Dude. It isn't just hurt feelings you are risking. What if she gives you an STD? A life-threatening one? Do you love her enough to risk your life? Cut your losses. It hurts, but you got to look after yourself. Nobody else will.
I actually have a different read on your situation than most people here – it all depends on clarifying how all of this started. So let me be the devil's advocate here for a little bit.
Was it initially that she said that the guy was filling the place she wished you would fill, or that she told you that she was happy to hang out with someone during the day while you were working, and you got insecure about it without that being her intention at all? Did she ask to fix something about the relationship herself or did you get insecure and try to fix something that was not broken?
If there's a possibility that it's the second case, then maybe you freaked out for nothing, and in front of you freaking out, she took the (very bad) decision to hide this situation from you since it made you uncomfortable. Seems like it's only after being caught in that bad decision that she told you that she wouldn't need to hang out with him if you were more available, which might have more to do with her reacting in a (very bad) way to being confronted about a (very bad) decision she made.
If that's the case, she did make very bad decisions indeed, and she needs to take responsibility for them – and so does that dude that accepted to lie to you. At the same time, OP, maybe you need to accept that you can't be your wife's everything and fill all her needs, and friendship and companionship from other people than one's spouse has to be something normal within agreed upon boundaries. If it was a women she was hanging out with, I doubt your reaction would have been the same.
There is a real possibility everyone else here is right and that she has been emotionally and physically cheating on you, but I think there's also a fair chance your insecure reaction at the onset (and her very unskillful and questionable reaction to it) made this situation balloon into something it didn't need to become – only you know all the details, OP.
Dude. It isn't just hurt feelings you are risking. What if she gives you an STD? A life-threatening one? Do you love her enough to risk your life? Cut your losses. It hurts, but you got to look after yourself. Nobody else will.
hahaha perhaps. We're quite open with each other tho so seems unlikely. Why do you feel so strongly about this?
To ops' hubby , repeat after me ” cmere heifer ” since the birdcalls get to her.
I actually have a different read on your situation than most people here – it all depends on clarifying how all of this started. So let me be the devil's advocate here for a little bit.
Was it initially that she said that the guy was filling the place she wished you would fill, or that she told you that she was happy to hang out with someone during the day while you were working, and you got insecure about it without that being her intention at all? Did she ask to fix something about the relationship herself or did you get insecure and try to fix something that was not broken?
If there's a possibility that it's the second case, then maybe you freaked out for nothing, and in front of you freaking out, she took the (very bad) decision to hide this situation from you since it made you uncomfortable. Seems like it's only after being caught in that bad decision that she told you that she wouldn't need to hang out with him if you were more available, which might have more to do with her reacting in a (very bad) way to being confronted about a (very bad) decision she made.
If that's the case, she did make very bad decisions indeed, and she needs to take responsibility for them – and so does that dude that accepted to lie to you. At the same time, OP, maybe you need to accept that you can't be your wife's everything and fill all her needs, and friendship and companionship from other people than one's spouse has to be something normal within agreed upon boundaries. If it was a women she was hanging out with, I doubt your reaction would have been the same.
There is a real possibility everyone else here is right and that she has been emotionally and physically cheating on you, but I think there's also a fair chance your insecure reaction at the onset (and her very unskillful and questionable reaction to it) made this situation balloon into something it didn't need to become – only you know all the details, OP.