers if you have any… if they think this is a fancy show animal it might make them more likely to act.
People here are telling you that the police will definitely act, but if you read /r/legaladvice long enough you'll see that it's pretty darn common for some police departments to refuse to do a darn thing about pet theft. You might need to sue, and if you do you'll most likely need to get an actual lawyer and take it to a higher court instead of just small claims. In most states small claims court doesn't have the power to grant “replevin,” which is the procedure by which a court orders the police to go seize property to hand it back to the owner.
You have to explain how you feel without trying to lead an outcome or subconsciously making him feel bad to try to get him to stop. I had a girlfriend do this over the same issue and it really bothered me. Some good advice is, instead of posting on Reddit tell them how you feel. Masturbating to porn really has no comparison to irl, it’s a cheap fix vs a loving passionate time with your partner. Think of how guys get jealous of vibrators, your sound the same as those guys lol
Not sure I follow the logic I’m not acknowledging that you knew him in your childhood. To me it’s more odd not to. Not like an old flame or even that one of you is in a position of authority over the other.
There are so many red flags in your description. Break it off.
10 year difference Coworkers Adult male still living with mommy and daddy
He is taking complete advantage of you. You need to break this off NOW. Focus on your education and work. Do NOT date a co-worker. And absolutely do not date someone that much older than you.
Mental illness doesn't make someone a bad person, no. However, saying and doing terrible things to your partner, and showing a sustained lack of love and care over a period of years, does in fact make you a bad partner. And it's reasonable that marriages may break up if someone treats their partner that way, even if if there was a mental health issue at the base of it.
Yess thats quite a contrast??
Yes..a bit of space is all that's needed…they'll cum back around. Belated wishes for your birthday. X
He’s keeping his options open, but you are not special enough to be a priority to him. That’s a fob off. You deserve better. Time to look elsewhere.
I agree we should take sex off and i have but then she asked for me to make her cum and i do but then I’m left to do what it doesn’t make sense.
Does the ring she accepted when you proposed have no sentimental value to her? You need to make sure you have enough money to pay your taxes and you need to invest in an IRA or 401k. Her friends should not know your income. That is private family information. Is she going to discuss every disagreement you have with her friends? Will her friends have input on every financial decision you make as a couple? She needs to grow up. She’s sulking because she didn’t get her way. Stop agreeing to every little thing she wants for the wedding. $100,000 is a ridiculous amount for a wedding. Does she have a job? Make sure she has one before the wedding. Develop an investment strategy. Don’t spend everything you make-ever.
It’s the lip filler. Not the kybella swelling. Dramatic as it may be. It’s not just something that I’m choosing and being stubborn about. My body starts to shake and i almost want to cry because I’m upset.
Exactly.
Everyone is already going to talk about how toxic this age gap is, so just allow my utter disgust for your groomer female “friend” to be registered before I move to my main point.
People can cuddle and still be in a platonic relationship
Buddy let me tell you something. This nonsense right here is something that does NOT exist outside of chronically live groups of people. No well adjusted adult in real life uses the term “platonic relationship”, and more importantly, EVERYONE AND THEIR MOMMA knows that when two people are cuddling the chances are 99.999999999% of them being in a romantic relationship or at least sexually/emotionally (in a romantic sense) involved with each other to some capacity. That is why you don't see men cuddling their female besties when they're in a relationship – and, if you do, you KNOW they're cheating.
People who are just friends don't spend the night cuddling with each other with this closeness you mentioned, save in very specific situations that require a lot of emotional support, like a death in the family – which a night out to drink certainly is not. And, even in the extremely-close-to-zero-percent chance that these people are completely platonic friends, she still said she “considera you a child” while your friend of the same age is “adult” enough to sleep with her in her bed, which is code for: SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
Eh, I say just fuck it!
You need to tell his wife, don't let your brother gaslight you into believing his bullshit that nobody will believe you. He is obviously pursuing a relationship with your ex gf. You will at least plant the seed of doubt in her to hopefully leave your psycho brother.
Im childfree and could never date someone with kids. That's not fair to the kids. You'll find someone who will love all of you better than he did. Good luck.
As someone who's cheated and been cheated on ?
I grew up with parents who “stayed together for the kids” but that's bullshit. They've been having the same fucked up fights since my siblings and I were born and it hasn't done us any favors. Hell we're all adults now and dealing with their impending divorce and actually having to participate in the proceedings WITH THEM is actually a step MORE stressful than if they did this twenty years ago, ironically.
Please end it. For what do you feel guilty. Just ready what he did to you… He send you nudes to dtrangers?! Cheated on you?! And after 9 months pregnancy with i guess not many support of him and a hard labour, he caäomes after 7 days with a threesome?! All he does is thinking about me! my penis! me! He gives a fuck about you or his child. He ruined the relationship! And he doesn't want to change. Just think what he will do to your daughter when she is older and he can use her for his desire for sex? And if he just send her picture to other people like he did with yours?
You must get out! For yourself and your daughter. She will grow up and think this is normal. And in a relationship like this. You think you can hide this, but chikdren are smart.
You must now collect evidence of how sex addiction and that he is a danger for your child to be alone. Talk with a lawyer. If you have proofs about the past when he was more interested about sex than childcare, collect it. Maybe even when you were still recovering from labour, trying to bounding with the newborn and he doesn't care about all this but wanted to force you to a threesome! When you can't even have sex for several weeks after labour.
You also should get therapy. What he did to you is clearly a form of abuse. You will need to heal. But don't forget: you are a strong woman and he is a weak man who doesn't deserve you. You deserve to have a great life and you are still so young! You have 50 years befor you, so so much things you can still experience when xou get rid of this loser who just can think of his penis.
I added this comment on your other post:
You owe it to him to be honest about what you have done. If he finds out from someone else, that’s way worse. He knows you have this problem. But if you actively keep this from him, that changes things. That means you are keeping secrets as well as spilling his. He very well may leave you or never trust you again. He needs to be allowed to make that choice. Any relationship you have right now is fake because you are keeping something vital from him.
I see all these comments and it’s kind of early to be totally invested in this guy, but if you want it to work you should pick a good time to have a discussion about it.
There could be many reasons, and yeah maybe one of them is him questioning if a future with you is even viable enough to shout about it from the rooftops. But you do deserve to know. That being said, I say pick a good time, because If you’re aggressive and emotional then you make the cost of honesty too high and the cycle continues.
OP, unless this is a pattern of behavior, the best approach is to correct him and keep it between the two of you. Now you're a big tattletale, is this not the first time you've gone to mommy to tell you your younger brother?
As far as the girl, just give her a gentle reminder and don't mention your brother.
Also its important to know your triggers and communicate- like with laundry, something like “hey, I don’t mind doing chores but when the clean laundry is just left in the basket I get frustrated because that was never allowed in my house.”
For one night! It's his fav hobby now what next?
“No you can't go out with them to play dnd there because you are gone for too long”
My girl you didn't want them in YOUR house.
She seems unreasonable and uncompromising. OP isn't being a dick about it. He's trying to accommodate her.
For one night! It's his fav hobby now what next?
“No you can't go out with them to play dnd there because you are gone for too long”
My girl you didn't want them in YOUR house.
She seems unreasonable and uncompromising. OP isn't being a dick about it. He's trying to accommodate her.
For one night! It's his fav hobby now what next?
“No you can't go out with them to play dnd there because you are gone for too long”
My girl you didn't want them in YOUR house.
She seems unreasonable and uncompromising. OP isn't being a dick about it. He's trying to accommodate her.
Thank you for being respectful 🙂 the intrusive thoughts are so hard to ignore! But I should mention he was subscribed to this small random channel that gets literally no views. What I'm thinking is it was an accidental subscribe because I have done this many times. I want to ask him about it without seeming insecure because he gets irritated when I question him about stuff like this.
He messaged you. He messaged you!!
Personally, I would take the high road and be honest
“Spn, when your message came in I almost couldn’t believe my eyes- after 2 years in of not hearing from you and not understanding why I was trying to give you space. I miss you – we all miss you so much, and I am so sorry for the hurt I have caused. I never meant to hurt you. Can we talk? I am ready to listen, and I would like to understand how you feel so that I can properly apologize. And for the record, near or far, you will always be a member of this family and welcome home, to visit, for pictures, or anything else we are doing”
Yeah it sucks.
But i think it would be solved if he just moved out?
My only other option is to leave him, but i’m trying to find other solutions before jumping the gun so quickly.
You obviously can't trust this guy and ideally you'd give this baby up for adoption. But cheating in a relationship doesn't factor into a judge's determination in trying to sever a birth father's parental rights. So if you did keep the baby this guy would be your coparent for at least 18 years. You simply wouldn't have the option to not let him spend time with his kid.
There's three. For me it's probably undiagnosed ADHD, but I just live with it
My partner introduced the idea to me a year ago. So they definitely are down with the idea of it. If anything I'm the one that is more uncomfortable with it than she is. But its still something I want to try. “who's better than who in bed” I don't see as an issue for me personally since I can't really compare how I please my woman to how another woman does. Like I already know another woman can probably do hand/mouth stuff to my girl better than I can, on account of having the same anatomy. But she ain't got a D. As far as my girlfriend being jealous, Idk maybe she would be. She straight up has told me to try to hook up with this third person u prompted so yeah Idk how much I buy what you're selling for my specific situation.
I'm on BC and they regulate your period very well. I've never used ovulation tests to track anything except my ovulation cycle. 4 kids later and I'd say they work! So be careful. Use your own condoms and keep them safe. This behaviour is pretty weird.
I have a friend that went into her obgyn for the shot at the regular scheduled interval and was going to talk to them about going off it to try for a baby after this shot, and what that would entail. Turns out she was already pregnant. Whoops.
Who’s talking casual? I met my husband at 19. Didn’t marry until I was 25, wasn’t a virgin and have never had casual, non committed sex in my life?♀️?♀️
Maybe if you move in he will turn up the heat and hard water because he won’t be shouldering all of the bill.
Yeah i guess each to their own
I have friends with crippling social anxiety, who I know have zero desire to do certain things that I find enjoyable. I've always given them a call.
“Hey I'm going to a concert for my birthday, would you want to come, or would you rather just have a hang some other time?”
I had a friend that didn't come to my wedding because of their social anxiety, but I still invited them. They took us to a nice dinner later on instead and I didn't get upset because we communicated.
A good friend gives you control over how you want to be included in special events.
He should not go back to his old job because that ship has sailed. He better start looking for anything he can find type of job.
Even if I hated my job, co-workers, boss, and my partner with the intensity of 1,000 suns, this is not the way to quit a job. Never burn bridges. Ever.
Why is this coming up now that you have been married a significant amount of time. You know your partner. I’m not sure. I understand you think she needs to go to trauma counseling now with something you can’t help her with and why it’s coming up now. There’s a big piece of this it’s missing.
I get that people been telling you over the years but that brings me down to today. Why now are you thinking of leaving her? Are you just trusting her because of her behavior around somebody else?
At 26 he’s too old to be playing these kids games. I was getting married at his age!
In you’re shoes, I’d be saying to him that whilst you’re not telling him to block his ex-gfs number & socials, but what you are telling him is that he you are not prepared to commit anything further to someone who keeps avenues open for exes with unresolved issues to contact him and that any relationship from now on has to have the same rules for both of you.
You should be in the clear. He took what could be considered aggressive action against you, and you defended yourself.
Tbh I'm trying to laugh quietly at my desk that he tried to go dom onyou, and you totally spanked him. You rock!
She shut down the attempts to kiss her. Pushing away the aggressor could have led to violence, presumably she did what she felt she could safely do.
Except these parwnts went on a religious anti-gay tirade, so they are homophobic.
Thank you for being there for your SIL.
Maybe approach it like this. “You look really happy taking care of the baby, has it softened your stance about having children?” If she says no, then drop it. If she says “maybe, what about you?” Just tell her your feelings but remind her that whatever she decides you will support it and be happy with it.
Why haven't you called the cops to report the assault or the stolen car?
Talk to her and tell her how therapy helped you. If she agrees you can use meeting you as a cover story for the appointments. I think it's completely up to your sister to decide but you can suggest it to her and help facilitate it.
Dump her and keep the Eskimo bros
It’s a difference in expectations. Not incompetence. I don’t just jump when my husband says how high. By that logic if she ever puts the toilet paper on in the way he prefers, or folds a towel the wrong way according to him, etc. she deserves to be berated too. This isn’t appropriate behavior. It’s not a way to treat a spouse. If this is exactly as OP describes, this woman doesn’t respect him as another adult in the home. She’s treating him like a child.
You sound like you’re obsessive & she probably caught on to that through your behavior.
Being on the phone talking about “personal stuff” is not an end all be all indication of being romantically interested in someone.. you’re her COWORKER, she’s probably just trying to get to know you because she has strong social skills & wants to be familiar with the people around her.
You are making the right choice by reducing contact. Bring your contact to 0 and only interact on work related things, in a few weeks this will be something you chuckle at
That sounds delusional. There is no reason to believe you 100% can’t get pregnant. Even women who are told they’re infertile by doctors have still gotten pregnant. If you are having a period, it is possible to get pregnant unless you have been told BY A DOCTOR you are 100% sterile.
But touching the chain on the desk… would you have done that?
Sounds a bitsy weird. Not in a sexual way. But like … overstepping a professional boundary out of curiosity.
Therapy, practicing mindfulness and learning about empathy.
Someone suggested going to a lawyer even to just know my options so I’ll probably do that
She’s probably just being friendly. Women smile a lot because we’re socialized that way – it doesn’t mean anything.
Is there a reason you did not mention her borderline personality disorder in the original post? Did you not think it was relevant? (If not, why is it relevant now?)
And he really shouldn’t get back with Allison as she was all to ready to believe the lies without talking to the son about. There was no conversation in any of this and not speaking to him out of difference to the mom is a cop out.
“what if it gets worse with time”.
Hate to break it to you, love…
Nobody wants to beg.
Speak with him. If he continues, you can always end it.
This guy isn't even worth marrying so why even wait on him. Kick to curb, slam door shut, move on.
Your link says it can lie dormant not undetectable by health screening. That means you can have it without realising not that it wouldn't be detected of tested for.
Anyway as I said, you've lied in either this post your comment history so completely uninterested in your lies now :).
She likes hanging out with him because he is older, more mature, and can buy alcohol for her. Most likely he gets some kind of sexual favors from her.
Sorry man, this GF has got to go.
We have talked about the subject a couple times and she has reiterated the problems that were her breaking point. I’ve been fixing the problems she had but the problem I’m seeing is the lack of effort from her side. I just don’t know if I’m wasting my effort trying to fix it.
No one should talk sense into you. If you’re that stupid to stay with a man who’s been cheating on you for a year, believe his lies and “trauma”, you deserve to stay with him and be miserable. That’s what you get for being an idiot.
J
Don’t make yourself a martyr. You should have discussed your issues with your birthday after it happened then made a plan for his. Absent the discussion, you should have told him the prep for his party was up to him.
I definitely don’t want to drop by, even though SO keeps bringing up the suggestion lol.
Just try not to fall into the “you lied to me once” slippery slope because then it won't end well.
Both sides must be committed to rebuilding the trust
So, when she stops talking about it they think they’ve just gone away and everything is fine.
That would certainly be the obvious conclusion. Someone tells you they don't like the color of the drapes, you go with them to buy new drapes, there's no more conversation about the drapes so logically you'd conclude the problem was solved.
Little did you know the drapes were never the issue.
So, they might feel blindsided, but there are often signs before it ever happens.
Yeah if only men would realize that when she says the drapes she's talking about an unfulfilled life she had felt since becoming a young woman and a feeling she had hoped would change after marriage. A feeling she now blames on the man because he was unable to solve this unarticulated feeling. Guy's can be so obtuse, imagine thinking when your wife tells you she loves you that she's happy /s.
Hi there, I compromise on plenty of things in our relationship, take her on some pretty amazing dates. In fact, one of the arguments we had is she doesnt actively take me out. I feel the effort is all one way.
Really? So you are telling us that if you did the same with a dude you work with he would be okay with it?
Her actions are the proof. Rome wasn't built in a day. He needs to set boundaries before anything drastic happens.
I don't really have any advice OP except that you are absolutely right in believing that it will put a strain on your relationship.. I loved my in laws but would have never wanted them to live with my husband and I, one thing I learned though was that when my in laws were visiting us one time was that they absolutely hated that I would give left overs to my dogs and on our good plates, I think that was the main reason that they stopped coming to visit. 🙂 Maybe try that, treat your dogs like kids and see if that deters her. 🙂
It's not “a problem”. It's just an incompatibility. OP is an introvert. What if he doesn't like hanging out with people much? I don't, and neither does my SO. We have things we do apart from each other, and we do most things we can together, but forcing an introvert to find friends ain't gonna do them any better. Don't make it sound like there's something wrong with OP because there isn't.
Well, what have the fights been about? Who starts them typically? If you’ve been fighting daily for 4 months……. My tank would be empty too darling. Maybe a little space will help. Try to compromise and tell him how you feel about a time limit.
But also, you may need to accept that you need to work on yourself, he needs to work on himself, or maybe both before you’re ready to be a good partner to someone else.
I think you're maybe a little reactive because of your ex, but there are people with cluster B disorders who aren't abusive. Your ex was awful because she's awful, not because of her diagnosis.
I truly hope you're doing better and that you find all the happiness you can hold.
You aren’t wrong. In respect your decision. These Reddit trolls are dying for the chance to make someone else’s life as miserable as theirs.
Maybe it was him though, and he is using the best defence being a good offence strategy. Keep your eyes open OP.