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I passed out as work once, and when they couldn’t wake me up they called an ambulance. As soon as my boyfriend (now husband!) was told, he told his boss that he was leaving work. He got to the hospital and was very shaken up. He said he’d been yell praying the whole way there, and I don’t think he left my side for a week, even though I was perfectly fine after.
He’s shown you how much he cares. As a nurse he probably has the ability to disconnect himself emotionally from these things, but this is way more than that.
You are laughably ignorant on how someone should treat a partner they know has been sexually assaulted, especially when they did communicate to you that the thing that was upsetting them was triggered memories of a previous sexual assault. what the bf did was selfish and unreasonable
I find having a coffee in hand that I really enjoy helps a lot. Gives my brain a bit of energy, and I have something in my hand! Thank you 🙂
You're calling him an amazing guy but he won't be in the same room as someone his partner had a fling with IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He is not an amazing guy. He's almost 30 and not over something that your sister did before she was old enough to even drive. This man is a joke and your sister is allowing it.
Maybe your girlfriend is mad at you for thinking that $300 isn't a lot of money.
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This is incredibly dodgy. She does not have the ethical integrity to go into this profession. I know it’s nude but I second advice other people have given you here to alert her superiors: her supervisors if you can, the head of her school of studies. She has treated you appallingly and that’s bad enough, but her lack of scruples has much broader implications.
It’s a date, but not necessarily a romantic one. It could be that she just wants to be friends with you.
If you are interested in being friends, or becoming romantic with her, then accept the invite, have fun and see where it goes.
Worse case you don’t have fun, and all that happens is you loose an evening of your time.
True, but she doesn’t set an alarm and will naturally wake up sometime around 2-3 AM, presumably partially from habit at this point too
She has been pretty open about her issues with me, but she has never mentioned laxatives, purges, or vomiting. I don’t think she has done that but I can’t be certain. In her words, she used to eat no more than 1200 calories per day on top of lots of walking. She said she doesn’t know why she doesn’t have the discipline to eat so few calories like she used to and is having a harder time dealing with hunger
I mean her grandpa is already in the room… lol
you’re just currently willing to (insert things he likes)
actually it's because he's the one getting to insert things.
Seriously, though, /u/ThrowRA67435345 , if he hates women, you're not an exception, no matter how much he lies. He's not an idiot, he knows that if he tells the truth and says he hates you, you will leave. He's lying to keep you around because he wants to keep having sex, and knows that if you leave, other women will see him for who he is. He's manipulating you, because, get this: he hates women, and you are a woman. That means that to him, anything he does to you is justified because you're a woman and need to make up for how terrible you are. He might not even know it, but he's pushing to test the boundaries, and if you don't leave him, he will continue getting worse, and you will suffer for it.
They are the childcare. Per OP he has no idea who will care for the kids, as he assumes it will be her…while she works full time and is the main bread winner.
he pays for the trip
You’re not pathetic, most people in this situation would feel the same. That being said, you can’t make someone feel something they don’t feel, and it seems like he has already made the decision that this isn’t a relationship he wants to be in any longer. Unfortunately a relationship that only one person wants to be in isn’t something that’s sustainable, regardless of how much you want it to be. I’m sorry.
Just block him.
For someone who says all he has is his wife & doesn’t want to lose her, you sure have a funny way of showing it.
I’m appalled that you think it’s ok or normal to treat her like that.
Like I said on your original post, you are not her ex, and after 5 years she couldn't see she could trust you then, you were wasting your time.
It is best that she broke up with you. Now you can move on and find a healthy relationship. Be happy.
She unfortunately will never find a happy relationship, because no man is going to deal with her punishing him for a ex's wrong doings.
I know it don't feel like it now, but one day you will be glad she broke up with you.
Don't take her back if she comes back asking you to. Or you will never get out of the cycle that she had you in.
I never drove when drinking. Usually I'd take public transport or a taxi (Uber is for you young kids) both ways.
You betrayed her trust and you're worried about her brief infatuation for an internet stranger who was nice to her?
yea this is a better definition than the one i offered. very gross/strange imo
“Why are you booing her she's right” lol. Imagine letting your wife go to some new country all by herself with a guide of the opposite sex you don't know anything about…yeah no. That's not controlling, that's rational. If you went with her before, or she was going with her friends, I'd understand. She's not, she's going with a bunch of strangers and this guy she follows… either she's extremely naive (possible and you need to let her understand the risks) or he's going to guide her… straight to his bed!
Wow what a moron. Seriously why are you with him? There have been many strong female leaders and women juggle it all in life!
He is insanely disrespectful. Also do not change yourself for someone else! There is nothing wrong with not being girly. I'm not girly but I'm still feminine, there is a difference.
You deserve better he is a pathetic excuse for a man and with incredibly outdated views. This isn't the 1950s.
Bruh you do realise that in this scenario women still have to work and pay for things for their child …right? ? Also all the emotional labour they do to raise their child, the cutbacks they have to make in their career. U think throwing money at the child is going to raise it? Obviously not.
This is so awkward
Also you should really avoid sleeping with people you work with, especially in an environment where you are looking after protected classes.
Most schools have policies against staff dating too
this 100% is not going to work out
Thank you! I appreciate your advice.
But shall I ask her the following question and see what she says?
He had a vasectomy. They had no reason to believe it failed. Why would she stay on hormonal birth control?
Oh, same letters but that makes way more sense. I’m embarrassed.
As for feeling sick, maybe don’t think of it as being mean to yourself on one side and being kind to yourself on the other, as that can make it feel fake, instead maybe just encourage yourself to keep an open mind or use mindfulness to observe but not react to the feeling.
But also, there’s a different theory you might find interesting or useful. It’s the idea that anxiety feels the same in the body as excitement, it’s the preparation of the body for something new or different to happen. For people with anxiety, when young new often meant danger or bad so that feeling of preparation is linked to bad things, thus it’s translated as worry, preparing for bad things. People with out anxiety, that feeling of preparation was linked to both good and bad things so it doesn’t automatically trigger worries. So maybe for you, what might help is to trigger that feeling in a way that turns out good, and to do it repeatedly to rewire your brain to not instantly feel worry, but to be aware that it could just as much turn out well as in bad. I don’t know, it’s just an idea I always found interesting. Might be useful might not.
That's supportive, you're a good partner!
I would ease him back into your family slowly. So one to one at first. You don't want him to become overwhelmed.
You have repeatedly tried to compromise and and have asked him to respect your needs. He’s unable or unwilling to do so. It sounds like you two aren’t on the same page as far as attachment in a relationship. And that’s ok. Maybe you can work on it. But more than likely, this isn’t something that is going to change.
It’s his responsibility to learn how to self regulate. He’s a grown adult, and you’re his girlfriend, not his relationship coach.
Maybe it’s time to step back and evaluate the relationship. Is it healthy? Is it sustainable?
No I don’t think you should be unhappy forever, I think you should work on your problems
She has moved on. She's not waiting on you becoming better.
You can get better before you meet the next person.
Your husband was not prepared for how he would feel or the jealousy that comes with seeing his own wife with another man.
He was too busy thinking about getting his dick wet with another woman.
Dude once trust iis broken or gone all together there iis no fixing that. You will never be able to trust herr again.
Not at the moment
You can either break up with him now before you catch them fucking each other or you can break up with him after your catch them fucking each other. Your choice
He doesn't care about your feelings at all, the only feelings he is thinking about at the moment are the feelings in his dick so just end it now and save yourself any more hurt
He didn’t realize anything. He tried to hurt you so you would give in and do what he wanted and when that didn’t work he tried a new way to control you. Gross. No. Listen to that giddy relief you felt! That’s the answer!
That is straight up bullshit and i would exit and be done. He shows you what he thinks of you. What a fucking ass. Lose his number and move on to new friends and the next group of friends you get don’t let them walk all over you !! you are worth more than that and don’t be anyone’s doormat. I can’t believe he told you not to think too much about it. what a fucking loser. OMG.
He will not change & neither his parents.
The problem isn’t just that your goofy ass showed it to her it’s that you have it saved on your phone still
If I’m honest I don’t know if you CAN come back from this
You royally screwed the pooch on this one
I'm not defending nazism. I'm defending free speech. But whatever, I don't think you're the sort of person that can understand the difference.
Did he know about your psycho-ex ? Cause just from the way you describe it , it sounds like he had a joke in mind without knowing your past history , then when you got frantic , he thought you were playing along or something and didn’t really realise how bad it was until you explained it .
I know this has been said in a couple of other comments, but I'm going to reiterate this one:
Stop. Doing. Things. For. Him.
Do what you need for yourself. He does not see your invisible labour, and he doesn't care how much it affects you as long as his needs are met.
You have talked to him, repeatedly, and he claims understanding, yet nothing changes. He will not change unless he is inconvenienced. Stop making life easy for him at your own expense.
Do your own laundry, get him his own basket. Cook the meals you want, only cook for him if it's convenient. Behave as if you are the only person who matters in the relationship – which is what he is doing. Look after yourself, stop going the extra mile.
One of two things will happen. He will pick up his act, or the two of you will realise that you are not compatible as a couple. The only other option is you keep behaving as his servant – and you are clearly over that. But you do need to be decisive about stopping.
Damn, this hurts to read. Hoping for the best for you.
Honestly i was just kinda bullshittin with the dangerously beautiful part because he had said it like that to me. Its mostly when men are attracted to me physically but cant handle the actual person i am…And you're completely right about that 1st part, but i also feel like i have invested in this too, and for some reason he acts maturely enough to apologize but always ends up bringing it up. For example, yesterday night he brought up how he feels like when he compliments me “i dont react in the way he wants” and i asked how should i react, after letting him know that i always get compliments and that him telling me “im beautiful” every 5 secs defeats the purpose opposed to phrasing it in something i would react to in a sense. And he just said “well im being treated like any other guy (brought up the tiktok fans again) and i maturely told him that if that was an issue still? (Even having deactivated my socials for him) and told him that he was gaslighting me in a sense at this point for not getting what he wants.