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Break up with him. The way he acted about you smoking already is abusive and disgusting. You deserve better. Him hurting you during sex is a whole issue on itself. You aren’t in the wrong here.
But of a generalisation there, many of the people who get upset at the generalising are not the same people getting caught out behaving that way.
Regardless though, people who behave poorly will try to defect and hide it and pretend to be one of the good ones, poor behaving women do the same thing. It's a dishonest person issue, not a gender one.