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Usually when someone else has their attention or attraction then they find multiple little things to fight about and blame them on you to distract you. You then become too busy trying to figure out what you did wrong that you don’t notice what they’ve even up to. Him saying his sex life lacks variety is telling of him. If you are having memory issues with activities, get a hidden camera in to record yourself. It can help you track where you are lapsing in your memory.
While I believe your bf is being inconsiderate and selfish, I think you're being overdramatic and exaggerating. I don't believe for a moment that you can hear him stirring a glass of chocolate downstairs behind the garage door with fans on. Bullshit. Maybe you two need to sleep in separate rooms.
I am sadly having issues with this too. Have had the deathgrip for 27 years apparently, so I need to reset my sensitivity by not giving it attention for a while and easing it into orgasm through more gentle touch etc.
Secondly even though I make jokes, I do feel sad and disappointed in my performance. Thinking about how it will probably die during the act, therefore resulting it in actually coming true.